


I live, I die, I live again

by nienorbun



Category: Mad Max Series (Movies)
Genre: Adventure, F/M, Romance, Science Fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-04
Updated: 2015-07-18
Packaged: 2018-04-07 16:07:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 38
Words: 72,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4269597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nienorbun/pseuds/nienorbun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Imagine yourself on the Fury Road, unprepared and ripped from your ordinary life. An attempt to express how terrifying, uncomfortable and insane that might be. Transported from modern Western society to the world of Fury Road by unknown means, Rachel must survive through the chaos surrounding the Citadel after Furiosa's return. OC/Nux sort of. Rated M for sexual content. COMPLETE</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I just got here and don't really understand how to turn this into the first chapter, so apologies for any format weirdness.  
> I'm also not that experienced at writing fan fic, this has just been fermenting in my brain since the first time I saw the film.  
> Plus, I have this up on FanFiction.org under the same name, so I'm not ripping off anyone else's work (other than George Miller of course - after all this is fan fiction).

I stood at the end of a twisting canyon, the dusty rocks muted and jagged under the night sky. To my left was a rock fall which completely blocked that canyon end. At first I thought the rocks were piled in strange shapes towards it, but then my vision shifted, as often happens under moonlight, and I saw that what I’d taken for stones and boulders were in fact the wrecks of many metal vehicles.  
I trembled a little with fear before reminding myself that this must all be a dream. Holding that thought close, I stepped forward timidly. As I drew level with the start of the wreckage, the scene shifted again, and revealed many of the smaller rocks and wreckage to be human bodies, crushed and mangled by the sea of metal and rock.  My throat dry with horror, I picked my way through the wreckage aimlessly, coming to a stop by the final rock fall which choked the canyon. The shadows were dark and menacing, shot with the occasional glitter of twisted steel. Half covered by rubble was the outline of a huge truck, some kind of oil tanker it must’ve been, but now it was split and rent in a dozen places.  
I reached out my hand and touched the cold pitted surface of the tanker’s ruin. How real the sensation seemed, solid beyond dreaming. Feeling a tremor of doubt, I half-sat, half-fell onto an outcropping of rock, folding forward until my head rested on my knees and my arms dangled by my sides. The sand was cold as I stroked it under my fingers, the sensual reality of it quickening my fear.  
I’m going to wake up any second, I told myself. Or this will just slip into some other half-dream, hopefully one not as visceral. Suddenly something touched my trailing fingers, and I jumped up with a squeak of alarm. That had definitely felt real. I looked down, ready to run or stomp, depending on what the dream brought me.  
I almost did stomp on it, writhing there feebly in the dust, a white hand clawing slowly at space. But compassion and curiosity won over repulsion, and I knelt beside it cautiously. Gently I touched the palm with my fingertips, and was rewarded with a convulsive grip. In a daze I let the fingers of my other hand crawl up the wrist to a forearm hidden under a curve of metal.  
And then something unexpected and truly dreamlike happened; I felt as if warmth was draining out of me into that cold arm, progressively faster and faster. With a gasp, I dropped to my knees. The dream became a nightmare, as the palpitations of my heart beat slower and the life ebbed out of me until I fell face forward into the dirt. Still, the white hand clenched around my fingers and my other hand seemed glued to that sinewy arm. They seemed warmer than my own now, as if I could feel the vibrancy of the bloody pumping through them.  
Wake up! I screamed to myself as the darkness of oblivion closed over me.  
It was the grey light of dawn when I blearily opened my eyes. I was lying on my back in the dust and I felt as weak as a kitten. I was horribly aware of the pebbles digging into my flesh through my nightshirt. I stifled a sob; either this was the most lucid dream ever, or I was actually awake, in a strange world. Out of sight I heard some kind of scuffling and shakily managed to prop myself up on one elbow to see what it was.  
About 12 feet away a bizarre figure was rummaging through the rubble by the tanker cab. He was male, and almost preternaturally pale, with a shaved head. His only clothing was black cargo pants and biker boots. On the thin side of slim, I could still see the definition of his arm and torso muscles from this distance, as well as the raised outlines of some intricately massive scarring on his chest.  
Apprehensively I tried to raise myself up to a sitting position, making my head spin as I slumped back down. At the sound of this, the strange figure jerked his head in my direction and came jogging over. He squatted down beside me with another jerky movement, and tentatively reached a hand towards me. I flinched back automatically, and he pulled his hand back, putting both palms up towards me in a gesture which clearly was meant to reassure. This close I could see his eyes, pale shards of blue surrounded by some kind of black makeup or grease. He looked at me inquisitively.  
“Please, don’t hurt me.” I whispered, unable to get the energy to speak louder.  
He cocked his head to one side as if the idea puzzled him. “You brought me back.” He said, as if that was an answer. I noticed that his lips were scarred with vertical marks. Combined with the black around his eyes, it seemed designed to give him a skull-like appearance. In spite of his fearsome look, I realised he was quite young. I also noticed that what I’d taken for skin pallor was actually some kind of body paint, flaking and smudged.  
I opened my mouth to say something, I’m not sure what, probably beg for my life, but the weakness was making black spots float in front of my eyes, and all that came out was a feeble groan. With that same clumsy style of movement, he leant forward and dribbled some liquid between my unresisting lips. At first I thought it was water, but then realised that strangely it was milk, creamy and cool. He waited while I gulped a little and then returned the flask to one of his cargo pockets. Without warning, he picked me up and carried me a little way, before depositing me gently in the lee of a large rock.  
I watched curiously as he trotted off, back to rummaging in the wreckage. His movements were gawky and unself-conscious, sort of like a large puppy. The sun climbed over the cliffs off the canyon, warming them to a rusted red. A shaft of light crossed me and I looked down at my hands folded in the lap of my nightshirt. Somehow that was the final evidence for me that I was not dreaming, that this was all reality, as nightmarish as that seemed.  
My musings were interrupted by the return of the stranger as he dropped what looked like a bullet belt near my legs. I looked up at him and he flashed me a goofy lopsided grin. “Gotta get it before the scavs do.” He nodded and returned to his search.  
The warmth of the morning sun combined with my extreme weakness must’ve caused me to doze, because the next thing I knew, I was being carried by him and rolled under part of the wrecked tanker. It stank of petrol and blood, making me choke a little. He knelt as if to follow me under, and all of a sudden something impacted the metal and ricocheted away. In a flash he had straightened up and darted out of my sight. More whining impacts struck the tanker, and I realised with a shock they were bullets.  
Lowering my head improved my limited field of view; I could now see my stranger fighting two figures. I assumed they were men, but it was hard to tell because their faces were covered in strange horned helmet/gasmask combinations, long dredds swinging as they jabbed flashing knives. My pale stranger was fielding their attacks with more agility and grace than I’d given him credit for, but he had no weapon. As I watched he stooped and brought up part of a car door to shield himself; in one balletic movement using it to wrench away one of the knives. A swift backhand with the door felled one attacker, but the other just leapt over his fallen comrade, slicing towards the young man’s throat.  
A shadow crossed in front of me; another enemy had joined the fray. I could hear the sound of a gun being loaded, but all I could see was a pair of dusty boots, and a glimpse of pale hairy leg. My stranger had his back to this new enemy, and my heart stopped when I saw he was unaware of the danger that stood behind him. Desperately, I lunged with all my strength, grabbing the unseen leg above one boot. I simply meant to trip this attacker and give time for the pale man to react, but as my hand closed over the greasy skin, I felt a strange glueing sensation, and the sensation of warmth and energy flowing into me.  
My enemy dropped as if he was poleaxed, sending up a cloud of red dust. My hand still seemed glued to him, and I was pulled forward with his motion, banging my head on the rim of my metal hiding place. I sprawled in the dust next to the prone figure, still feeling that rush of warmth and life spreading through me. Remembering the immediate danger, I scrambled to my knees, looking for a rock to beat my enemy with; but the sight of his staring and glazed eyes told me that was no longer necessary.  
I knelt there panting, energy coursing through me. My head was pounding and it took a moment for me to come back to the present as a hand grabbed my shoulder. It was the pale stranger, breathing heavily himself, and with flecks of blood and oil streaking his form.  
“Time to go!” he yelled urgently, dragging me to my feet. Dazed, I allowed myself to be pulled over to a motorbike, trying to ignore the two sprawled bodies nearby. He leapt astride it and pulled me down behind him. I almost fell off as he revved it into life, but managed to grab his waist with both hands. Clinging on for dear life, I pressed myself against his back, feet scrabbling for some purchase. We were already going fast enough to make my hair whip violently around. All I could hear was the roar of the engine, and I was too afraid to look up to see if we were being followed.


	2. Chapter 2

It was only after what seemed like an eternity – but was probably merely a few minutes – that I dared to loosen my grip a little and take in the passing scenery. It was also at this point that I noticed that no strange energy transfer had taken place between me and the stranger when I’d gripped his waist. Casting the thought aside as irrelevant to my present circumstances, I returned to looking around me.  
We were still in the twisting canyon, the sun now high in the cobalt sky, and beating down on us fiercely. The motorbike sent up clouds of dust behind and around us. Shifting my weight cautiously, I peeked around the stranger but could only see the canyon continuing ahead, snaking so that its crumbling walls obscured more distant vision. The dust was choking and I was dizzy from the sun, but I felt like it was time to try and communicate with my strange companion, in the hopes of figuring out what the hell was going on.  
“Where are we going?” I screamed hoarsely, the wind stealing all the power out of my voice. No response. Not sure if he was ignoring me or just couldn’t hear me, I moved my hands to his shoulders. I had to stand up a little to put my mouth to his ear, as he was much taller than me.  
“Where are we going?” I yelled, my lips grazing his ear. He moved his head away a little and yelled something back at me, but the wind and the roar of the engines drowned most of it. All I caught was the word “Out…”  
Frustrated but accepting that I was going to get no real explanation until we stopped, I transferred my hands back to his waist, feeling the muscles of his abdomen twitch as I did so. I gave myself up to numbness, and although that worked for my mind, soon my body was rebelling against the whole situation. The sun was burning me, the dust choked me, and I was becoming stiff and sore from sitting on the bike. I found myself shifting more and more, trying to relieve the pressure in my seat bones and my knees; burying my face as much as I could between his shoulder blades in order to keep the sun, wind and dust out.  
So it was that I didn’t even know we’d cleared the canyon until the bike started to swing round in a large arc. Risking a glance, I raised my head and saw an expanse of sand and sky which seemed to go on forever. Looking over my shoulder I could see the distant ridge of mountains we’d left behind, the canyon simply a dark blot in a larger indistinct mass of tumbled hills. Ahead was nothing more than a small dune of sand, an island in the flat sea of this red desert.  
The stranger drove to the top of this and then stopped. It took me awhile to get used to the absence of motion; it felt like everything was still vibrating, and I had to cling to the frame to stop from keeling forward when he got off the bike. He produced a pair of battered binoculars from one of the bike’s panniers and put them to his eyes, scanning the horizon in all directions.  
Since we seemed in no immediate danger, I decided to risk getting off the bike myself, but I was so stiff, blistered and burned that the moment I stood up, my legs gave way, and I collapsed in a heap next to the bike. Feeling unspeakably frustrated and weak, I let out a sob, which quickly turned into real tears.  
“You alright?” asked my strange companion. He squatted beside me and pushed my hair aside so that he could see my face.  
Enraged by what I considered the stupidity of this simple question, I dashed his hand away and scowled up at him.  
“No! No, I’m not bloody alright!” I yelled, heedless of the consequences. “I don’t know what the fuck is going on, I don’t know where I am, and who the hell are you?!”  
Blinking a little at my outburst, he rocked back on his heels, resting his forearms on his thighs. He seemed quite nonplussed by all my questions, but after a moment of thought, he answered slowly.  
“M’name’s Nux. We’re west of the Citadel, heading out to deep desert. Back there,” he shrugged his head in the direction of the mountains, “that’s where we shredded Immortan Joe and his war parties.” Here he stopped and gave me a strange look, a glint in his blue eyes. “Thought I was dead, heading for Valhalla. Couldn’t leave you for the scavs though, not after you brought me back.”  
Seemingly embarrassed by either this conversation or having spoken so many sentences at once, he rubbed his bald head with one hand, looking away. For my part, I sat there opening and closing my mouth like a dying fish, trying to make sense of what he’d said.  
This uncomfortable conversation was making me think about things I’d been avoiding since this all started. I really had no idea how I’d gotten here, wherever here was. It had started like a dream, in situ, but my blistered skin and sore muscles argued otherwise. Things had happened which were not physically possible, without explanation. And the only point of sympathetic human contact I had in this world was someone who really seemed a little cracked.  
Breaking my reverie, Nux sat down fully, legs drawn up in front of him. He flung a wiry arm out in the direction of the mountains. “Gotta go back that way.” He told me conversationally. “No good trying to go round the mountains; not enough fuel for us or the bike.” He flopped back on his elbows, the shadow of the bike striping his face. “Wait til dark though, hope scavs miss us.” He turned on one elbow towards me. “What’re you called? How’d you do it anyway; bring me back, I mean?”   
I was struck by the intensity of expression in his blue eyes. I felt I’d misjudged him; he was obviously more intelligent and thoughtful than I’d considered.  
“Rachel,” I answered slowly, gathering my thoughts as to his second question, “I’m called Rachel.” I shook my head, pursing my lip in concentration. “I really don’t know. I don’t know anything right now; I’m completely lost.” My lip trembled as I said these last words. Lost, completely and utterly lost, in every sense of the word. The trembling spread to the rest of my body, and I clenched my fists in the sand, trying to summon up the will to be more stoic.  
Nux reached over tentatively and put a reassuring hand on my shoulder. “Rest, it’ll fix you up.” He motioned with his head towards the mountains again. “We get back to the Citadel, Furiosa’ll help you figure it out. Reckon she’s in charge now Joe’s gone.” He gave my shoulder a small friendly shake. “Rest now.”   
He motioned me to lie lengthways in the shade of the bike. Wincing slightly, I lowered myself into blessedly cool shadow. I closed my eyes, trying to sleep, but in spite of exhaustion, found myself unable to. I opened my eyes wearily; Nux was lying on his back at a right angle to me so that his head was in shadow, arms behind his head. Lying on my side I could see his interlocked fingers and bald skull, dark shapes beyond which wavered the bright heat of the desert and the deep rich blue of the sky.  
My thoughts kept going over and over the same ground, and I discovered an unsettling truth; I had no recollection of how I had come to be here. Memories of my normal life seemed dim and unreal, fragmented. I could remember climbing into a soft bed, but I couldn’t really remember the rest of the day. Images of faces and environments were garbled and without context. I tried to think about where I lived, but all that surfaced was an image of concrete and glass towers sandwiched between green mountains and the sea. I concentrated, hoping for further illumination, a name. Canada. That was it.  
Excited as I was by this revelation, exhaustion was starting to catch up with me. My eyelids drooped, and I slipped into fitful sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

When I awoke, the sun was dipping below the horizon, kindling the bowl of the sky to vibrant reds and purples. The land was already grey with coming night, and the burning heat was replaced with a fairly chilly breeze. I stretched, and immediately winced; my body felt battered and my sunburn throbbed.   
Looking around for Nux, I saw he was rooting through the bike’s saddlebags, throwing items into a couple of piles. He glanced up as I stood, and flashed me another lop-sided grin, before throwing something small towards me. Fumbling, it slipped through my fingers, and when I retrieved it, I saw it was a slip of dried meat, very leathery looking.  
I gulped. I remembered enough to know I was vegetarian, but I hadn’t eaten in approximately 24 hours, and I certainly hadn’t seen any vegetables since arriving in this savage and desolate world. Concentrating on my will to survive, I started to chew slowly. Its dryness only accentuated how thirsty I was. I ran a swollen tongue over my dehydrated lips. Leaving his search, Nux stepped closer to me, and handed me the milk flask from his trouser pocket. It was still cool, but a slightly sour tinge told me it wouldn’t be good much longer. I was so thirsty I didn’t care, and it was an effort not to down the whole lot.   
He took a swig once I’d handed it back, stowed it back in his pocket, and then motioned me to sit. As he started tearing some dirty cloth into strips, I gazed up at him, once again noticing how young he seemed in spite of his height and scarred body. Ignoring my stare, he knelt and pointed at one of my feet. Puzzled, I looked down at it, and then recoiled a little as he placed his hand on my ankle. The touch of his fingers was warm after the coolness of the night, his hand large enough to entirely circle my ankle. Fearing the worst, I cringed and tensed with apprehension, but his next move was to start wrapping my foot in the strips of cloth. Relaxing, I lowered myself to sitting.  
He smiled up at me as he worked, blue eyes catching the last of the fading light. “Not as good as boots, but better than nothing.” He stated with satisfaction before moving to my other foot.  I watched his deft movements, biting my tongue on all the questions I wanted to ask. Nux didn’t seem to want to talk much, and I didn’t want to badger him. Only one question seemed relevant to our immediate situation.  
“Um, what do we do once we go back there?” I asked, greatly daring. “We’re not getting a motorbike over that rockfall.”  
Nux shrugged, and stood up to survey his handiwork. I waggled my feet, and took his proffered hand to help me stand up. The bindings were tight, but hopefully they’d stop my soles getting too cut up.   
“We climb, then we walk.” He explained. “Two, maybe three days to the Citadel.” He gazed wistfully towards the mountains. I looked at him doubtfully, not liking the thought of half a week’s walk through a desert with only sour milk and dried meat to sustain me.  
The light was fading fast now, and Nux quickly divided one of the piles in half and started stuffing some items into his pockets. He tossed a large pouch at me.  
“Won’t have time at the other end; lose this and we’ll be drinking dust.” He said. These words scared me more than a little; I was already horribly thirsty again. I slung the pouch over my shoulder and followed him towards the motorbike.  
He looked up at me from his seat as I put my hands on his shoulders and perched behind him. His eyes were very large and serious, echoing the tension in his body. It made me aware that this plan was probably pretty desperate, and I clung to him tightly, whispering a silent prayer for survival to whoever might be listening. I was very conscious of the aches and pains in my body, and the way the night air cut through the thin material of my nightshirt. Unfortunately, I was also embarrassingly conscious of the warmth of his back, and the fact that the nightshirt was the only thing separating us from skin to skin contact.   
The rev of the engine jerking us into motion brought my focus back to more serious matters like survival, and I spent the next while checking our surroundings for any sign of danger. Nux was driving without headlights, which seemed pretty suicidal to me, but I got the feeling it would be even more reckless to attract the kind of attention moving lights in this dark wasteland would bring.  
On and on we went through the desert, inching towards the jagged silhouette of the mountains. Cold and sore, I kept looking around trying to distract myself. I wanted to talk to Nux, ask him questions, but the engine roar made that impossible. So instead I tipped my head up and surveyed the stars, hoping to find something recognisable, a signpost to where I was. But the only constellation I could really remember was the Big Dipper, and that was nowhere in sight. I gasped; a star crossing the sky that fast could only be a satellite. So they had satellites in this world, which meant more civilization somewhere, didn’t it? I lowered my head until my cheek pressed against the warmth of Nux’s back, and winced as the contact scraped my inflamed skin. A memory came flooding back; me as a little girl, crying because I’d spent too long in the sun.   
Briefly I wondered what I must look like right now; dusty and burned, clad only in what was rapidly becoming a filthy nightshirt, my feet bound in cloth strips for shoes. Maybe I looked as cracked to Nux as he did to me. Suddenly I felt his stomach muscles tense under my fingers and looked up to see what had caused it.   
While I’d been distracting myself, we’d reached the foothills, and now they and the mountains were large menacing shapes. The canyon ahead was a maze of dappled light and shadow, cast by the sliver of a moon I hadn’t even noticed rising. And it was now that the whole driving without headlights thing began to seem even more suicidal, as Nux wove the bike at high speed through the twisting lane of the canyon, the dark towering walls on either side flashing past. Convinced that any second he was going to hit an unseen rock and send us both spilling into the dirt, I tightened my grip and prayed to whatever god would listen that we would make it through the next couple of hours.  
So concentrated was I on a potential crash that I was unprepared when he brought the bike to a skidding halt, and I was still trying to get my bearings while he was pulling me off and leading me at a fast run towards the darkness of a canyon wall. At first I thought he’d left the bike running, but then I realised with dread that I was hearing the sounds of pursuit, other bikes.  
“Up!” he hissed, and basically lifted me and threw me at the wall. Stunned, I had just enough sense left to scrabble with hands and feet for holds, but he was already past me by the time I started hauling myself up. He reached down a hand, glimmering pale against the dark rock, and pulled me up after him. Something clattered against the rock beneath me, and I began to climb in real earnest. There’s nothing like the terror of being shot to make you forget your aches and pains; I didn’t consider myself athletic, but I climbed that wall like a lizard, the will to survive goading me upwards. Nux helped of course, for his reach was much longer than mine, and frequently he had to reach down to assist me. All the while, unseen bullets whined around us, sending rock fragments flying.  
I was beginning to think we must be near the top when suddenly there was a flash of unbearably bright light and a wave of heat and noise struck came from beneath. I shrieked as the rock seemed to shudder under me, dislodging one foot from its precarious hold. I saw Nux’s hand reaching towards me out of the brightness and grabbed for it desperately. His face looked truly demonic in the afterglow of that hellish light; he was shouting as he helped me up, but all I could hear was the ringing in my ears.  
It seemed we had reached some kind of shelf, for he pulled me along almost level ground now. There was open sky ahead of us, but still dark wall to our right. Another explosion of light and heat impacted behind us, and I tripped forward, sprawling in the dust. Nux dragged me up again, and I accelerated to keep up with him, blind fear pushing out any rational thought.  
We reached the edge so suddenly I almost fell over it, but I was given no time to consider the best way to get down; Nux leapt into the darkness below, pulling me after him. The impact of landing unbalanced me and I knocked into him so that we were both rolling down a scree slope, heading towards some unseen outcome. Feeling his arms tightly around me I clung to him as our momentum battered us both.  I was only semi-conscious when our rolling fall was stopped; he crashed into something first, and I fell on top of him, feeling the whoosh of his expelled breath as my elbows knocked the air out of him.   
His recovery was astonishing; I was still shaking my head dazedly when he sprang up and crawled to one side, a light touch on my wrist indicating that I should follow. Doggedly I crawled after him as he seemed to be swallowed by a wedge of shadow. Once there, I realised dimly that we were sheltering in a deep crack between two boulders.  Huddled in the dark I felt like a trapped animal, the sound of my ragged breathing deafening in my ears. I felt Nux tense beside me as we squatted close together; his hand covered my mouth, and I made an effort to quieten my breathing.


	4. Chapter 4

“See ‘em?” A man yelled.  
“Nah, think they rolled over the edge.” Came a hoarse response closer to us. “Strip the bodies once day comes; I ain’t risking following ‘em over.”   
I heard the sound of loose earth and rock sliding towards us as our pursuer climbed away from us. The sound faded into nothing until all I could hear was the pounding of my heart and my and Nux’s subdued breathing. As danger faded, I became more and more aware of how scraped up I was; my legs and arms were a mass of stinging pain.  
Nux moved his hand from my mouth until he cupped my ear, and I felt hot breath as he whispered, “Gotta keep moving; follow me - slowly.” In the darkness I reddened with embarrassment at this oblique reference to my earlier clumsiness. His hand travelled down my arm until he was clasping my hand, and I saw the outline of his bald head darkening the entrance to our hideout as he led me out. We half-crawled, half-slid down the slope, with Nux stopping to listen every time we dislodged any scree. My legs felt on the verge of giving way when he finally halted on the edge of some precipice.  
Looking past him I could see the blue-violet darkness of the land, the bright stars above. It was hard to tell how high up we still were. Nux was leaning over the edge, bracing himself with his arms, his head twisting as he scanned below. He rocked back on his heels and turned towards me, beckoning me forward. Cautiously, I crept towards the edge, and looked over in the direction he was pointing. It didn’t help much; all I could see were overlapping rectangles of blackness, useless for gauging depth.  
He leant close to me, his lips touching my ear as he whispered, “Me first, lower yourself down after. I’ll catch you.”  
Without waiting for a response, he lowered himself slowly over the edge, until he was hanging by his fingertips. His pale skull caught the moonlight and glinted for a second before he let go completely. My mouth was dry with fear; I had no idea how long of a drop he was risking, and I wasn’t convinced he had any idea either. To my relief, it seemed no more than about 9 or 10 feet, his head not much out of reach from my outstretched arm. My arms were shaking with continued effort as much as fear while I lowered myself until I also was hanging by my fingertips. The strain on them was intolerable, and I knew I couldn’t hold on for long. Thankfully I felt his hands grip my calves, and as soon as I let go, those hands slid up my body, guiding me down. The contact was intimate as I passed through the circle of his arms, my nightshirt riding up so that my bare thighs slid over his chest. But it didn’t linger, for he set me down on the ground and then turned away immediately, searching for the next step in our path.  
In this slow and painstaking way we made our way down to where the foothills met the rising flat of the desert. Grey light was replacing darkness, and we made quicker progress as the ground became more and more distinct. Weariness and pain were taking their toll on me, but fear of being caught in the open drove us both, and I stumbled along silently behind Nux. He kept scanning the surroundings, obviously looking for a place we could hide during daylight. Finally he found what he was searching for, and drew me over to a large rent in the ground, partially overhung by a large flat outcropping of rock. Into this inadequate refuge we crept, huddling at the bottom. I leant back against one side of the rift gratefully while Nux flung himself down beside me. He sighed, and stretched his long legs out in front of him, shooting me a weary smile.  
“Should be ok now.” He whispered, fishing his milk flask and some of the dried meat out of one rent cargo pocket. I accepted it numbly, almost too tired to eat. I was asleep almost before I’d finished chewing.  
The sun shining in my eyes woke me; it was riding high in the noon sky, and a stray shaft speared down to dazzle me. Squinting, I shaded my eyes with my hand and shifted further down in the shallow trench. Averting my eyes brought Nux into view, and I saw that he was awake, watching me with those intense blue eyes of his. My shifting had brought us shoulder to shoulder; feeling awkward about the proximity I braced my arm so that I stopped within an inch of him, so close that I could feel the hairs on his arm brushing my skin.  
“Sorry,” I whispered through parched lips. “Didn’t mean to wake you.”  
A slightly raised eyebrow was his only response, and then to my surprise he slowly reached out one arm around my shoulders and pulled me close, until my shoulder nestled under his arm pit. Some part of me was sending warning signals to my rational brain, but I was so exhausted and miserable, and it felt so comforting, that I couldn’t resist. With a sigh, I let my head droop to his chest, and closed my eyes again. I drifted off to sleep with the sensation of his scars under my cheek.  
Waking was agony; I thought the earth was shaking under me, but it was only my head being dislodged as Nux sat up. Everything hurt, from the sunburn under my matted hair to the tattered remains of my foot bindings. The stench of stale sweat hung over me like a pall and my scrapes and burns stung with throbbing intensity.  
Thirst clove my tongue to the roof of my mouth. I took the milk flask from him with shaking hands, dribbling the last of it between my burned and flaking lips.  
He looked slightly the worse for wear too; dark stubble was beginning to shade his head, but the scratches that started there before continuing down his face and body were very visible. Most of the white body paint was gone, although he was still very pale. I couldn’t tell if the dark circles around his eyes were the remnants of makeup, or just plain exhaustion.  He returned my appraising gaze with another of those lop-sided grins.  
“You look pretty shredded yourself.” He said, using a hand on the rift wall to steady himself as he stood up. The low angle of the setting sun turned his skin fiery red, the blue of his eyes echoed in the darkening blue of the sky.  
Shading his eyes with his hand, he stared off into the distance while I crouched there waiting. After a few minutes he ducked down again and said, “Ok, reckon I’ve got our bearings. Strike out to the west until we hit the Fury Road, then it’s just a short run north to the citadel.” He offered his hand to me as he stood up again.  
I closed my eyes and shook my head. “I don’t think I can, man. I don’t know how you do it, I’m just totally shattered.”  
I heard his wry chuckle as he took my hands, dragging me reluctantly to my feet. At first I thought he was being dismissive of my self-pity, but when I opened my eyes and took in his sad expression, eyes large with some remembered trauma, I realised his reaction probably had less to do with me than I’d thought.  
“Spent so long running on empty as a half-life, this is all chrome compared.” He said seriously, and then transfixed me with a pure puppy-dog look in his eyes. “Since you brought me back, I know what it’s like to be full-life, super-charged and high octane.” He guided my hand to his left shoulder, just where the neck met the collar bone. “See? Even Larry and Barry are gone.”   
“Stop saying that.” I jerked my hand away, nettled, not sure what my fingers were supposed to have found other than skin and the flow of bone and muscle beneath. “I don’t know what happened, but whatever, it was an accident.” As I said these words, my inner voice was clamoring that it was not a good idea to disillusion him, since I was pretty reliant on his goodwill.  
He looked at me thoughtfully for an instant, then shrugged and took my hand again.  
“Not leaving you here anyway; start walking.”   
Accepting the finality in his voice, I followed him as we clambered out of the rift and set off. Ahead of us the sun dipped below the horizon, letting the first stars of night spring out overhead.


	5. Chapter 5

It was hard to keep up with Nux; his stride was so much longer than mine, and once he’d gotten into a walking rhythm he didn’t falter. For me it was a different matter; I tottered along, sometimes trotting to catch up with him, then slowly falling behind as the energy drained out of me. The pouch containing water, which I was very proud to have hung onto through all that chaos, bumped against my hip continuously. I had to constantly adjust it, preventing me from concentrating on just walking. I gritted my teeth and started to whisper a grim mantra: ‘one foot in front of the other, just put one foot in front of the other’.  
The land was rising slowly, just enough to increase the pressure on my calves and knees. Night was so chilly here compared to the heat of the day, and I became aware that my nightshirt was ripped in several places, allowing the breeze to cool my skin. Stumbling along, I tried to concentrate; I’d had all these questions I’d intended to ask Nux now that there was no engine roar between us. But thinking was so hard in this state of exhaustion, and I found myself going slower and slower. Looking up, I saw that he was standing a little way ahead of me, waiting for me to catch up.  
“What’s this citadel like?” I asked breathlessly once I reached him. He started forward again, but slowly this time, matching my pace.   
“Centre of the world.” He answered, his voice low and thoughtful. “Only place with green and water for hundreds of klicks around.” He waved his hands expansively. “Lots of people, more than five thousand, all wanting to get to the top.”  
I glanced sidelong at him, but his face was lost in shadow, expression unreadable. I didn’t want to tell him I came from a place where a million people bumped shoulders, surrounded by enough greenery and water to make their lives lush and easy for generation after generation.  
“Why did you leave?” I questioned, taking advantage of the fact that he seemed more willing to talk tonight.  
Nux gave a quiet laugh. “To die historic on the Fury Road. I thought Joe would raise me up, take me to Valhalla.” He rubbed the back of his shaven head with one hand. “Didn’t quite work out like that.”  
“Why not?” I pursued, hoping that more information would make sense of what he’d just said.  
Even in the darkness I could see the glint of his eye as he turned to look at me, before looking quickly away.  
“Met a girl.” He said softly, gazing towards the horizon.  
I didn’t know what to say to that, especially since the words created a sinking sensation of disappointment within me. Damn, so much for that. I forced myself to listen objectively as he continued.  
“Her name’s Capable, she’s the shiniest person ever – hair like fire.” He sounded wistful and dreamy as we trudged along. “I traitored Joe for her.” Here his voice shook a little. “I died for her.” Suddenly he seemed very young and forlorn.  
Compassion overcoming jealousy, I reached out and touched his forearm with my fingertips, letting them fall until I clasped his hand. He squeezed mine in return, and we walked like that for a while in companionable silence.   
He’d certainly given me some cryptic clues to his past and our current situation. I found it odd that he talked as if I already knew every detail of the world he inhabited, as if that was all there was and I couldn’t possibly be from outside it. It depressed me to realise that if there was civilization past this wasteland, it was remote enough for Nux to have never even heard of it as a rumor.  
Walking became harder as the ground grew rougher; many small hills and trenches breaking up the flat monotony of the desert. The moon rose, a little rounder and brighter than the night before. Although our conversation had energised me for a time, my endurance was fading fast again. I let go of Nux’s hand and concentrated on my mantra again. One foot in front of the other, just keep putting one foot in front of the other. My stomach was tight with hunger, I kept gulping to try and ease my parched throat, and my legs felt weak and rubbery. It was hard to keep track of time but it seemed like the moon had travelled a long way across the sky since I last checked.  
I desperately wanted to ask Nux if we could take a break, but I was too shy to. He was trudging along, wrapped in his own thoughts. So I endured the rest of the night silently, walking until I felt half asleep on my feet, dreaming I was doomed to walk through never ending night, never ending desert. By the end of it, I may actually have been more asleep than awake, because I didn’t notice that he’d stopped until I stumbled into him.  
“What’s up?” I mumbled wearily, steadying myself against his arm.  
“Gotta get undercover ‘for that hits.” He explained, nodding towards the horizon. It suddenly seemed a lot nearer than before, the stars being swallowed by some deeper dark.  
“What is it?” I asked, squinting at the growing blot. A cold wind was picking up, and I shivered, brushing my hair out of my eyes.  
“Dust storm.” He answered curtly, looking around sharply. “Over there, let’s go.” He pointed to a half collapsed hill, a deep depression at the bottom of the side farthest from the storm. Once there he hunkered down, scooping more earth out around him. I crouched down, helping him create a large enough area for the two of us.  
“Won’t we get buried?” I said dubiously.   
He shook his head. “That’s not the problem. Getting picked up or flayed are.” Neither of these made much sense to me, but his obvious agitation made me scoop earth faster. Already the wind was gaining momentum, howling around us. Dust flew past us in long twisting streams, filling my nose and mouth with grit.  
He yelled something, but I couldn’t hear what it was until he grabbed me by my arm and pressed me into the earth, curling in a lanky ball around me. “Stay down!” He repeated. He had to scream in my ear to make himself heard, for the wind was truly epic now, flying dust stinging my skin with the speed of its passing.   
Dark chaos overtook us, and I curled tighter into a foetal ball, my knees digging into Nux’s chest, my face jammed into the hollow of his collar bone. I could feel his fingers like pincers in the flesh of my arms as he hugged me, his cheek pressed against the nape of my neck. Our mutual contact was the only solid point in this whirling, howling madness. I was more terrified than I’d been even when people had been throwing bombs at us while climbing; the elemental nature of this seemed to make escape or resistance futile. It seemed to go on forever, this howling stinging violence which made it impossible to even glance up. My hair was whipping around, striking my back like a cat o’ nine tails. It felt like the wind was grabbing at it with ethereal hands, trying to dislodge me from the ground.  Without any point of reference for time, I began to get a feeling of surreality, as if I’d been curled here surrounded by raging storm for days. The urge to look around me became overwhelming; I cautiously moved my head, twisting it so that I could see past Nux’s body.  
All I could see was dirty greyness, spinning particles of matter which defied any categorisation. At least it told me that it was now day. I shifted slightly, feeling Nux’s fingers grip me tighter as I did so.   
“How long?” I screamed, as close to his ear as I could get without moving. My voice was drowned by the storm, so it was no surprise he didn’t respond. Frustrated, I gave up, settling further against him and closing my eyes. At least we’re not walking, I told myself wryly.  
I never would’ve thought myself capable of falling asleep during that chaos, but I must’ve, because I came to with the sound of the wind greatly lessened. It was still there, blowing dust around in great curtains so that land and sky were obscured. But it lacked its earlier raging violence, and I no longer felt afraid of being sucked up into its depths. My knees were aching from being curled up for so long. Tentatively, I moved one leg a little, and gritted my teeth against a spasm of pain. I felt Nux stir next to me, his chest rising as he sighed awake. Suddenly conscious that I was basically sitting in his lap with his arms wound tightly around me, I placed my palms on his chest, trying to push myself away and create some distance between us. I didn’t get far though, because he was still holding me pretty tightly, and all that ended up happening was that I found myself eye to eye with him.   
There was a moment of silence, and I swear, you could cut the sexual tension with a knife. It wasn’t news to me that his eyes were a vivid shade of blue, but this close I could see the long dark lashes surrounding them, and the finely chiseled angles of his cheekbones. I blushed and averted my eyes, curling my fingers with embarrassment. I could feel the warmth of his skin against my legs, the weight of his arms around me. It was incredibly tempting just to go with the moment and see where it led, but something inside me was screaming one word warnings, like ‘girlfriend’ and ‘dangerous’, closely followed by the inner wail of ‘I want to go home!’.  
I raised my eyes to his again, intending to vocalise this last thought, but his head was already leaning forward, touching his scarred lips gently against mine.  
“Owww!” I shrieked, and sat up like a rocket, all flailing limbs. That had hurt, the mere pressure sending intense signals of pain from my battered lips to my brain. I covered my mouth with my hand, balling my fist against his chest. Even in the midst of this agony, his look of shock and consternation was vaguely and unreasonably satisfying. He loosened his hold, spilling me off his lap and into the dirt, while he pawed my arms frantically.  
“Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean to –“ He was gabbling. The puppy look was back in his eyes, but this time it was a puppy who didn’t know what it had done wrong, and was desperate to make amends.  
I rolled over onto my knees, covering my mouth with both hands. I could feel his palm on my back, but I was more taken with the fact that my hand came away red with blood, and my lip felt like it was on fire. I sobbed, but no tears came, I was too dehydrated. Nux forced my head up gently and pried my other hand away. His expression was guilt-ridden as he surveyed the damage.  
“Split your lip,” he said glumly, “happens sometimes when you get that dry and scraped out here.” He hung his head. “Sorry.”  
I nodded to show I understood and accepted the apology, too afraid to try and speak. My lip felt like it was swollen to twice its size, and I was revolted by the knowledge that the blood was a welcome sensation of liquid in my parched mouth. I could also see the small smear of blood I’d left streaking his face.  
His eyes lit up and his expression changed to one of eagerness. “Think I’ve got something that’ll help.” He mumbled, rooting around in one of his pockets. He drew out a small round object. “Don’t move.” He told me. I obeyed, eyes wide, while he lifted the object towards my mouth. There was a hiss, and a fine silvery spray hit my lips. It hurt like hell for a second, and then I felt this euphoric rush of warmth, so intense that I wanted to leap to my feet and, I don’t know, run a marathon or fight someone, or something.  
“What the bloody hell was that?!” I stuttered, scrambling to my feet. My lip didn’t hurt anymore, and I felt better than I had in days, but it was a strange twisted kind of better. “Did you just give me drugs?! Did you?” I felt an insane desire to punch him.


	6. Chapter 6

“Its just chrome.” He replied, puzzled by my reaction. “Smoothes the ride to Valhalla. Hey, what -?!”   
This last cry was because I had brought my foot down hard on his thigh as he knelt. He used his hands to fend off my next kick, which made me so angry that I spun on my heel and dashed away from him, into the whirling dust. My blood was fizzing and my brain felt like it was in overdrive; even if I hadn’t been so angry I would’ve found it impossible to stay still.  
I didn’t make it even ten paces before Nux caught up with me. He was smart enough not to try and reason with me, simply throwing me to the ground face down and straddling me, so that I couldn’t punch, kick or bite him.  
“I hate you, I hate this fucking place!” I screamed, clawing the ground in an effort to pull myself away from him.  
“It’ll wear off soon.” He commented amicably. “But screaming’s gonna bring buzzards down on us.”  
“Get off me you fucking crackhead.” I hissed through clenched teeth. But he was right; already the feeling of aggressive euphoria was dissipating, leaving me with an overwhelming feeling of depression and hopelessness. I let my forehead hit the ground, feeling all my numerous aches and pains return.  
Noticing the change in my attitude, Nux released me and helped me to stand. This was difficult, because I now felt even weaker than before, and he had to steady me with a hand around my waist as I took faltering steps back to the lee of the hillock. Feeling like I’d made a bit of a fool of myself, I avoided his eyes while we walked. The wind had died to a gentle breeze by the time I crawled into the shallow depression, pale sun breaking through the dusty fog.  
I groaned as I laid myself down and closed my eyes. My head was pounding, but that couldn’t shut out the sensation of guilt.  
“Sorry.” I said, eyes still closed. Its easier to apologise when you don’t have to look at the person’s face. “I didn’t mean it, well, not most of it. I do hate this place, but I wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for you.”  
I heard him slump down next to me. “Same here;  its all organic.” He paused long enough for me to wonder what on earth the word ‘organic’ meant in his world, because it didn’t seem to be the same as in mine.  
“Y’know, I wouldn’t…I’d never…” He continued haltingly before lapsing into silence. I opened one eye and glanced at him, but he was staring straight ahead, his brow furrowed. It took me a second to catch on that he was talking about our earlier attempt at intimacy.  
“I didn’t think you would.” I conceded, realising as I said it that this was the truth. You never really know with guys, but Nux had never struck me for a second as someone who would force himself on anyone. “Never mind. I’m thirsty.” Talking suddenly seemed too much effort.  
Sitting up, I raised the water pouch to my lips, trying to limit myself. My split lip throbbed unhappily, but at least the chrome stuff seemed to have stopped the bleeding. I could’ve drunk the whole thing, but I stopped, and passed it to him. He drank sparingly, and then shook the pouch. I could tell from its lightness in his hand that there wasn’t much left.  
It looked like if we didn’t find food and water soon, unresolved sexual tension would be the least of our worries. And with that grim thought, I dozed off.  
Someone was shaking me awake. For a moment, my old life was clear in my mind, and I tried to burrow deeper into soft blankets. But there were no blankets, only dust and grit. I shook myself, feeling my joints creak as I did. It was dark, and cold, and everything hurt. I sighed deeply, blinking with fatigue.  
“This is the last of it,” Nux told me as he pushed a tiny sliver of dried meat into my hands. I stared down at it numbly. Hunger gnawed at my stomach, but I was so tired, too tired to eat. Summoning my will to survive, I raised the meat to my lips and then dropped it again with a curse. My lip hurt too much to think about that. Trying again, I wedge it in the side of my mouth past my teeth. It took me ages to chew that tiny piece of meat, partially because I was too dehydrated to create much saliva.  
Afterwards, I drew my knees up and hugged them to my chest, letting my head rest on them. After a minute or so, I felt Nux’s hand on my back. He squatted close to me.  
“Show you something.” He whispered, taking my hand. I struggled to my feet, clinging to his arm. He pointed out over the desert. “See that?” He said. His voice was weary, but I could still detect a note of satisfaction in it.  
I squinted in the direction he had pointed, at first seeing only black land against inky sky, punctuated by glittering stars. But one of the stars seemed too low, as if it was winking over the ground. I turned to him questioningly.  
He nodded in response to my unspoken query. “Gastown. Means we’re close.”  
I raised my eyebrows. If that tiny pinprick of light was the sign of some town, it didn’t look particularly close. Luckily Nux was too caught up in the enthusiasm of his discovery to notice I was less than eager. “Nearly home! Oh, it’ll be so shiny to see Capable again!” he laughed, giving me a pat on the shoulder, before he took off at a brisk walk.  
I followed slower, every step agony. The foot bindings were basically ankle warmers at this point, and I could feel each rock and pebble. I limped along, trying to keep up, too numb to think about what would happen once we reached this Gastown place. High cirrus clouds obscured the rising moon, making it hard to see the uneven ground. I kept stubbing my toes against unseen rocks, until I was hopping and stumbling rather than really walking.  
By the time the moon cleared the clouds and was directly overhead, I was beginning to lose all sense of willpower to continue. Feeling my legs wobble dangerously, I stopped in frustration and weariness.  
“Hold on!” I called out to Nux. He stopped in his tracks and looked back at me. I tottered over to him, leaning on his arm. “I don’t think I can go any further, man. Can we rest a bit?” I pleaded, sliding to my knees.  
He knelt in front of me, pushing a lock of matted hair out of my eyes. I was still grasping his other arm, and I could feel the tension of his forearm muscles under the skin.  
“Rachel,” he started slowly – I’d forgotten I’d told him my name, and the murmur of it on his lips sounded odd to my ears, “we have no food, no water. We’ve got to keep going, or we’re gonna be too weak, end up dying in sight of salvation.” His voice was quiet and earnest, and I knew then that he was a lot more worried about making it to the Citadel than he’d been letting on.  
I nodded acceptance, my chest heaving as I cried without tears. He dragged me to my feet and enveloped me in a close hug.  
“Come on, you can do it.” He bent his head and whispered in my ear, before giving me a quick kiss on the neck. With my arms around him I realised I could now feel his ribs standing out, skin stretched taut over fading muscle. The privations of the last few days were affecting him too, but he wasn’t giving up, and still had patience and compassion enough for me. Chastened by this, I hugged him tighter and then pushed myself away, setting my jaw in determination.  
I started to walk in the direction of the twinkling light of Gastown, ignoring the stabbing pains in my feet and the misery of my body. One foot in front of the other, just put one foot in front of the other, I kept murmuring my favorite mantra under my breath. Nux walked in silence beside me, his gaze fixed on our goal.


	7. Chapter 7

The grey light of dawn was creeping over the landscape by the time the light of Gastown resolved itself into a tiny burning flame, topped by a thin tendril of greasy black smoke. Nux had altered our course a little over the course of the night, bearing right so that we walked parallel to the light rather than straight into it. As we had these last few mornings, he started to look around, searching for a safe place to spend the day.  
“I thought we weren’t going to stop.” I stated flatly, thirst making my voice hoarse and rasping.  
He didn’t answer until he’d found what he was looking for, a gully between two small hills, with a shallow cave in one side.  
“Gastown boys catch us, they’ll pike you in the spine, use you til you die.” He explained without emotion, as if it was an everyday fact of life – which apparently it was, in his world. I recoiled in horror at his words, feeling the adrenaline of pure terror rise in me. He didn’t see my reaction, concentrating as he was on descending into the gully.  
“Really?!” I asked tremulously.   
He turned and nodded, beckoning me over. “Really.” He said.  
“A…and the citadel? Will they do that to me there too?” I continued, climbing down after him. He shook his head, pulling me into the cave.  
“Don’t think so, not now Furiosa’s taking over.” He frowned. “At least, hope she’s taking over – she was pretty hurt last time I saw her.”  
I crawled in beside him, feeling more apprehensive about the future than I had in days. I’d been so focused on making it to this Citadel, that I’d just assumed everything would be wonderful once we got there. And now it was looking less than positive. I curled up next to Nux, trying to press the ravenous hunger in my belly into submission with my knees. Without preamble, he wrapped his arms around me and buried his face in the hollow between my neck and my collarbone. Carefully I stepped my feet over his bent legs until my thighs rested on his, my hands stroking his arms.  
“What about Capable?” I asked finally, after we’d been sitting this way for awhile. I was very conscious of his breath on my skin, his hand on my ribs.  
He lifted his head drowsily. “Huh? Oh, she’ll like you,” he said, yawning, “you’re shiny. And, you brought me back.” He added matter of factly, before settling his head back in its resting place on my neck.  
“That’s not what I mean.” I snorted, pinching his arm gently.  His arm twitched, and I knew I was keeping him from sleeping. “Won’t she be mad, like, that you’re so cuddly with me and all?”  
“Why?” his voice was muffled, and I could feel his lips moving against my skin. “I like her, I like you, what’s the problem?”  
I sighed, too tired to continue this baffling conversation. Maybe monogamy wasn’t a thing in this world. The words ‘pike you in the spine, use you til you die’ floated back to me, making me shiver. Nux shifted a little in his sleep, one hand sliding over my ribs. I blinked, feeling sleep steal over me in spite of my worries, and tipped my head until it rested on top of his, feeling the stubble of his scalp rough under my cheek.  
I woke first, the gnawing emptiness in my stomach impossible to ignore. My tongue was swollen from thirst and my skin felt taut over my bones. Hunger was making me dizzy and lightheaded as I shook Nux awake.  
“How much longer will it take us?” I whispered, my dry throat making it hard to talk louder.  
He rubbed sleep out of his eyes. I noticed the gauntness of his cheekbones, the startling glitter of his blue eyes, almost feverish.  
“Should reach it before day.” He muttered hoarsely.  
I peered out into the darkness as he rose and brushed past me. Shakily I followed him out, accepting his helping hand to climb the gully. Surprisingly, walking was easier for me this night, probably because I knew we were so close to our destination, and that only there would I find food and water. We angled away from Gastown, and before long I noticed a flat river of asphalt, straight as an arrow, to the left of us. We walked parallel to this; he seemed somewhat on edge, and kept glancing around him, and especially behind, where the road led back to Gastown.  
The moon was above us when I saw the first glimpse of it; a jutting mass that broke the line of the horizon.  
“Is that it?” I asked in a choked whisper, pointing ahead.  
Nux nodded, and I could see the faint gleam of his teeth as he turned his head and flashed me a smile. It was impossible to quicken our pace, but I felt a surge of energy fill me. So close, so close now.   
As we travelled closer, the solid mass gained definition, and I could see that it was not one, but three objects, too tall and massive to be buildings.  They looked more like mesas, those geological features so common to American deserts. They were festooned with tiny pinpricks of light. Foreboding and anticipation mixed within me at the sight of them.  
It seemed like we were inching closer at a snail’s pace, the only things moving in that empty desert, wrapped in night and silence. But imperceptibly we were drawing closer, and I began to understand how truly huge this Citadel was. Silhouettes of tiny structures, antenna towers, cranes and cables began to be clear, dark lines against the deep navy of the sky. Awestruck, I reached for Nux’s hand.  
“Lovely, isn’t it.” He said quietly, his eyes fixed ahead. I said nothing; for him this was a return home, but for me, who knew?  
The moon was low and night old when we reached the base of this fantastical place; I’d expected some sort of outer fortifications, maybe a surrounding wall or something, but the desert simply continued until it hit the tumbled rocks around the mesas, the road vanishing into a dark maw at the base of one. The big difference was the quality of sound; from the desolate silence of the desert, suddenly there were muted scufflings and murmurs ahead of us. The small flickering tongues of fires dotted the ground. People, there were people ahead of us, and the realisation set my heart beating faster with fear.  
We walked forward, and like a wave crashing on the beach, the sounds of life rose all around us, muted by sleep and darkness, but still overpowering after such long isolation. Above us the mesas of the citadel towered, mountains in their own right. I saw the silhouettes of many people against the orange glow, surely more than five thousand, I thought abstractedly. They seemed bent and twisted, huddling here and there around their fires, or sleeping sprawled in the dust. This was my first sight of ‘civilisation’ in Nux’s world, and it did not inspire confidence.  
There were whispers rising all around us, and I could see the shadows of people breaking away from their groups, following us. Scared, I squeezed Nux’s hand tighter, glancing around me like a hunted animal.  
“Is this safe?” I whispered to him out of the corner of my mouth. He laughed lightly, a spring in his step which I hadn’t seen since that first day when he was scavenging through the wreckage by the canyon’s end.  
“Yup, you’re with me.” He replied, and then looked around the gathering crowd. “Warboy, returning!” he yelled out without warning, making me jump.  
This had an instantaneous effect on the following crowd, and I could hear the whispers gaining strength around us. “A Warboy!” “One of Joe’s? One of ours?”  
“Are you with us or against us?” yelled someone out of the crowd. “Furiosa or Joe?” cried another. The muttering and murmuring had an ambiguous note, as if it could flip between adulation or hostility in an instant.  
“Furiosa!” yelled Nux, punching the air with his free hand. The murmurs grew louder, but now there was a tinge of welcome and relief in them. A ragged old man, all flying hair and dirty rags, like a white and brown dandelion, broke free of the surge of bodies. He clapped Nux on the back with his hand, toothless mouth grinning.  
“Welcome back, lad. Come to join the Liberator, have you? Good on ya; we need fighters.” He clasped Nux’s hand in both of his, and then disappeared back into the crowd as quickly as he’d left it.  
The crowd parted around us, letting us through until we stood in the shadow of the large rough cavern which seemed to be the entrance to one of the mesas. Its top was laced with girders and pipes, long cables hanging down. It seemed larger than the entrance to an aircraft hangar.  
 I was surprised by how old and decrepit the crowd all seemed, I couldn’t see any young adults or children. Not, that is, until I looked into the darkness of the entrance, and saw a few men, younger and in better shape than any of those outside. They all wore the same black cargo pants and boots that Nux did, but with the addition of what looked like hangman’s masks, and fingerless leather gloves. They carried long weapons, looking like a mixture between lances and scythes. They had the bored attitude that many nightwatch guards show.  
But they straightened up quickly when they saw Nux, and barred his way. Behind them I could see a steel gate across the entrance of the cavern, and behind it what looked like vehicles and heavy machinery, huge wheels and cogs grinding in the subdued light.


	8. Chapter 8

“Where y’going, Warboy?” one challenged, his voice harsh.  
“Need to see Furiosa,” answered Nux eagerly. “She knows me; I helped her on the war rig, helped her shred Joe.”  
The guard looked him up and down, ignoring me completely. I could understand how he might be a little cautious; now that I had someone to compare him to, I could see how skeletal and worn Nux must look; from his torso covered with scrapes and scratches to the sprouting fuzz of dark hair now covering his scalp and to a lesser extent his face (it had taken him days to even get a 5 o’clock shadow). But the guard’s eyes rested on the mass of intricate scarring on his chest and nodded.  
“V8.” He stated, as if this was some signal.  
“V8.” Nux nodded in reply.  
The guard scratched the neck of his black hood. “Alright, reckon you’re the real thing; still need to clear it with the boss. Name?” He walked to the wall and detached some kind of tube with a mouthpiece at the end of it.   
“Nux.” Answered Nux proudly, his back straight.  
The guard nodded, and spoke into the mouthpiece. “Boss? Boss?”   
There was a splutter of noise from it, and then a tinny voice said grumpily. “What is it y‘ bloody schlanger? I’m sleeping.”  
“Got a ripped up Warboy here; says he wants to speak to Furiosa. Looks like he’s walked clear back from Valhalla. Name’s Nux.”  
The mouthpiece exploded with a screech of static and curses, before becoming suddenly quiet. There were several minutes of silence, during which the guard looked over at us and shrugged, the universal language of an employee without much respect for those above him in the chain of command.  
Suddenly some kind of machinery whirred into life above us, a clanking and creaking of chains and gears. I looked up, and saw a large rectangle of metal descending, some kind of platform. Nux and I moved out of its way, and I watched as it lowered to the ground. More guards with weapons stood on it, and once the platform was level with our feet, they waved us on, keeping these weapons trained on Nux. I followed him on, still grasping his hand, trying to keep my balance as the platform jerked into life and the creaking chains raised it again.  
From my increasingly elevated position on the platform, I could see the sun rising off to the side, casting long shadows from the mesas, kindling the ground with red and gold light. The mesa opposite us had a massive skull cut into its rock face, it must’ve been several stories high, with the mouths of what looked like huge pipes coming out of the bottom of it. Cables and girders, bridges and cranes, all became clear and more detailed. The crowds below dwindled until they looked like ants, scurrying around with the break of day. Small figures moved on many levels of the mesas; the Citadel was waking up in earnest.  
Once we were level with the skull, which was more than half way up the mesa, the platform stopped, and we stepped off it into an even larger cavern, again with the same naked steel structures and scaffolding.   
A man with no hood and the same white painted skin that Nux had once had, waved us over.  
“Wait on the other side.” He said curtly, before motioning us over to what looked like a small and very rusted cable car.  
Nux was looking around him eagerly. The puppy was back, and if he’d had a tail, I think he would’ve been wagging it.  
“Never been this high before. “ he explained. “So much chrome!” He climbed into the cable car, which swung sharply in response. Feeling a little apprehensive, I joined him, sitting on patched and broken leather seats. The glass was gone from the windows, and the whole thing had an air of imminent dissolution. Nervously, I clutched the sides as it swung into operation, moving out of the cavern and into bright sunlight. The ground looked very far below, and I gulped each time the car swung, which was a lot, because Nux was busy leaning out of every window in turn, taking in all the sights.  
“Look at the gardens!” He pointed up. “Never seen ‘em so close; ain’t they green? So lovely.” He was beaming, blue eyes sparkling with excitement. I nodded uneasily, not releasing my death grip on one of the cable car’s inner structural poles. It was odd to see him so changed from the taciturn desert survivalist into this bouncing kid.  
It probably didn’t take all that long to reach the other side, but I was very relieved when the car swung into the darkness of another cavern, its darkness shot with shafts of sunlight coming from holes above. There was less machinery on this side, and the rock walls were hung with draped cloth, off-white in colour. Small gas flames burned in wall embrasures, and somewhere I could hear the tinkle of falling water.  
The sound of this brought back to me all the pains and needs of my body forcefully.  
“Water.” I mouthed in a cracked voice. Nux came out of the daze he seemed to be in, and nodded.  
“Oy,” he called to one the guards – there were guards here too, although they weren’t men. “Any water? We’ve been trekking desert with only dust to drink for days.”  
One of these female guards nodded silently, and moved off into one of the many alcoves which seemed to lead off this cavern. I watched her go; the first woman in this world I’d really seen. She was older and scrawny, dressed all in brown. She wore worn leather pants and jacket, biker boots. Earth coloured cloth fluttered around her shoulders, matching her tanned skin and short hair. Only her eyes stood out when she returned; shards of brilliant green in her lined face. And she was carrying water in a beaten metal mug, its shimmering surface reflecting sparks on her face and the surrounding walls.  
“Here y’go.” She offered it to Nux first, but he nodded his head towards me, and I took it eagerly, my hands shaking. It was the best thing I’d ever tasted, cool and clear. I drank deep and then handed it to Nux, who did the same. I was still licking wetness from my lips when she motioned us to sit on a stone bench cut out of the wall. Gratefully I sat down and leaned my back against rock; now that my thirst was dealt with, I could really feel how weak and tired I was. Nux was the opposite; he seemed to be calling up new reserves of energy in his excitement. He sat next to me, eyes shining, leaning his forearms on his knees.  
It seemed a long time there waiting, and I was half-asleep, even Nux’s energy seeming to fade, by the time we head footsteps echoing, coming in our direction. I and Nux looked around, and he jumped to his feet. Coming towards us were two of the most beautiful young women I’d ever seen in my life; visions of flowing white drapery and glossy hair. The taller of the two had great masses of hair the colour of flame, blue eyes vivid against the paleness of her skin, her lips rosebud pink. The shorter girl was mocha coloured with full red lips and short black hair, the delicacy of her bone structure very striking. She looked more serious than the other, and was carrying some kind of long rifle.   
As they drew closer, the redhead cried out joyfully, “Nux! Nux, how?! I thought you were dead!” She flung herself into his waiting arms, and started to sob. Even from here, sitting behind him, I could see the colour rise in his cheeks as he hugged her tightly. I sighed despondently. So much for that. Intellectually I’d known it was coming, but it still hurt. A lot.  
I was watching disconsolately as she covered his face and neck with kisses, when the small girl peeked around the side of them, her finely sculpted brows drawing together in a frown.  
“Who’s this?” she asked interrogatively, waving the rifle at me.  
Nux turned, disengaging himself partially from the redhead, who could only be the girl Capable he’d talked of before. His smile was warm as he reached for my hand and pulled me to my feet beside him. I was very aware of Capable’s eyes on me in that moment.  
“This is Rachel.” He said. “She brought me back, back from Valhalla.”  
I cringed inwardly; I’d been hoping he’d forgotten about the mysterious circumstances of our meeting, and I wasn’t at all sure it was a good idea for him to be telling anyone else about it.  
The two girls looked from him to me and back again, confusion in their lovely faces.


	9. Chapter 9

“What do you mean, she brought you back from Valhalla?” queried the dark girl incredulously.  
Nux shrugged. “I dunno; one moment I’m all broken up under the rig, heading for Valhalla fast, next thing I feel all this high octane fuel fillin’ me up, better than the best bloodbag ever. Crawl out from under, and she’s holding onto me.” He grinned at me and I blinked up at him, never having heard the experience from his viewpoint before.  
“That’s crazy talk, Nux –“ The short girl started with a snort, when Capable broke in urgently.  
“Toast, Toast, what if he’s right?” she hissed, grabbing the shorter girl by the shoulders. “He was dead, we all saw it! It’s worth a try, don’t you think?”  
Toast looked at me doubtfully, and I saw Nux’s expression change as he took in their conversation.  
“What’s up? Where’s Furiosa?” he demanded.  
“She’s still hurting, real bad.” said Capable sadly, “Able says its internal bleeding; there’s donors queuing up to be her bloodbag, but it never helps for long. We’ve tried everything.”  
Nux nodded eagerly. “She can do it, trust me. I was dead, and now look at me; she even got rid of Barry and Larry!”  
Toast shook her head. “This is just fumes; people don’t come back, no one comes back.” Her eyes misted with emotion. “Angharad hasn’t.” She turned to Nux. “Maybe you weren’t as badly hurt as you thought, right?”  
But Capable was inspecting Nux’s neck with a growing look of awe on her face.  
“He’s right,” she breathed, awestruck, “his tumors are gone. Not cut off, not lanced, just…gone.”  
I’d been listening to all this with a growing sense of alarm. Apart from the fact that I’d seemed to have no control over whatever had happened, and remembered how close to death I’d felt once this strange energy exchange had taken place, I didn’t like the idea of people I hardly knew making decisions about me as if I wasn’t even there.  
“Hold on a second,” I interjected angrily, “Even if I could, who says I will?”  
All three turned to me as if they were only just aware of my existence. I breathed deeply, eyes darting from one face to another. I realised that it was probably very unwise to antagonise these people; Nux had been my ally and companion in the desert, but now he was back in his own world, and I was the outsider. And the other two were complete strangers to me, but obviously high in whatever social hierarchy existed here.  
“Look, I’m not saying I won’t either,” I backtracked placatingly, “But I don’t really know how I did it. Please, I’m so hungry; can’t we talk about this after some food?” Hunger was now overwhelming me to the point where it was hard to think about anything else.  
Nux gulped, as if I’d reminded him how half-starved he was too. “Food would be good.” He agreed.  
Toast and Capable shared a look; Capable’s pleading and Toast frowning. Finally the smaller girl shook her head and said, “Ok, food first, then we’ll try this insanity.” She pointed an accusing finger at Capable. “But don’t tell anyone, we’re not getting her or anyone else’s hopes up over this nonsense.” She shot me a dirty look, and then spun on her heel, stalking off down the length of the cavern.  
Capable pulled Nux after her, and I limped along bringing up the rear, the thought of food making me salivate.  
We turned off into a corridor that led straight, many doors leading off it on either side. The only light came from the open doors on one side, and was periodically blocked by what seemed to be people moving about the rooms. To be honest, I wasn’t paying a lot of attention to my surroundings; my legs were so wobbly I had to concentrate on keeping up with the other three.  
Finally Toast turned into one of the rooms that weren’t on the light side; a large storeroom packed with canvas sacks and boxes. She lit the gas lamp with a brass lighter; it seemed incongruous to me that in the middle of this desert everything was gas lit, until I remembered that Gastown was just down the road.  
Toast and Capable rooted around while I slumped on the ground, leaning against a wall, Nux standing beside me. Within a matter of minutes they brought us dates, what turned out to be sun-dried tomatoes, and a big bag of macadamia nuts.   
“Didn’t think either of you’d want to wait for cooked food.” Toast explained, as she handed the bag of nuts to me. I grabbed them and scooped up a big handful, intending to shovel food into me as fast as I possibly could. Nux squatted down and took my wrist, stopping me.  
“Go slow or you’ll puke.” He advised. I nodded impatiently and stuffed the entire handful into my mouth. I must’ve looked like some deranged hamster as I sat there slowly chewing. He was right though, wolfing it down was easy, but the moment the first part hit my stomach I doubled over in cramps, a shuddering wave of nausea running through me.  
“Told ya.” He observed with satisfaction, slowly masticating a single date.  
Capable laughed, her arm interlocked with his. “Maybe we should’ve given you milk first.”  
Nux handed me a couple of dates; they were delicious, plump and juicy, a perfect counterpoint to the dry nuts. I grinned in bliss, feeling the stretching scab of my split lip. It seemed like the first time I’d smiled in a long time.  
I’d thought I would just be able to keep eating for hours, but I’d barely had two handfuls when my stomach began to feel increasingly full and bloated. And when I stopped eating, fatigue rolled over me in an unexpectedly intense wave. People talk about not being able to keep their eyes open, but for me it was literally true at that point; my eyelids felt as heavy as lead. With a sigh, I leaned back against the cool rock wall, ready to sleep right there.  
I was far along, floating off on a tide of sleep, when I dimly felt myself being picked up, and the sound of voices.  I came awake just enough to register I was hanging onto the bag of nuts grimly.  
“Are you sure you can make it? We can get someone else to carry her, you know.” Capable’s voice; was it just my imagination that it sounded tinged with irritation?  
“M’fine. Lead on.” The sound of Nux’s voice vibrated through me; it must be him carrying me then.   
“This way, it’s not far. We can put her in Miss Giddy’s room.” That was Toast; her voice echoing as if she was further away.  
Being carried was very lulling. I felt replete, and safe in Nux’s arms. Maybe he wasn’t going to drop me like a hot brick now that Capable was around after all. And with that thought, it wasn’t long before I drifted off gently into dreamless sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

I almost thought I was back home, in my real life, when I woke up, almost. I was lying in a bed, on a rather dilapidated spring mattress. The frame was iron, unpainted and rusty. It stood in a room which resembled a monk’s cell; hewn out of rock, it was barely big enough for the bed, with no window. One of the ubiquitous gas lights flickered in its wall embrasure, but the main source of light – sunshine - came from beyond the open door.  
I sat up, and felt my leg brush against the bag of macadamia nuts next to me. Sitting on the edge of the bed eating a handful of them, I wondered what to do next, and where Nux was. I also couldn’t help noticing that my nightshirt was crusted with dirt, my filthy legs almost the same colour. I snorted as a sudden remembrance bubbled up from my old life; psych 101. According to Mazlow’s hierarchy of needs, now that food, water and shelter seemed to be taken care of, it was time for me to get back a little self-esteem by thinking about my clothes and appearance.  
Once I’d finished eating, I stood up and cautiously left the room. The sudden change to sunlight had me blinking, as did the expansive interior I’d walked into. It was a large multileveled room with the ceiling and most of the upper walls being what had once been a glass dome. All the glass was gone now, and sunlight and light breezes streamed through the square frames of its structure. It was a very strange room; a massive chandelier with actual electrical lights hung from a ceiling cross beam, in one corner stood a grand piano, while off to another side was a large chalkboard with 5 chairs facing it in a line. On the floor was a large circular depression with a twisting channel leading off from it. Strange slogans written in chalk decorated the walls and floor: ‘we are not things’ and ‘our sons will not be warlords’. All in all, it was a little creepy.  
Not sure what to do with myself, I gravitated towards the piano and started hitting random keys softly. I couldn’t quite remember, but I didn’t think I could play. There was a splashing sound from the hidden upper level, and then the head and shoulders of a girl appeared over the stone balcony rim.  
“You’re awake!” said the girl. She was another beauty and very young looking, not yet out of her teens. Her long coiling hair was dark and glossy with water, her face round and sweet. Her skin was golden, with rose flushed cheeks and huge liquid dark eyes, almond shaped. She rested her chin on the stone balcony and gave me a shy smile.  
“You slept all day,” she pointed out, “you want a bath? I just finished, but the water’s still good.” She beckoned me up. Feeling like a bath would be the best thing in the world right now, I glanced around for a way to get up, and saw some curving stone stairs. I tripped up them to the long stone floored balcony. A large brass bath, sans plumbing, rested there. Beside it was a long coiled hose which disappeared into the wall.  
The pretty teenager looked up from adjusting her trailing white garments, flicking her wet hair over her shoulder. She was taller than me, and very slim, in a coltish, healthy kind of way. She looked me up and down critically.  
“You’re filthy.” She stated, wrinkling her nose. “We might need more water. I’m Cheedo by the way. What’s your name again? They told me, but I can’t remember.” She finished bashfully, reaching down for a strip of brightly coloured cloth. She tied this around her temples as a headband, its strong colours and geometric patterns contrasting with her diaphanous white clothing. It accentuated the almond shape of her eyes, making her look like some Native Indian supermodel.  
“Rachel.” I muttered, feeling a bit tongue-tied. Was every female here preternaturally lovely? I stared down at my scraped and blistered legs, scrawny after so many days with little or no food. Sighing with a feeling of woeful inadequacy, I stepped over to the bath, and dispensing with modesty, pulled my nightshirt over my head in one movement.  
Cheedo gazed at the nightshirt darkly. “We should burn that.” She announced firmly. “Glory be, you’re skinny! Get in and I’ll find you some clothes.” With that she skipped down the stairs, moving with almost balletic grace.  
Gingerly I lowered myself into the water; it was cold but the coolness was refreshing. The tub was large enough for me to submerge my head if I bent my knees right up, and I did so gratefully, relishing the calming sensation of water covering my head. Holding my breath, I opened my eyes under water, staring up at the shifting refraction of the sunlight, the blood pounding in my ears. Maybe this wasn’t home, or even true civilization, but it was a hell of a lot better than tramping through the desert endlessly.  
A shadow loomed over me and I sat up quickly. Cheedo was back, carrying an armful of the white drapery these women seemed so fond of. She gasped when she saw the colour of the water, dumped the white cloth in a pile on the floor, and then tossed what turned out to be a small bar of soap at me. Shaking her head wordlessly, she produced another bar of soap and started to lather my matted hair with it.  
“This stuff’s rarer than gold, but I think you need it.” She giggled disarmingly and I wondered how old she actually was.  
The water was dark brown when I stepped out of the bath. She motioned me to stand over a grate and hosed me down thoroughly, before indicating I should help her pour the bath water down the grate too. There seemed to be no towels, but my body dried pretty quickly in the heat of the day, and the white cloth was quite absorbent.   
She had to help me wind it around and fasten it in great knots, so that I ended up with some kind of makeshift halter top and calf length wrap skirt. While she was doing this, I really noticed how sunken my belly had become, how skeletal my arms were. I had a dim visual memory of being much plumper in my old life. Turns out starvation and wandering through desert for days are better than the best Hollywood diet regime.   
I was still lost in thought, turning my arms over and back to look at the jutting bones of my wrists, when I felt a sharp tug at the back of my head.   
“Oww!” I hissed, grabbing my hair.  
“Sorry!” I heard Cheedo stifling another giggle from behind me. “I can cut it off if you want, but it’s such a pretty colour, let’s try brushing first.” The pulling agony started again, while I clenched my fists and tried to stop my head jerking back with each tug. It felt like she was pulling my hair out at the roots, and my suspicions were half confirmed when she stepped back to survey her handiwork, and I saw the brush full of white strands.  
Hold on a second, white strands? I searched my fragmented memory, trying to determine how old I was. I was pretty sure I was an adult, and also pretty confident that I wasn’t old enough to be having white hair. I closed my eyes, concentrating on calling up a visual of myself. It was hard, and the most I could arrive at was the feeling that I’d been one of those unfortunates gifted with that mousey colour which can either seem dirty blonde or light brown, depending on the light.   
I was grabbing locks of my hair and holding them up in front of my face, with Cheedo looking on in confusion, when I heard footsteps below.  
“Hellooo?” Called out Capable’s voice.  
Cheedo clapped her hands happily, and dashed down the steps. I heard her voice drifting up from below, “You won’t believe it Capable, I fixed her up real good; she’s shiny now!”  
Feeling a little awkward, and still a bit stunned by the hair colour change (could it be due to shock? Or maybe this weird energy exchange thing?) I picked my way carefully down the stairs. I stopped about halfway down and stood frozen.  
At the bottom of the stairs stood Cheedo, Capable and Nux.   
“Tadaaa!” Cheedo was waving at me like some proud post-apocalyptic gameshow hostess, while Capable and Nux stood there staring with their mouths open.  
“Shiny.” Breathed Nux, and then cocked his head to one side, dark brows drawing down in a frown. I noticed that he was also a lot cleaner and his head and face were newly shaved. Thankfully Capable seemed to have convinced him to forego the white body paint though, he looked a lot better without it.  
“Your hair, was it always like that?” he asked.  
I shrugged non-committally, not willing to discuss it right then.  
Capable touched his arm, a solemn look on her face now that she’d gotten over the shock of my transformation. “It doesn’t matter; Rachel, we need to talk.”


	11. Chapter 11

“Ok.” I said apprehensively. In my experience, nothing good ever came of the words ‘we need to talk’. I stepped down the last of the stairs to join the three at the bottom.  
With a graceful movement, Capable sat down in one of the chairs; the rest of us followed her lead, pulling them around so that we sat in a loose circle.  
“We told her about you,” she looked at me. “Of course, she doesn’t believe it. But she trusts Nux, so she’ll let you try.”  
I glanced at Nux, who was nodding eagerly. Thanks a lot, my inner voice berated him. Whether it worked or not, it seemed like a bit of a no-win situation for me.  
Cheedo eyes were darting around the group curiously. “What’s going on?” she asked Capable suddenly.  
Capable gestured towards me. “Nux thinks Rachel can fix her – Furiosa, I mean.”  
Cheedo clasped her hands together between her knees, her eyes sparkling. “What, like the Organic Mechanic?”   
“No, no, better’n that!” broke in Nux.  
Capable put her finger to her lip and looked upwards thoughtfully. “More like a faith healer I think. You know, like Miss Giddy used to tell stories about.” She fixed me with a penetrating gaze. I’d thought her a bit of a silly girl earlier when she was all over Nux, but she seemed a lot calmer and more practical now.    
Again, I was getting the feeling that it was being assumed I could and would do this, but I didn’t want to disappoint Nux, or forfeit the goodwill of these women. I toyed with one edge of my wrap skirt, trying to think what best to say.  
“I don’t really know how it works.” I started slowly. “It just seems to happen sometimes. I’m not sure I can do it on command. And it hurts me.” I added, glancing at Nux. “I thought I was going to die when it happened with Nux.”  
Capable’s brow furrowed and she clasped one knee in both hands, swinging her lower leg thoughtfully. The other two looked at her respectfully. “Can you describe it?”  
I grimaced, remembering. “I touched his hand and it felt like it was glued there, and then everything just sort of started draining out of me.” I finished lamely, and then recalled the scav I’d killed. “But it goes the other way too.”  
Nux gave me a sharp glance, and I shrugged apologetically.   
“I forgot about it sorry, things were a bit chaotic. When those…scavs? attacked you, I tried to trip one, and touched his leg, and, well, I think I killed him.”  
Capable sat up straighter, her blue eyes glowing. “Right, so that helps.” She started ticking off points on her fingers. “First, we know you need skin contact. Second, it can go both ways.” She stopped, and then asked me curiously, “Did you want to save Nux?”  
I shook my head. “I just felt sorry for him,” I cast him a sad look, “I thought I was comforting someone who was dying.”  
Nux smiled back at me. “You did, and more.” He reached out, and touched the back of my hand gently with his fingertips.  
Capable looked from me to him and back again, but her solemn expression didn’t change. “Soo,” she said slowly, “intent sort of matters? It’s never happened again when you’ve touched him?”  
I shook my head, chilled a little by the sudden thought that I might’ve drained the life out of him again during our desert journey.  
As if her mind were made up, Capable got to her feet, tossing her red hair so that it shimmered in the sunlight. I saw Nux looking up at her with something close to adulation, and felt that same tightening of disappointment in my chest. She put her hands on her hips and stared down at me.  
“I have an idea.” She fiddled with a lock of her hair while she spoke. “You need to do two things; touch her, and want to heal her. Want it as much as you can.” She smiled suddenly. “I know you’re afraid, but we can help with that.” She gestured to Nux and Cheedo.  
My mouth closed in a tight line, but I said nothing. I hadn’t thought it was obvious that I was so reluctant.  
“We’ll hang on to you while you’re doing it.” She continued. “That way we can drag you off before it gets too much, and maybe you can take some…” she paused, searching for the right word, “life? Energy? From us, while you’re giving.”  
I felt a slow smile spreading over my face. She was smart as well as beautiful, and now I could see more why she had the name she did. I nodded my approval.  
Suddenly Cheedo broke in. “What if it doesn’t work?” she asked.  
Nux shrugged before answering her question. “Wasted some of her time then, that’s all.” He stood up and pulled me up after him with a hand under my elbow. I caught Capable’s eye and glanced away, slightly embarrassed. Nux seemed to be completely oblivious to the awkwardness he was creating between me and Capable.  
Cheedo bounced to her feet, almost dancing in anticipation. “Let’s go, let’s go!” she urged. “This is so exciting!” She dashed away and stopped by the open door. For the first time I saw that it was massive and round, made of metal. It looked for all the world like the door to a bank vault.  
Nux, Capable and I followed Cheedo as she trotted through another very strange room; it had the same open concept ceiling but the entire interior was hung with a complicated system of vertical plant holders, strung one on top of the other, so that they looked like huge window blinds made of vegetation. They were constantly being rotated by some unseen machinery creaking out of sight. A fine mist of water sprayed over them once they reached the top, before they continued on their downward path around the room.  
Looking around me in wonder, I lagged behind a little bit, and had to run to catch up as the others left this room. We came out directly into another adjoining area; a round room with one wall mostly open to the air, a large crude stone throne sitting in front of it, facing outwards.   
Around the edges of the room ran a continuous stone bench, with large glass containers hanging from the walls, long tubes running down from them. In the centre of this room was a large circular bowl shaped structure, filled to the brim with churning water. It was bigger than a generously sized hot tub. Sitting on the stone seat which surrounded this structure was a massive woman, trailing her fingers dreamily in the water. She was the epitome of a mother goddess, all boobs, belly and bum. Her skin was dark olive, her black hair thick and luxurious, trailing to her waist. She was clad in the same trailing white cloth that Cheedo, Capable, Toast and now I wore.  
At first I thought this must be Furiosa, but my companions merely nodded to her and kept moving. Her languid dark eyes followed us as we passed, a slight smile twitching the corners of her lips.  
We entered another adjoining room, one that had a massive bay window as one wall. It also had a throne hewn out of rock, but one that faced inwards. In this seat sat a woman, surrounded by other women of various ages and appearance. They ranged from mother goddess types wearing diaphanous white to older ones resembling the brown warrior woman I’d seen much earlier. But they all had one thing in common; they looked towards the woman on the throne with deference as we entered.  
This woman captured my attention instantly; there was something about her which made her the focal point of the room. She was long-legged and wiry, sprawled there in the seat. She had a buzz cut, not quite as close shaven as Nux’s, and the fuzz on her scalp was dark blonde. Her clothing was that of someone active; tight brown trousers, black motorcycle boots and some kind of white sleeveless top cinched by a faded black leather bustier with lots of belts and buckles.   
One hand gripped the armrest of the throne, but her other arm ended in a stump halfway down the forearm. Her eyes were the most intense I’d ever seen; blue like many of the people in this world, but with a piercing quality which transfixed me the moment they turned in my direction. Tall and androgynously dressed as she was, her face was beautiful in its femininity, the harshness of its expression only accentuating the delicate angles of her bones and the rose of her lips.  
But it was obvious at first sight that she was in a bad way; her skin had a waxy pallor and her rose lips were tinged with blue, great dark circles surrounding her lovely eyes.  
“You must be Rachel,” her voice held the tones of someone accustomed to command, but with a bitterly wry undertone, “here to bring me back to full-life.”


	12. Chapter 12

I flinched inside at the weary disdain in her words, but I couldn’t really blame her. I wouldn’t have believed it myself if I hadn’t done it. I inclined my head in a small bow of respect, not sure what to do next. Solving the problem for me, Nux took my hand and led me to stand close in front of her.  
“She can do it, Furiosa.” He said seriously, “Look at me.” He tapped his chest with his fingers.  
The woman they called Furiosa tilted her head to one side and fixed him with an intense stare. After a moment, she shook her head and closed her eyes, leaning back in the chair.  
“Fang it.” She commanded wearily. I glanced at Nux in confusion. He motioned me to take her hand.  
I looked around the room, feeling everyone’s eyes on me. It was horrible, like those dreams where you go to school naked or something. Then Capable and Cheedo stepped forward with smiles on their faces, and I felt less alone. I nodded and they and Nux placed their hands on my arms and shoulders.  
I took Furiosa’s hand gently, surprised by how cold it was. You have to really want to, Capable had said. I closed my eyes and let my head fall forward, breathing deep. I thought about how much this meant to Nux, about how important this woman was to these people.   
A sudden vision filled the dark space behind my eyelids; an interlocking web of bright strands of energy, connecting us all through touch. One more quiet breath and then I felt it, as if I were a magnet and she was an ingot of pure iron. It’s hard to describe, but I felt like we weren’t really separate anymore, as if our atoms were mingling. The feeling of being drained started to take hold, the life pouring out of me and into her. It started slowly, increasing in speed and intensity. I felt my body shudder, and the coldness spread out from my heart.   
Abruptly, new sensations impinged on my awareness; the feeling of energy incoming from the trio who touched me. It wasn’t as intense as the draining, but it did manage to offset it a little, allowing me to keep my feet and stop the rising panic. But it wasn’t enough, and soon I was seeing black spots floating in front of my eyes, feeling my legs collapse beneath me. I dropped to the floor, breaking contact. My last thought before passing out was that I’d failed.  
I can’t have been out for very long, because I was still lying on the floor when I woke, a circle of faces above me. They were etched in red from the setting sun, and I instinctively cringed away from them. A reassuring hand touched my shoulder, and helped me up to sitting. I looked around, and saw it was Nux, grinning at me.  
“I’m sorry.” I said plaintively, still feeling the sting of failure. He frowned in confusion, and from behind me I heard a low chuckle. I twisted, craning my neck, and looked up to see Furiosa standing above me.  
She had her one hand on her hip as she stared down at me, and her blue eyes flashed. The change in her was staggering; no more listless pallor, instead she radiated vital energy, cheeks glowing.  So maybe I hadn’t failed after all.  
“It worked?” I whispered questioningly, feeling a sense of real awe.  
Furiosa nodded with a smile and offered me her hand to stand up. I stood there in front of her, feeling a bit dazed by the whole episode. During my desert journey I’d done my best to forget about the whole mysterious energy thing which had brought Nux to me. But now there was no denying it, and that scared me more than a little. Some of my worst fears were confirmed when I heard Furiosa’s next words.  
“Thank you. How soon can you do this again?”  
I did a double-take, eyes widening. She couldn’t be serious, could she? It certainly didn’t look like she needed any more juice. I rocked on my heels, wishing I could just go to bed.  
“I need sleep.” I pointed out, trying to keep irritation out of my voice.  
Furiosa nodded again, her mouth in a tight line. “I can see that,” she countered, “but I’m going to need you to do this again tomorrow, more than once. Do you think you can do that?”  
I glanced around at Nux and Capable, who I felt were my main allies at the moment. “I don’t understand.” I said, hating the whine that crept into my voice.  
Furiosa rubbed her buzzcut with her lone hand.  “Not for me. Has anyone told you the situation here?”  
I shook my head, feeling my spirits sink.  
She sighed, and paused, as if it pained her to talk about it. “Then sleep. Rest now and we’ll talk tomorrow.” She turned away from me and started talking to one of the older warrior women about inventory and supplies.  
I wasn’t really listening at that point, understanding that I’d been dismissed. The whole thing had been very disorientating for me, and still draining, even though Nux and the girls had done their best to help. With the help of Nux’s arm around my waist, and Capable leading, I found myself stumbling back through the strange rooms, dark now that the sun had set. The only light was flickering gas, magnifying shadows in a way which made everything seem dreamlike and surreal.   
As I walked slowly, I found myself going over what had happened. I now knew that this strange power, gift or curse – I couldn’t quite decide, was more or less under my control. But I didn’t feel like Furiosa had responded with the same sense of awe or gratitude that Nux had; on the contrary, she seemed to take it very pragmatically, even after her initial disbelief. I hadn’t expected to be treated like a messiah, but the complete normalcy which with she’d treated things was a trifle disappointing.  
I was so caught up in my resentful and depressed thoughts that I didn’t notice until we’d arrived back at my monk’s cell. I expected Nux and Capable to leave me there, but unexpectedly Capable left the room, with a slight wave goodbye. Nux helped me to the bed, and I sat down wearily, with a sigh of relief. As I swung my legs up and lay down, my legs hit the bag of nuts, and I picked at them listlessly, not really feeling up to eating.  
Nux sat down on the edge of the bed. I raised my eyebrows curiously, too busy chewing to talk.  
“That was so chrome, I knew you could do it.” He said. I waved my hand dismissively, as if to say it was nothing, although it did warm me inside to have at least a little recognition. He sat there for a minute, taking a few nuts, while I finished chewing. It felt awkward, but only because I’d expected him to leave with Capable.  
“You going to be ok?” he said finally, and from his tone, I could tell he felt a little awkward too.  
I nodded, and was surprised when he took my hand in both of his. “Do you want me to stay with you, tonight?” There was a puppy look of entreaty in his eyes.  
I narrowed my eyes. “What about Capable?” I said flatly. I didn’t like where this conversation was headed, and I felt way too tired to deal with drama.  
He shrugged. “It’s organic.” He frowned, and I could see worry in his eyes. “Didn’t know it would hurt you so much to help Furiosa. Don’t want to leave you alone.”  
Touched, I used his arm to pull myself up to sitting, and hugged him tight, burying my head against his chest. He hugged me back, and I felt his long fingers stroking my hair. His chest was very warm. I felt desire rise in me for just a second, before fatigue overwhelmed it. I yawned against his body and slumped against him.  
“I’m tired.” I said flatly. “I just need to sleep.”  
“No worries, I’m tired too.” He pushed me gently to one side of the bed and then shifted around until he was lying next to me, his boots resting on the footpost. The bed was only just large enough to accommodate us both, but quite apart from that, I was a bit unnerved by this sudden development. I gazed down at him, not sure what to do, and then yawned again. Oh well, screw it. I was too tired to deal with it, and it was actually pretty comforting to lie next to him, feeling his arm around me. I rested my head on his chest and closed my eyes.  
 I just hoped Capable wouldn’t hate me for it, although as far as I was concerned, nothing was going to happen –not tonight at any rate.


	13. Chapter 13

It was still dark when I woke up, only faint moonlight shining through the open door. Nux was lying on his back, snoring slightly in his sleep. He was also taking up most of the bed, and resisted my gentle attempts to push him over a little, even when I used my feet. Caught between frustration and affection, I inclined my head towards his and touched his lips with my own, trying not to wake him. I could feel the texture of his scars, creating an odd sensation. The arm holding me tightened, and I saw the flicker of his eyelashes as I disturbed his sleep. Feeling slightly chastened by what could be considered pretty inappropriate behavior on my part, I pulled back, and saw the glint of his half opened eyes, bleary with sleep. I opened my mouth slightly to whisper an apology, but before I could, he had lifted his head just enough to renew the contact of our lips. He caught my lower lip gently between his, and the sensation of that pressure was a jolt of pleasure rushing to my heart. We kissed like that slowly, dreamily, the feeling of his lips sliding over mine kindling desire. I was very conscious of his hand stroking my back, my body pressed against his chest, the faint scent of his sweat - so intoxicatingly male.  
After a couple of minutes of this, feelings of guilt began to impinge, and I broke contact to look him in the eye. I was about to ask the same question I seemed to ask a lot, ‘what about Capable’, but he got there first.  
“No sex,” he whispered, managing to make it sound like the most desirable denial ever. “Capable says she won’t have sex with me if I do it with you.”  
I smiled ruefully, “Fair enough.” I didn’t trust myself to say more unless I started trying to convince him otherwise.  
I’d expected that to be the end of it, but instead he kissed me again, and I found myself melting into him, my heart rate increasing. In a heroic attempt to do the right thing, I sat up suddenly, feeling his hand trailing down my back.  
“Ok, now you’re just being a tease.” I told him, supporting myself with my palms on his chest, fingers toying with his raised scars.  
“T’s not sex,” he muttered indistinctly. I raised my eyebrows and shook my head.  
“I think Capable would say that’s splitting hairs.” I pointed out.  
Nux sighed with what sounded like frustration. After a second he said explosively, “I don’t understand. She says we’re not things, but she says she won’t share me,” he frowned and then continued in a lower voice, sounding thoughtful, “she says if I love her I’ll only want sex with her. I do love her, I really do, she’s so shiny.” Here he stopped and stroked my cheek, “just don’t see why I can’t love or have sex with you, or anyone else. She always says she loves Furiosa and the others, but it don’t stop her loving me.”  
He broke off from what was probably the longest speech I’d ever heard him give, and pulled me down into a hug. I hugged him back and buried my face against his neck, feeling passion replaced by tenderness. I sighed, wondering how the hell to explain monogamy to someone to whom it seemed an entirely foreign concept.  
“How would you feel if she slept- had sex - with one of the War Boys?” I broached carefully, running my fingers idly over the scarification on his chest.  
Nux shrugged. “As long as they didn’t hurt her.” It’s easy to say that, but he genuinely seemed not to be bothered by the idea.  
“And if she decided after she wanted to only have sex with them instead of you?’  
He frowned. “Be sad then, but I don’t own her. She’s not a thing.”  
I banged my head against his collarbone a couple of times in vexation. In my opinion, this conversation was going nowhere, and it seemed a bit unfair that I was having to deal with it, and not Capable. A sudden thought struck me.  
“So how come she’s ok with you sleeping here tonight then?” I asked curiously.  
“Promised no sex,” I could hear the pride in Nux’s voice at this, “she knows I won’t if I promise. And,” he added, “she knows I was worried ‘bout you.”  
I sighed. “Well, let’s make sure you keep your promise then.” Damn Capable for being so trusting and understanding; it made it impossible for me to ignore her feelings in this situation. The next sigh turned into a yawn, and I snuggled further into his arms, feeling sleep stealing over me.  
“I still want to though.” I heard his whisper; not the words of someone about to tear my clothes off, more filled with regret and a sense of loss.  
“Go to sleep.” I mumbled.  
The next thing I knew, bright sunlight was streaming through the door to the room. I turned over onto my back, blinking and rubbing my eyes. Nux was sitting on the edge of the bed, eating some very squashed dates which looked like they’d been kept in his pocket since we’d arrived at the Citadel. I accepted a couple of these and sat next to him, wondering while I did so if anyone in this place ever ate actual real meals.  
Afterwards, we went into the main domed room.  Cheedo was sitting in front of the piano. With the lid down she was using it as a table, drawing something on a large yellowed piece of paper with coloured chalks. She was humming to herself, dark hair falling in curtains around her face, looking very childlike. She looked up as we entered.  
“Furiosa wants you in the throne room, you’d better hurry.” She commented amicably, before returning to her drawing.  
We left her there, passing through those strange rooms again, until we got to the room with the bay wall and large stone throne. Furiosa was there, not sitting in the throne, but standing over a long stone table with what looked like a map spread out on it. She was pointing to various features on it for the benefit of the only two other people there; the small girl Toast and an imposing woman warrior. This woman was almost as tall as Furiosa, with long thick black hair and a similar attitude of command. She was dressed in the same brown leathers the other warrior women wore, with a long rifle slung over her back.  
It took a moment for them to realise we were there, but when they did, Furiosa looked up with a smile.  
“Good,” she said to me warmly, her tone much more welcoming than the day before, “You look much better.” She gave a small laugh, “And so do I, thanks to you.”   
I found myself smiling in return, her warmth infectious. Toast nodded to me, and I saw new found respect in her eyes.  
“Now, down to business.” Stated Furiosa, fixing those piercing blue eyes on me. “Forgive me for yesterday, but we’re in the middle of a crisis here. We may have taken this Citadel, but holding it is another matter.”   
She rubbed the fuzz of her short blonde hair with her hand thoughtfully. “Immortan Joe was boss here for a long time,” she began. “I killed him and shredded his War Boys. But that don’t mean they’re all gone; maybe half of them’re working their way round the mountains now the pass is closed, and there’s still men enough in Gastown and Bullet Farm for an army. We’ve got maybe a week ‘til they get back. With no leader, maybe another week ‘fore they get organised. Then they’re going to come gunning for us, looking to take back this place.” Furiosa paused, and scowled, her eyes flashing with anger.  
“I need fighters. And all I’ve got is a mob of elder Wretched, just over a hundred half-life War Boys too sick to do war, and some guards who’ll shout for us if it looks like we’re winning, maybe open the gates to Joe’s old boys if it looks like we’re not, I don’t know. The only ones I can trust are the women, and precious few of them are trained.” Here she put her head up, every inch the commanding military leader. Her gaze towards me was imperious, and I felt myself shrink inside a little.  
“I want you to heal those War Boys. Joe promised them Valhalla, but you can give them full-life. Then they’ll fight for us, then we’ll have their loyalty.”


	14. Chapter 14

There was a long drawn out silence after she said this. All eyes were on me, and I knew I was expected to say something. But I couldn’t. My inner thoughts were a battleground, going round and round trying to figure out what I should say. I was angry, and scared, and also horribly aware of how much my continued existence depended on giving the right answer.  
Finally I asked slowly, knowing that it was probably the wrong thing entirely, but unable to keep quiet, “Suppose I can do this, isn’t it a bit shitty to heal someone just so they can go and die for you in a fight?”  
Furiosa leaned on the table, looking at me sidelong, her head inclining in the barest of nods. “That is a thought I’ve had myself. But I think Nux will agree that dying historic’s better than dying soft and sick, and this way they’ve a chance for full life after.”  
I looked at Nux, who nodded solemnly, fingering the spot between his neck and his collarbone where the mysterious Larry and Barry had once lived.  
“And why should I? It hurt just to heal you, I don’t even know what trying to do it for a hundred will do to me!” I argued belligerently, tired of feeling like I was only here because I was useful.  
“Because if we lose, you’d better wish you were dead.” Snapped Toast, shaking with suppressed emotion. I stared at her curiously; her reaction seemed overkill, but it called up the sudden memory of Nux making us hide from Gastown. His words ‘pike you in the spine, use you til you die’ floated back to me once more, and I shivered.  
“Ok, I see your point.” I conceded, “But I want something for doing this – trying to, anyway.” I corrected.  
The tall warrior woman snorted and looked at me disdainfully. Furiosa smiled a small and bitter smile. “What?” She asked flatly.  
I took a deep breath. “I want to go home. I don’t belong here, wherever here is. I want to go home, and that means going back to that canyon. I can’t go alone.”  
Furiosa glanced questioningly at Nux and then back at me. “You’re a rock rider – scav?” she asked.  
“No,” I shook my head, “I’m from somewhere else. I don’t know how I got here, but the wreckage was the first thing I saw, so maybe there’s some way back from there. That’s all I want, just to go home.”  
Furiosa frowned and nodded thoughtfully, rubbing her scalp with her hand, a habit I was already beginning to recognise. “That’s fair. Won’t happen til after we win – if we do – but we’ll give you an escort back there, keep the scavs off you long enough for you to recon the area.”  
She looked up at me and smiled, stretching out her one hand. “Deal?”  
Tentatively I reached out and clasped it. “Deal.” I confirmed cautiously. I still wasn’t entirely convinced her plan was going to work. “How do you know these War Boys will be grateful enough?” I questioned doubtfully, biting my tongue on the additional ‘you weren’t’ that sprang to my mind.  
Nux made a strange sign with his hands, almost like he was praying, but with his arms above his bowed head. “I live, I die, I live again.” He stated enigmatically. Then he dropped his hands to his sides and grinned at me. “War Boys’re trained from pups to believe Joe’d give them that. Won’t be a stretch for ‘em to believe in Imperator Furiosa once you show ‘em it’s for real.”  
I shook my head with a sigh, not feeling very good about the idea of playing god. “This still doesn’t seem very ethical.” I pointed out unhappily.  
The tall woman dressed in brown shrugged. “More so than letting them die.” Her voice was soft and even.  
Furiosa nodded in agreement. “It’ll give them a chance at life, and us too.”  
I sighed and hugged myself. I felt trapped by the situation; even though nominally I could say no, it was obvious to me that my survival was now tied up with these people.  
Furiosa took this as compliance, for she touched my shoulder reassuringly. “Let’s get started.” She said, and then turned to Nux and Toast. “Not you two; Nux, it’s too soon, you’ll get them angry.”  
Nux nodded glumly. “Nux the Traitor.” He sighed.  
“Go to the mech shop; see if you can’t get my new arm finished quicker.” Furiosa ordered. Nux nodded happily and trotted off. I felt my heart sink seeing him go.  
“And me?” asked Toast.  
“Help Capable with the inventory; we need to know how long we can hold off a siege. I need it finished by tonight.” Furiosa narrowed her eyes. “And get Cheedo to help you too; she’s been lounging around since we got back. I know she’s just a kid, but she needs to pull her weight.”  
Toast nodded seriously and walked out of the room, her diaphanous white garments contrasting strangely with the long rifle banging against the back of her slim legs.  
“Me and Valkyrie will take you to the organic repair shop; Able and Rhea are already there.” Furiosa stated matter of factly.  
Now it was my turn to nod at her orders. I fervently wished Nux was still with us; he was still the only one I really trusted out of all of them. Feeling very apprehensive, I followed Furiosa out of a door on the other side of the room, with Valkyrie bringing up the rear. We walked down a twisting network of dark stone corridors, which opened out into the cable car room where I’d waited with Nux for Toast and Capable, so long ago it seemed now.  
“I need a drink.” I said, when I heard the tinkle of the water echoing around the walls. Furiosa indicated an alcove, and I darted in there. It was very small, no more than a circle carved out of rock, just big enough for the bubbling bowl fountain which occupied its centre. I leaned over the fountain and drank deep, wishing I still had my bag of macadamia nuts.  
“I haven’t had breakfast.” I pointed out to Furiosa and Valkyrie when I got back.   
Valkyrie’s lips curved in a small smile, and her dark eyes danced. “Haven’t heard that word in a long time.” She said, digging into the wrapped cloth of her shirt. She handed me a canvas packet which turned out to hold strips of sun-dried tomatoes. Not the ideal breakfast, but I chewed them with determination. Starving in the desert had taught me not to be too fussy about my food, although I admit that visions of cool yoghurt and ripe fruit did fill my mind while I ate.  
I was still eating while the three of us climbed into the rickety old cable car. A warrior woman who I hadn’t noticed came out of the shadows and pushed a lever, starting the whirring and creaking of the cable car’s machinery. I clung to the sides while it swung out over the void, although it wasn’t nearly as bad as when Nux had been leaping all over the place the last time. Still, I was relieved when we reached the other side, and I could step out onto solid rock.  
“Imperator.” Another man with the white skin, shaved head and black cargo trousers that Nux wore made the same strange over-the-head praying motion that Nux had shown me.  
Furiosa nodded in his direction regally and strode past. All around me in that huge cavern I could hear the sound of unseen machinery, the patterns of light and dark changeable as huge chains swung past and massive wheels turned. Looking around I could see tiny, child versions of the white painted man darting around, pushing levers or oiling massive cogs. Some of them stopped their work to stare at us curiously.  
“War pups.” Explained Furiosa, seeing my puzzled looks. I sighed inwardly. Everyone seemed to have this habit of assuming that giving me the most minimal information would allow me to understand what they were talking about.  
She stopped by a large metal gate, pulling down on a long lever. The gate slid open, revealing some kind of freight elevator. We stepped in, and she pushed a button on a peeling and scratched control panel. The lift shuddered, and started to descend jerkily. I got the feeling that a lot of the machinery here was either very old, or patched together by people who only sort of knew what they were doing, or didn’t have all the right parts.  
We hadn’t gone down very far when the lift stopped, and another metal gate creaked open. We walked along a short dark corridor and into a large long room with a very high ceiling, bluish sunlight streaming down from shafts cut into the rock overhead. Stone benches were on either side of the room, with sinister man-sized metal cages hanging from above at intervals. Thankfully these cages were all empty, but the benches were not.


	15. Chapter 15

These benches were three tiered and full to bursting with the supine bodies of young men, all with the white painted skin, shaved heads and black cargo pants that I recognised from Nux. All had some form of scarification or body modification designed to make them look fearsome, but right now they mostly looked pitiable and wretched. They shifted listlessly or not at all, while the young War Pups moved among them, ministering to their needs.

At the near end of this room stood two warrior women guards dressed in brown leathers, long rifles in their hands. They looked alert for any danger, but I personally couldn’t see any of those War Boys being able to do much damage at that moment. At the far end of the room a large shaft of sunlight poured onto a strange pyramid; I couldn’t quite see what it was made up of, but it seemed to be small round metal objects.

As we entered the room, all the men and boys stared in our direction, some of the less sick ones raising themselves on their elbows to get a better look. The looks ranged from merely curious to openly hostile, and I felt myself shrinking inwardly. If Furiosa hadn’t put her hand on my shoulder, I probably would’ve stammered some excuse and left as quickly as possible. I wished Nux was there, lending me the strength of his calmness and practicality.

Instead, Furiosa’s hand thrust me forward, front and centre, Valkyrie and the other two women flanking us.

“War Boys!” I heard Furiosa’s voice ring out behind me. There was some muttering of ‘filth’ and ‘traitor’ from them, swiftly silenced by the sound of the warrior women’s’ rifles being cocked.

“Immortan Joe promised you life eternal on the highways of Valhalla. Your god is dead, killed by me. Who now will save you from half-life and a soft death?” Her voice was compelling, charismatic. It generated more muttering, some of these sickly war boys even managing to sit up.

I felt Furiosa’s hand thrust me further forward. “Give me your allegiance and this girl will give you full life. Not a promise of life after death, but real life, here and now.”

The muttering grew louder, punctuated with hissing cries of ‘liar!’ and ‘mediocre!”

Furiosa laughed grimly, and her hand on my shoulder tightened to a vice-like grip. She propelled me over to the nearest war boy, a particularly sickly looking individual, with a tumor the size of a duck’s egg disfiguring his neck. He was too weak to sit up, and his breath came in ragged wheezes. Furiosa pushed me down until I knelt by this young man. She let go of my shoulder, and I could see out of the corner of my eye her beckoning some of the war pups over.

I turned and looked up at her anxiously. I opened my mouth to say that I didn’t think it was a good idea to use children to supplement the whole energy thing, but the glint in her eyes and the watchful faces of the war boys made me think twice. Instead I turned back to the youth in front of me. He looked younger than Nux, and his eyes were light hazel, dull with sickness. Even under the war paint I could see the puffy dark circles around them. His cheeks were sunken, thin lips drawn back over his teeth. His bare chest was scarred with a large steering wheel, a grinning skull at the centre of it.

Sighing with apprehension, I took his hand between my own gently. It was cold and clammy and shook slightly. His light eyes gazed into mine, and I felt a sudden rush of compassion. I really was this boy’s only hope; he looked to be on the verge of death.

“I’m Rachel,” I volunteered in what I hoped was a comforting bedside manner, “what’s yours?”

“Cam.” He answered in a hoarse whisper. There was no hope in his eyes, but no hostility either; he seemed too far gone to care about a change in leadership.

I patted his hand reassuringly, not sure what else to say. My body flinched automatically when I felt the small hands of the war pups touching the skin of my back and arms. Wishing that there was no audience, I close my eyes, trying to call up whatever it was which would transfer life to this kid. Capable’s voice came back to me as clear as if she were in the room with us, ‘you have to want to’.

Another breath and there it was; the vision of an interlocking energy web, glowing in the darkness behind my eyelids. I could see the tiny bright points that made up the war pups, and the dull smudge which must be Cam’s. I forgot about the politics of the situation, instead concentrating on this youth who really hadn’t had much of a chance at life, dying before his time. The clammy sensation of his hands was replaced by one of suction, the feeling that the skin of our hands was melting together. I felt life and warmth draining out of me, into him, and dimly heard his low gasp. At the same time there was a smaller influx from the children’s hands, tiny threads compared to the river leaving me. I began to feel cold and lightheaded, pulsing black spots replacing the bright web in my inner vision.

Suddenly I felt the glued feeling cut off without warning, and I fell back to sitting on the floor, supported by the children behind me. I could feel their warmth and their gasping breaths. A shadow loomed over me, and I looked up blearily, feeling a tug of satisfaction that this time I was still conscious.

Standing tall and straight in front of me was the youth Cam, his hazel eyes shining. He smiled, and then made the same over the head praying motion that Nux had shown me.

“I live, I die, I live again.” He intoned reverently. Kneeling, he helped me to my feet. His hand was warm now, and I could see that there was no longer a tumor on his neck. Noticing the direction of my gaze, he fingered his neck, and laughed out loud with wonder. He turned to the room, raising the hand that held mine above his head. “I live again!” he yelled, his voice echoing off the stone walls. As if his words had released a dam, suddenly there was a hubbub of raised voices.

“You see?” Furiosa’s cry cut through the tumult like a knife, sound dying around her. She didn’t ask them to fight for her; I could see she didn’t need to. Almost the entire room, apart from the war boys too sick to sit up, made that odd motion of prayer to her, bowing their heads. A hundred men and boys whispered “I live, I die, I live again,” the walls magnifying it and sending it back in so many echoes it sounded like a thousand.

Cam had released my hand, and without that support, I found my legs wobbling dangerously. I swayed, feeling a rush of nausea, and the youth grabbed my waist to steady me. Leaning against him, I allowed myself a quiet snort of irony, that the young man who a moment ago could hardly lift his head, was now the only thing keeping me on my feet.

“By your hand I am redeemed.” He whispered, too low for anyone else to hear.

I shook my head. “No, it’s really not that big a deal.” I corrected, unwilling to be anyone’s saviour.

He grinned, and his hazel eyes danced. I was struck by how like and yet unlike he was to Nux, that same man-child aura of physical toughness and innocence combined, but without the sensitivity I’d always sensed in my desert companion. Now that Cam was cured, he radiated suppressed vivacity, an almost dangerous feeling of strength and undirected aggression.

The warrior woman Valkyrie put her arm around my shoulders and disengaged me from Cam. “Are you ready for more?” she asked quietly.

I let out a ragged breath. “Not really.” I said, knowing that I was probably going to have to do it anyway. In an effort to set some boundaries, I continued. “I think I can do one more, but that’s pushing it.”

She led me to another young man on another bench, and I noticed Furiosa directing another group of war pup children to replace the ones I’d taken life from. These former helpers seemed tired but unharmed, but I still felt like it was doubly unethical to be using the life force of little kids to heal these fighters. Cam joined the new cohort, and I saw in his eyes that he wanted to help.

I shook my head, and pushed his hand away. “Not safe.” I had some strange idea in my head that if he were part of an energy exchange so quickly after healing that I would just suck the life right out of him again. Seeing this, Furiosa took his arm and walked him away from us.

The man in front of me now was older, more Nux’s age, and just as badly off as the first. His skin was covered in suppurating lesions that created weeping tracks in the white paint covering him. Same shaved head, same black cargo trousers; only his dark eyes and unique scars proclaiming his individuality. He managed to sit up, leaning against the stone tier above him with a wince as his wounds came in contact with it.

“Axle.” He volunteered his name with a thin smile, and reached out his hand with all the eagerness his failing body could muster.


	16. Chapter 16

Maybe it was because Axle also wanted this to happen so badly, but the moment our hands touched, I felt a jerking sensation, and the transfer of energy began. My eyes were closed, but I felt the war pups’ touch as they hurriedly made contact with my skin. It seemed to go very fast this time, and before I could gather my thoughts, I was floating into blackness, the small pinpricks of life from the children completely out-balanced by the raging torrent of energy flowing out of me. I only dimly felt the abrupt end of that melding, almost as if the polarisation of a magnet was reversed, and I was repelled away from him.

I slumped on the rock floor, surrounded by the war pups. I could still feel a slight influx of energy from them, and I made an effort to brush them off, not wanting to take more than they could give. Sprawled there with my head bowed, I could hear Axle’s voice, stronger than before.

“I live again.” He affirmed, not yelling like Cam had, but in a tone quiet with wonder.

“I live, I die, I live again.” Came the reply of the crowd, religious in its fervor. I found myself wanting to scream at them to shut up, but lack of energy and a sense that that would be a bad idea prevented me.

Shadows darkened my vision; it was Furiosa and Valkyrie kneeling on either side of me.

“One more, and then you can rest.” Furiosa told me. Her voice was soft and compassionate, but held an undertone that could not be denied.

“The kids, they’re not enough.” I whispered, afraid to defy her but knowing in my heart that I wouldn’t walk away from another energy exchange.

I heard Furiosa sigh. “We’ll recruit former Milkers and Bloodbags for tomorrow, but today pups will have to do.”

Clenching my fists against the floor, I gritted my teeth. My body was shaking with a combination of fatigue and disbelief; the thought of doing this all again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next, filled me with a sense of hopelessness and horror. In the midst of this emotional turmoil, I still had time to wonder about the words ‘Milkers’ and ‘Bloodbags’; profession titles in the world seemed to be harshly literal, and I felt empathy for the people whose lives were defined by these names.

“I’m no use to you if I’m sucked dry.” I pointed out in a whisper as the two women dragged me to my feet.

“You won’t be.” Came Furiosa’s curt reply. My head was hanging as they lowered me in front of another War Boy, but this time their hands stayed on me, joined by the small palms of more war pups. I realised that Furiosa and Valkyrie were going to lend me their strength for this one, and that helped me regain a little composure.

I looked up at the young man in front of me, the youngest so far, hardly more than a pup himself. His eyes were bright emerald, feverishly so, and the stubble on his scalp was coppery coloured. Beneath the smudges of white paint, I could see a freckle here and there. He was very skinny, almost skeletal, apart from a large distended mass on one side of his chest. Another tumor; I found myself wondering what made all these people so sick. The words half-life and full-life gave me the clue; had some kind of radiation disaster afflicted this world?

I gathered my strength enough to flash him a smile and took his quivering hand in mine. “Hello.” I said inanely. “What’s your name?”

His too-bright eyes crinkled as he returned my smile. “Hex, they call me Hex.” He whispered, trying to rise, before slumping back on the bench.

I closed my eyes, willing my tired mind and body to concentrate. It was easier this time with the two women’s energy added to the kids; the larger streams of their life force providing more of a counterpoint to the outgoing rush. But I was still hovering on the brink of darkness before long, already too weak from the last two exchanges. As the sensation of melding ended, I felt myself overwhelmed by weakness, pitching forward into oblivion.

It was night when I awoke, lying on the bed in my tiny room. Moonlight shone through the open door, cold and surreal. I was very weak, very tired. Someone had covered me with a thick blanket, and I curled up underneath it, taking comfort from its warmth and solidity. I found myself wishing that Nux was there, remembering the feeling of his body next to mine, his arm around me. Depression filled me as I thought of him hugging Capable that way. I told myself it made sense; he’s known her first, and she was beautiful in a way I could never dream to be. But it still made me feel very alone. I tried to tell myself that I was strong, and that I was helping myself get closer to going home, but I didn’t feel it.

Tucking my chin against my chest I curled up tighter into a foetal position with the blanket over my head and drifted unhappily back to sleep.

I was woken suddenly, by crashing weight on the bed next to me. I blinked my eyes open, seeing only the mist of daylight through the blanket. Poking my head out, I looked around, to see that the source of the weight was Cheedo, squatting beside me on the bed, her hair disarrayed. She was giggling, and her eyes danced as she looked up at me.

“Get up, sleepy head!” she laughed, ripping the blanket off me. I grinned; her carefree attitude was infectious, and a welcome change to all the seriousness I’d had to deal with yesterday. I sat up and stretched my arms over my head, feeling my stomach growling.

“I’m hungry.” I announced, swinging my legs over the side of the bed. Crawling over beside me, she pulled my hair and made a tutting sound.

“You never brush it!” she scolded.

I pushed her hand away. “Yeah, yeah, I know. Food first.” The thought that the last thing I’d eaten had been a couple of sun-dried tomatoes yesterday morning made the gnawing feeling in my belly more urgent.

“Sure, come see my stash!” Cheedo grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the room. We passed into the main domed room and then she ducked into another room I hadn’t noticed before. This was larger than my monk’s cell, and had a small round window set deep in one stone wall. There were two beds pushed together in the middle, although I could see from outlines on the floor that there had once been more. It was fairly chaotic in there, with piles of white clothing, blankets and discarded bags and boxes strewn around.

She pounced on one of these and drew out an item carefully as if it were very precious. She held this out to me reverently, and then her expression changed to one of surprise as I burst out laughing. In the cradle of her hands she held what looked like a still pristine Twinkie, its golden form surreal in this dingy environment.

“Where did you get that?” I asked once I’d managed to stop laughing. I didn’t even really know why I was, it was just such a strange thing to see there.

Cheedo looked at me darkly, obviously a little offended. “Joe gave it me as a present. He said it was very special; food that lasts nearly forever!” Her natural exuberance began to reassert itself. “It’s from before the Fall, but look, it still ain’t rotten!”

I touched its plastic wrapper carefully, showing almost the same reverence she had. Then my hand began to shake as the import of its presence began to hit me. I’d always assumed I was in a different world, one that bore a relation to my own, but was entirely separate. But this was an item from my own earth, and it made me question. Obviously this world had once had the ability to manufacture Twinkies; was I in an alternate reality then, or had I travelled forward in time to a point where my own society had destroyed itself? I shook my head; whichever, it didn’t matter. I still needed to go home, and still had no real idea how to accomplish that.

“Don’t you want it?” Cheedo asked forlornly. “They’re very good; you won’t taste anything like it.”

I smiled wanly. “Keep it. You’re right, it is special. I used to love them when I was a kid. If this is the last ever Twinkie, you should definitely keep it.”

She mouthed the word, silently, looking down at it in awe. “How’d you know what it’s called?” she asked finally. “Joe never told me.”

“They had them all over the place in my world.” I explained. It was hard to push it away, the sight of it was making my mouth water.

Cheedo looked at me curiously, but didn’t ask any questions. She turned and placed the Twinkie back in the box carefully, before taking something else out. This was much more ordinary, a red apple, wrinkled with age, but still firm.

I accepted it gratefully, trying not to eat too fast. Cheedo joined me, eating another; she seemed to have a whole box of them.


	17. Chapter 17

She wiped her mouth happily after she was done, and grabbed two more, tossing me one. Darting over to the conjoined beds, she pulled out a hairbrush and brandished it at me playfully.

I sighed, and rolled my eyes, sitting on the edge of one of the beds while she brushed it. She hummed while she did so, and looked at me critically once she was done.

“There, much better.” She pronounced. “Y’know, you’re quite shiny, if you’d make an effort. Good thing Joe never saw ya’.” This last mention of his name seemed to turn her mood sombre, and she put the brush back on the bed quietly.

I looked at her, wondering if it was ok to ask her questions. “You sound like you knew him.” I finally said carefully.

Cheedo looked up, and her dark eyes were wide with some remembered fear. “Yeah,” she answered slowly, twisting her hands in her lap, “I knew him.” She snorted and tossed her hair, coming out of her mood as quickly as she’d entered it. “Biblically, as Miss Giddy would say. We all did.” She waved her hand vaguely around the chaotic room. “We were his wives.”

I grimaced, guilty that I’d brought it up. “Sorry. You must be glad he’s dead then.”

She swung her legs and smiled at me, looking so childlike I felt a surge of anger at the thought of some dirty old man pawing her.

“Yup!” she nodded. “It was so chrome; Furiosa ripped his face right off!” She clapped her hands and laughed happily as I stuck my tongue out in disgust. “I miss the others though,” she continued, “it was nice all sleeping in the same room. But they all moved out after we got back, so now it’s just me,” here she patted me on the shoulder, “I like having you around, it’s like old times without the bad bits. _I_ ain’t giving up the high life just cos it used to be Joe’s.” She finished practically, looking around the room with satisfaction.

“The others?” I asked curiously.

“Capable and Toast and Dag and Angharad - but she’s dead - of course.” She answered all in one breath, seeming puzzled I didn’t already know. She jumped up, dragging me up with her. “Oh, we have to go, Furiosa wants you in the organic repair shop again, I’ll be in trouble if you’re late!”

I resisted, not wanting to go back there at all, but Cheedo became quite upset, so eventually I relented and followed her. As she trotted along with me in tow, she prattled on about how the Dag (who I’d never met) wouldn’t come down from the gardens, and Toast who wanted to be a warrior just like the Vuvalini, and how poor Angharad had been run over by none other than Immortan Joe, and wasn’t it just like Capable to want to organise everything and be Furiosa’s Quartermaster. We were nearing the cable car room when she stopped, and gave me a sidelong look.

“She was always bossy,” she commented, and favoured me with a sly smile. “Bet Nux won’t put up with it for long.”

I frowned back at her. “He seems to be pretty in love with her.” I answered, trying not to rise to the bait. I didn’t feel like she was being very fair to Capable, who had seemed quite tolerant, in spite of our awkward circumstances.

Cheedo smiled that same private smile and twined her long dark hair around her fingers. “That’s only cos she got to him first; I bet he’d never had a woman before, War Boys don’t get to breed.” She looked up at me as I climbed into the car, ignoring the Vuvalini warrior woman who was listening to our conversation with raised eyebrows. “Are they all as shiny as him? I never get to see them up close; Joe never let me near ‘em and now neither does Furiosa. It’s not fair!” She added petulantly.

I grinned down at her, thinking what chaos her Lolita mannerisms and jaded innocence might wreak among the war boys. In my world she would’ve been a supermodel, with men lining up just for a chance to speak to her, and although this world was very different, I couldn’t imagine many guys being immune to her charms. I grasped her hand, feeling an upwelling of affection for her.

“She’s just trying to protect you.” I assured her. “Thanks for breakfast and hanging out!” I had to shout this last as the cable car swung away from her. She waved at me, and I watched as her form became small with distance, her dark hair and white garments blowing in the wind.

I was almost used to the cable car by now, but I experienced a moment of disquiet when I reached the other side and disembarked. I’d never walked around the Citadel by myself before, and I realised I actually had no recollection of how to get to the room with all the sick war boys. ‘The organic repair shop’ they all called it, as if humans were no more than just a different kind of machine.

Luckily I didn’t need to find my way; I was still looking around, trying to decide what direction to go in, when a white painted guard beckoned me over and led me to the freight elevator. I placed my palms on its walls while it descended, feeling the vibrations travel through me, staring up at the shifting light and dark as it passed through different levels. I should’ve been preparing myself for the coming ordeal, trying to find the strength to give life to others. But all I could think about was Nux, like I was some love-sick schoolgirl. I missed him, his solid presence, his lop-sided smile and dark-lashed blue eyes. Cheedo’s words had made me very conscious of his absence.

I was still thinking about him when the lift stopped, and I stepped out, walking slowly down the short corridor and into that large long room filled with people. Apart from the crowd of sick war boys on the benches and the child war pups moving among them, there were about fifteen men and women standing waiting for me, as well as Valkyrie and a couple of her Vuvalini warrior women. These new people were older, full adults. Large dark haired women with swinging pendulous breasts, reminding me vaguely of Maoris, and an assortment of bare chested men of diverse appearance, united by one similarity – their backs were covered in black tattoos made up of writing.

Again, as I approached, I was the centre of attention; Valkyrie strode over and whispered in my ear, “You’re late.”

Saying nothing, I allowed myself to be pulled over to the nearest supine war boy. He was more of a man than a boy, but his body was crumbling around him, skin flaking off in deep cracks that reminded me of the fissures in a thirsty desert. His eyes were grey and his nose was flat and crooked as if it had been broken and reset many times. When asked, he told me his name was Grouser, which seemed no stranger than the rest at this point.

I couldn’t stop myself from flinching when five of the men and women stepped forward and planted their palms on my skin; it was almost as hard as having to do the energy exchange, constantly letting all these people touch me. But it made it much easier when that bright river started draining out of me into Grouser, having the streams of their life incoming, so much more than the rivulets from the war pups.

I was weak but still able to stand when it was over and the room had to do their annoying ‘I live, I die, I live again’ ritual. I sighed as I made my way to the next war boy, not waiting for Valkyrie to lead me. How many did that mean were left; around ninety six? Furiosa must know as well as I did that there was absolutely no way I could heal that many of them in two weeks or even ten weeks. I wondered what would actually end up happening, whether I was healing these people just to die a grisly death in some hopeless battle as the Citadel was overrun.

It sounds horrible to say it, but already these young men were beginning to blend into one entity in my mind; all white painted, shaved, in great pain, disfigured with scars or sores or tumors, often a combination of all three. Dutifully I asked this one his name, trying to note the individuality in his face. His ice blue eyes reminded me how much darker and richer Nux’s were. Joules, he said his name was. About the same age as Nux I decided, and then cursed inwardly. I had to stop moping like this and concentrate on what I was doing.

Another five of the men and women laid hands on me. Another round of intense sensation, draining me, filling me, that push and pull of energy that still somehow always left me slightly weaker than before. The solemn intonation of the crowd as I finished and Joules leapt to his feet, radiating the vitality I’d given him. He had to help me up, but surprisingly I could still walk.

And onto the next. And the next.

It was all starting to become a blur, a nightmare of grasping hands and fatigue. I lost count of how many I’d healed today, unable even to remember them as individuals.

My head was hanging and my body shaking when I grasped a pale hand, looking up into blue eyes the same shade as Nux’s, that rich cobalt. As I started the energy transfer, I knew I wasn’t coming out of this one; black circles dancing in front of my vision before I’d even really started. Making a supreme effort of will, I gave him everything I had left before slipping into darkness, realising that I hadn’t even asked his name.


	18. Chapter 18

It was pitch black when I woke, so dark that for a moment I thought I was still unconscious but in some strange dream. Panicky, I sat up, and let out a gasp as weakness forced me back to lying down. The shadows moved , and I felt a shifting of weight near me on the bed, allowing a thin ray of light to partially outline someone sitting close to me. I drew away in fear, and felt the touch of a hand on my arm.

“’S organic.” Said a familiar voice quietly. I almost wept with relief, scrabbling for his arm weakly. It was Nux.

“How long?” I breathed, unable to finish the sentence. I felt his fingertips stroking the inside of my forearm, and tears welled up in my eyes. I bit my lip so as not to reveal that I was crying, not sure why I even was.

“Long time, since midday. Must be near midnight now.” His low voice was soothing and calm. As my eyes got used to the darkness, I could just see the shape of his head and shoulders. I lay there, letting silent tears run down the sides of my face onto the pillow, feeling the soft motion of his touch on my arm. A kaleidoscope of emotions ran through me, resentment chased by fear pushed out by sadness, giving way to all-encompassing fatigue.

“Pushing you too hard.” Stated Nux thoughtfully, his fingertips touching my upturned palm. I curled my fingers around his. I knew he was talking about Furiosa, and I knew he was right, but I had an urge to defend her, a new understanding of what a massive and probably futile task we were facing.

“I want to help.” I said stoically, and then let out a weepy laugh as I realised it was more than just Furiosa which made me want to continue. “I want to help them cos they remind me of you.”

My voice broke on the word ‘you’ and I dissolved into real tears, sniffling and sobbing while I covered my face with my hands. Somehow the realisation of my underlying motivations made things feel absolutely unbearable. I was more self-pitying even than when I’d almost given up in the desert, because at least there I’d had a simple goal – survive until reaching the Citadel. But here all I could feel was this crushing depression; weighed down by other people’s expectations and needs.

I was actually bawling when Nux lifted me to sitting, leaning me against his chest while he stroked my hair and back. The absurdity of my reactions embarrassed me out of my gloom, and I wiped my streaming eyes and nose.

“Sorry,” I offered apologetically, “I’m being silly.” I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth, trying to be practical. “You should go.”

Nux pulled back, his hands on my shoulders. “Why?” he said, and I could hear puppy-like confusion in his voice, an abrupt change from the calm man who comforted me while I cried.

I bit my lip, feeling weepy and weak. I didn’t want to say the words, because they would make it real, so I hugged him and buried my face against his collarbone. It took a few deep breaths before I felt strong enough to say it, but my voice was horribly wobbly when I spoke.

“Because I rely on you too much, and we’re not, you’re not…” it was so hard to say, “You’re in love with Capable, not me…and who wouldn’t be, she’s so beautiful and smart and kind…” I realised I was babbling, and let my voice trail off into silence.

The silence lengthened, and I sat there, breathing deep, waiting for him to agree with me and get up and walk away. But it didn’t happen; he just sat there letting my body rest against him, twining his fingers in my hair. I’d been steeling myself for his reaction, but the longer there was none, the more confused I felt.

Finally he kissed the top of my head with a sigh and mused, “Dunno. Dunno what being in love is. Missed her, while we were in the desert. All I could think about, getting back to her. But now ’m here, and…I just don’t know.” He lapsed back into silence, a silence so long that I ended up yawning, fatigue starting to claim me once again.

“Sleep.” He told me, pushing me to lie down. “You need it.” I lay on my side, curled around his body, my head resting on his knee. He sighed again, the sigh of someone with a lot on their mind.

“You be ok if I go?” he asked, one hand still stroking my hair.

I nodded sleepily, all my sorrows drained away by my outburst, leaving only a feeling of numbness. I dropped my head back to the pillow, closing my eyes because I didn’t want to watch him leave. I was too drained even to be surprised when I felt the warm pressure of his lips touching mine, his fingers lightly resting on my neck. I responded slowly, expecting it just to be a quick kiss goodnight, but his lips didn’t leave, dragging across my mouth and back again until the heat it sparked swamped me. It seemed almost inevitable when our tongues met, and my arms rose to cradle his head in my hands as he leaned over me.

The kiss went on and on, his one hand buried in my hair while the other rested on my waist, until suddenly with a final caress of his fingertips under my chin, Nux disengaged and stood up. More than a little frustrated, I sucked in my breath and prepared to tell him what I thought of guys who kept giving me such mixed messages.

“I gotta go, ‘m sorry.” He interrupted, and the pure angst in his voice silenced my accusations. “Want to stay,” he put one hand to his head as if it hurt, “really really want to stay, but I promised. So mediocre.”

I shook my head. “At some point you’re going to have to choose, man. I can’t keep doing this, it’s fucking me up.” I felt tears perilously close again. It hurt more than simple rejection to know that he liked me, but not enough to stay.

Nux leaned against the door frame, silhouetted against the moonlight. “I know.” He said finally, his voice quiet and depressed. Even though his face was just a shape in the darkness, I had the feeling he was about to say something else, but then he shook his head and left the room.

I stared at the light coming through the doorway for a long time after he was gone, biting my lip to choke back the tears. Part of me was very angry and disappointed, selfishly wanting only his affection. But there was a more adult part of me which could see the conflicted emotions fracturing him, and that part felt only empathy and compassion. Like so many of us in this world – and in my own world, I recalled – he felt trapped by the confusion of not knowing what path was the right one, of the disconnect between what we wanted to do, and what we knew we _should_ do.

Hugging myself in the darkness, I was reminded that it was doubly selfish of me to want him to give up Capable for me, since my main aim was to return home as soon as I could. But, a tiny niggling voice whispered inside me, what if you can’t? What if you’re stuck here? I clamped down on that thought, but it was still squirming around in my mind as I fell back to sleep, overwhelmed by a combination of physical and emotional weariness.


	19. Chapter 19

I woke early the next day, stressed and depressed the moment my eyes snapped open. I didn’t feel like things were going well in any area of my life; I was sick of being used as a font of energy, miserable that Nux kept stringing me along, and seemingly no closer to my goal of getting home. Chewing my lip anxiously, I rolled out of bed, and left my room.

Cheedo was still asleep, and I didn’t really feel like company anyway, so I walked out of the domed room and through the adjoining ones, with some vague idea of getting something to eat. I stopped in the room with the circular pool long enough to drink some water. It was a creepy room at the best of times, but in the cold dawn with no one around, it was doubly so. Trailing my fingers in the cool water, I stared down at my distorted reflection. The low angle of the light made my white hair gleam, and I frowned, thinking that this was just another mystery that I’d been avoiding.

I splashed water on my face, trying to clear my mind of my gloomy thoughts. It didn’t work. I sat there on the bench but depression made me restless, and I was soon up, continuing my aimless wander into the next room and through it, hesitating when I came to the long corridor with all its myriad exits. The Citadel was a maze-like warren, and I had no idea where I could find food.

Feeling a bit lost, I padded along, checking every door. Nothing held much in the way of edibles, although it seemed like every room was packed with either a chaos of crates or huddles of people. I checked one of the crates, but they seemed to hold nothing other than weapons or ammunition. I was making my way slowly along the corridor in this way, feeling more and more hungry, when I heard the sound of low voices up ahead, and saw the flicker of a gas light coming from one of the rooms which delved into the heart of the mesa rather than facing to its edge. Quickening my pace, I hurried up to the door and peeked in.

Inside were Toast and Capable, the former on her knees going through the contents of a box, calling out numbers while Capable wrote them down with a pencil in a large leather bound book. I shuffled my feet a little, waiting for them to notice me. I felt too awkward around Capable at this point to make the first move. Finally Toast finished with the box, and in turning to move onto the next, saw me standing in the doorway.

She tilted her head curiously and then said, “You’re up early; I thought Cheedo had taught you her bad habits. What are you looking for?’ Her tone was brusque but not really hostile; her eyes were red-rimmed with weariness and she and Capable both seemed very tired, as if they’d been doing this for a long time.

“Something to eat?” I stammered, blushing a little. I could feel Capable’s eyes on me, and found myself avoiding eye contact with her.

“You’re going to mess up our inventory.” Capable commented, but she seemed quite good natured about it. She nodded to Toast, who dug into the box she’d just been looking through and passed me a muslin bag of dates and some kind of hard tack biscuit. Capable dutifully scratched out and replaced a couple of figures in her book.

Seeing my questioning gaze, she explained, “We’ve been trying to get this inventory completed for days now, but it’s a huge job – I don’t think Furiosa realises how much Joe had stashed up here.” She smiled, “Even feeding the Wretched, we could survive a siege for years with all this.”

Toast snorted derisively, “I bet that’s what the last lot thought; didn’t reckon on Joe and his crew finding a way up. Bullet farmers’ll find a way in; they’re good underground, rats that they are.”

“I could help.” I offered shyly, my mouth full of dates. It suddenly seemed very appealing to hang out with these girls doing a normal useful job, instead of playing god with a bunch of psychotic warriors.

Capable shook her fiery head, “No, Furiosa wants those War Boys healed, as many as possible. I hear you’re doing pretty well there.” She flashed me another smile, and I felt my insides contract with guilt, remembering Nux’s kiss last night.

“Y’know who should be helping us,” interjected Toast grumpily, “that lazy chit Cheedo. If she was here maybe I could go back to helping the Vuvalini teach the Milkers how to shoot.” She patted the long rifle which lay in the dust close to her.

I shrugged, “She just a kid, and it sounds like she didn’t get much of a childhood.” I felt oddly protective of Cheedo.

Toast rolled her eyes. “As if any of us did.” She snapped, and then sighed, wiping her forehead with a dusty hand. “Never mind me, it’s all organic. I’m just tired; we’ve been doing this all night.”

I popped another date in my mouth and gazed at her and Capable thoughtfully. I’d been so wrapped up in my own woes that I hadn’t considered all the other people frantically working around the clock to get things ready for the inevitable attack. It also made me realise that Nux had left me, not to return to Capable’s arms, but to spend the night elsewhere.

Finishing the last date, I started on the hard tack, and found it lived up to its name. Afraid I would crack my teeth trying to bite a chunk off, I settled for sucking on it noisily, as if it were some horribly salty lollipop.

Capable laughed watching me do this. “Yeah, that’s pretty much all they’re good for.”

I grimaced ruefully. “Better’n starving.” I pointed out, around a mouthful of biscuit.

Now it was Capable’s turn to glance at me thoughtfully. “I heard you had a pretty hard time there, back in the wastelands.”

I nodded, feeling like we were skirting a dangerous subject. Capable placed her book and pencil on top of a tower of boxes and wiped her hands on her skirt. “Do you need me to show you the way to the organic repair shop?” she asked practically.

Toast flashed her a knowing look. “Just make sure you come back soon,” she insisted, “I don’t want to get stuck doing this all by myself.”

Capable pursed her mouth and tossed her magnificent hair, before sidling past me to leave the room. She beckoned me after her. As we walked, I tried to look around me and fix some sort of map in my mind so I could remember for next time. We didn’t talk, until she stopped by a large opening in the outside wall, sort of a viewing window, with no glass of course. Then she crossed her arms, and turned to me with a determined look on her face.

“You like him, don’t you.” It was not a question, and I didn’t have to ask who she was talking about.

I sighed; I’d been hoping to avoid this conversation, but I’d known it was going to come eventually.

“Y..yeah, I do.” I admitted. “But that doesn’t mean anything.” I quirked my mouth in an ironic smile. “I’ve liked lots of guys who didn’t like me back.”

Capable tilted her head and gave me a critical look. “I’m not so sure about that.” She chewed her bottom lip and played with her hair absently. “He seems confused.” Suddenly she frowned and stamped her foot. “I won’t be part of a harem again, I won’t!”

I held up my hands in a placating gesture. “Noone’s asking you to.” I assured her, hoping that Nux hadn’t been stupid enough to suggest it. “Doesn’t anyone have normal relationships here?”

Capable’s blue eyes became suddenly dreamy, “You mean like in Miss Giddy’s stories? The white knight rescues the princess and they get married and live happily ever after?” She scowled. “No. Up until a couple of weeks ago we were all just things, bartered for breeding or milk.”

I shook my head in frustration. “No, I don’t mean like either of those, I mean normal relationships, you know, where you like date and then maybe decide after a bit to be exclusive and build a life together…” I trailed off, wondering what kind of a life a couple could really build here.

She gave me that look of confusion I seemed to get from so many people in this world, and then seemed to decide something, her aura of determination coming back. “It doesn’t matter. I just want to know if you’re going to pursue him.”

I laughed in spite of myself. “I’m not pursuing anyone right now,” I said, ignoring the tiny voice inside which poked me with guilt about that last kiss, “I’ve got bigger problems than boys.” I stopped, feeling like I was being disingenuous. “Ok, I do like him. We formed a real bond trying to get here through some crazy shit. He was the first person I met in this world. But if anyone’s doing any pursuing, it’s him, so maybe he’s the one you need to talk to.”

Capable’s mouth turned down in a moue which made her look even prettier than before. “He just says he doesn’t understand why I won’t share him. You have to understand, War Boys don’t get to…have sex with women normally. Any sex they have is with each other, “here she closed her eyes as if reciting a lesson, “Miss Giddy says that it’s a mark of warrior societies – like the Spartals – that women are only for breeding and warriors form bonds with each other.”

“Spartans.” I corrected absently. She shot me a glance of surprise. “From ancient Greece.” I added.

“Where are you from?” she asked in amazement. “Noone but the Story Keepers knows that kind of thing anymore.”

“Another world, apparently.” I shrugged. “Look, I don’t want to cause problems, but Nux has got to make up his own mind. I’m not running after him, but I’m not going to throw him out of bed if he shows up either.

But honestly, I think he’s just confusing gratitude with love; I ‘brought him back’,” here I wiggled my fingers in the universal signal for quotation marks, and sighed again as she looked at them blankly, “and we had some tough times helping each other survive. But you’re a lot prettier, and you’re part of his world; I’m sure he’s going to end up realising it’s you he loves.”

Saying this depressed me, and I leaned against the stone wall, waiting for her reaction. It was all very well to say such reasonable, mature things, but I wasn’t sure if deep down I really meant them. I’d never met a man like Nux before, and whenever he was around, ‘reason’ seemed to fly out the window. The memory of his lips pressed against mine lingered traitorously in my mind.

I’d expected Capable’s usual determination, but to my surprise she looked more than a little unsure. “Sometimes I think that’s the only reason he likes me too,” she said wanly, “because I was nice to him when Joe rejected him. He’s such a kid, y’know?” Her blue eyes appealed to me soulfully.

I nodded, knowing exactly what she meant. “Come on,” I suggested, “let’s get down to that hospit – I mean, organic repair shop. I promise I won’t try to seduce him,” privately thinking that so far, I’d never had to, “good enough?”

Capable nodded, and then her eyes danced in a sudden change of mood. “I’m not supposed to go there; Furiosa says it’s dangerous. But,” and here she put her hands on her hips and gave me a saucy glance from under her dark coppery lashes, “Nux isn’t the only boy in this Citadel; maybe one of those war boys will be shinier than him.” Her eyes flashed defiantly.

“You go girl!” I exclaimed, holding up my hand for a high five.

She gave me another blank look, and glanced around, “Go where?” she asked, puzzled.

I rolled my eyes. “Never mind.


	20. Chapter 20

Shrugging, Capable led me along until we reached the cable car room, ignoring the disapproving look the Vuvalini warrior woman gave her when she joined me in the cab. She was putting up a good front of her usual calm and solemn demeanour, but I could tell Capable was excited by going somewhere she wasn’t supposed to. While I was still holding onto the structural poles for dear life like I did every time, she was checking the view from every window.

The War Boy guard on the other side glanced at us strangely when we arrived, but Capable carried herself as regally as a queen, and no one prevented us from taking the freight elevator down to the organic repair shop level. I could sense the tension in her body as she stood next to me; it made me realise how jaded I was becoming about this whole thing.

Just another day at the office. Oh, what do you do for a living? Why, I transfer life energy to a dying bunch of psychopathic warriors in the hopes they’ll save me from a fate worse than death. The absurdity of it made me chuckle, and Capable glanced at me questioningly. But there was no time to try and explain the in-joke, because the lift had stopped with a shudder, and now the steel gate was sliding open.

I saw a line of men and women walking up the short corridor and hurried past them to the head of the column. Valkyrie was there, but again no Furiosa. I guess she had more important things to do than babysit me. The tall woman greeted me with a smile and a wave, her dark eyes crinkling at the edges.

“On time today, I see!” she commented, and then saw Capable. “Ah, and that would explain it. Thanks Capable, I can take it from here.”

I saw Capable’s mouth compress into a tight line, and knew she had no intention of going anywhere. Taking Valkyrie by the shoulder, I turned her forward subtly, seeing out of the corner of my eye Capable fall into line behind us.  
“No time like the present,“ I stated breezily, “let’s get going.”

Valkyrie glanced at me sidelong, startled by this change from my usual reluctance. I strode ahead of her, and almost bumped into the small cluster of War Boys standing just inside the long room, flanked by two Vuvalini warriors. Staring at them, I recognised the young men I’d already healed, standing tall and proud now that they were ‘full lifes’ as Furiosa would’ve said. The one who’d named himself Grouser, who seemed to be the oldest of the group, came forward and made that prayer motion towards me.

“Want to help, Redeemer.”

I winced at the title. “Don’t call me that please.” I told him, trying not to sound too grumpy about it. “The name’s Rachel.”

Grouser nodded, and then motioned to the small group. “Still want to help…Rachel. Share what you gave us with our brothers.”

I gazed at them doubtfully, prevaricating. Then I remembered that Nux had helped me heal Furiosa, and he’d been fine afterwards. Maybe it would be ok. I nodded. “Ok.” I agreed, feeling suddenly shy. Their presence was a lot more overwhelming than the other men and women who’d been recruited to help; raised as warriors they carried themselves with a certain snap and charisma which reminded me forcibly of their masculinity. There’s nothing like being surrounded by a group of tall muscular young men with no shirts on, who all owe you their lives to boot, to make a girl feel a little tongue-tied.

I glanced around at Valkyrie to make sure she approved. She nodded and smiled, “Maybe we’ll reach Furiosa’s quota with their help,” she offered, “You’re supposed to be healing ten a day.”

My eyes widened. That seemed an impossible task, even with the war boys helping. Shrugging off a feeling of futility, I decided to give it my best shot, and walked forward to the first young man lying on the nearest bench.

He was so sick he was unable to even raise himself on his elbows, only the turn of his head and the motion of his dark eyes telling me he was aware at all. I took his trembling hand, the skin dry and baking hot.

“What’s your name?” I asked awkwardly; it was strange that this was the part which I always found most cringe worthy, and not the intense exchange of something as intimate as my very life force.

He opened his mouth, and a hiss of exhaled breath came out, but no words.

“That one’s Dash.” Piped a childish voice from above me; one of the war pups was leaning over us curiously from an upper bench.

I murmured the name, and closed my eyes, feeling many hands on my skin. The energy from the war boys I’d healed was bright and stronger than the others, it had a quality of newness which was invigorating.

When it was over, I sat on the floor gasping, while Dash stood above me, staring at his hands as if they were someone else’s. As I regained my feet, he turned his dark eyes towards me, and held his hands out to me as if in entreaty. I took them in my own and squeezed them, smiling at him. To share such an experience made me feel humble; the change was so great in him.

He smiled back at me, and made that same overhead prayer that I was becoming so accustomed to. The room echoed him, and I gazed around it, feeling a strange sense of warmth. Yes, this religious mumbo jumbo was annoying and embarrassing, but the event at the heart of it was something else, something that was still a mystery to me.

And, onto the next. Still buoyed up by that sense of warmth, I had no trouble walking over to the next bench, the next man. He was on the older side, pale eyes that glinted when they looked at me, his arms and torso disfigured with lumps. He was well enough to be sitting up, his arms at his sides. While a new set of five helpers came over, I sat beside him and asked him his name.

Those ice blue eyes narrowed and to my surprise, his mouth twisted in a snarling smile.

“Filth!” he whispered, leaning in close to my face.

I felt the dot of moisture from his spittle hit my cheek, and then time seemed to slow as he jumped forward, send me crashing backwards onto the stone bench. My head hit the rock, hard, and I was shaking my head in a daze when he punched me in the stomach. At least, that’s what I thought it was, until an explosion of sensation, like burning ice, slammed through my body. There was a hubbub of noise around me, but all I could hear was his voice, yelling, “Witness!”

He grabbed me with bloodied hands, and it was at that point, as he leaned into me, his face distorted with rage, that I realised that it was my blood, and I had been stabbed, not punched. Gasping, feeling cold spreading out from the agonising core of my wound, I raised my hands, clawing at his face. I don’t think I was intending anything beyond some animal instinct to fend him off, but the reaction was immediate. My hands glued themselves to his face, and I felt his body jerk uncontrollably as energy poured out of him, so fast and violent it was like being hit all over again.

I could hear screaming close by, and with a shock understood that it was me. The pain and confusion of sensation was indescribable, and I found myself trying to concentrate on any solid points I could. I was sucking in energy from every pore, as the torment in my stomach twisted and turned me. I stared deep into my attacker’s pale eyes, seeing the pain and shock passed onto him. Suddenly his skin was crumbling under my fingers, and his body collapsed into a puff of dust on top of me. I heard the clatter of something metal hitting the ground, combined with a number of thuds.

Disorientated and panicked, I sprang to my feet, feeling energy surging through me. Sight was blurry as I frantically brushed the powder which had been my attacker’s body from me. I clawed at my stomach, but under the coating of blood, there was no wound, only smooth, healthy skin.

I took a step backward, and nearly tripped over something. Turning to look, I saw with horror that the five people helping me were lying slumped on the ground in a circle around me, like some morbid petalled flower. Had I killed them too? My body started to shake and I could dimly hear myself repeating one word over and over, “No, no, no, no.” I wasn’t shouting it, it was almost a whisper. Stunned, I stared around me and saw the identical expression on everyone’s faces; horror. Revolted by what had happened, I stumbled over one of the prone bodies, backing away from the crowd through the room.

I saw one of the healed war boys take a step towards me, and the movement broke the spell holding me there; I turned and ran, only vaguely aware of what I was doing. I know I passed out of the other end of the room, running along strange dark corridors and tripping up unfamiliar stairs as if the devil were after me. I kept running, but I couldn’t run away from the realisation that I’d just killed six people to save my own life, five of them innocents who’d been trying to help me.

So I ran, not noticing until afterwards that the tunnels and corridors I ran through were empty and abandoned. Even after my breath ran out I kept stumbling forward, always upwards, not paying much attention to the fact that stone walls were now mixed with earth, and that the light coming through shafts and grilles above me made the sunlight seem much closer.

I climbed another flight of crude steps and suddenly stopped, shielding my eyes from the sun. A breeze ruffled my hair, and I could smell something which I hadn’t even known I’d missed; the smell of greenery, vegetation.

After so many days in the labyrinth of the Citadel, the sky overwhelmed me, huge and oppressive. I crouched down, stumbling along in a half-crawling gait, still driven by the need to just get away. Earth crumbled under my feet and my fingers trailed through long grasses, brushing seed pods in a fine trail. Bewildered by this sudden change in environment, I slowed to a crawl, and it was lucky I did, because without warning, the grass ended, and with only a short verge of earth and shrubs, the land ended in a sharp precipice.

I experienced spinning vertigo looking over that edge, the people below so small I could hardly even view them as ants. Dragging my eyes upwards, I could see the two other mesas around me; bound to this one by thin cables, they sprouted towers and girder structures. But both were green, and on the one directly opposite me I could see clumps of real trees. Beyond them was the red desert and the darker ridge of a plateau, rising long and steep across the landscape. If I stared into the distance on the other side, I could see the tiny black plume of smoke coming from Gastown. So far, and yet, in terms of attack, so close.

I crouched there for a long time, my mind oscillating between numbness and a suicidal urge to fling myself over the cliff and be done with it. If this were a dream, death would wake me, maybe I would even be jolted awake just by the act of falling. But in my heart I knew that the earth fragmenting under my fingers felt too real to be a dream. I hung my head, and crawled back through the long grass, slowly walking more upright. This mesa seemed to be mostly tiers of grasses or crops grown in straight lines, but in the centre of it was a large lone tree, like a sentinel watching over the terraced fields. I made my way towards it, and as I neared it I saw that it was growing attached to a large boulder, so large that it could’ve fitted a house on it comfortably.

Even though the sun was still beating down on me, the sky baked to a deep cobalt, I found myself shivering. Confused and cold I climbed onto the boulder and threw myself down on the enmeshed roots of the tree. They were twisted and gnarled, with weeds and grasses growing through their tangled spaces. Desperate for some kind of comfort, I wrapped my arms and body around one of the thinner roots, and laid my cheek against it. I didn’t seem able to think clearly, but the texture of the wood and the soft rustle of leaves in the breeze above soothed me, and for a while I let my mind go blank.


	21. Chapter 21

I didn’t actually sleep, but I wasn’t really aware of the passing of time; everything seemed unreal. It was only when I felt hands on my shoulders that I even noticed it was now dark. I was so numb that I allowed myself to be turned around without responding. Light shone in my eyes, and I could hear low voices, but it was as if I was in some kind of bubble of unreality. I blinked, seeing dark shapes behind the light.

“We should get her over to the other side; reckon Able can give her something.” A young woman’s voice, low and quiet.

“What wrong with her, why’s she so…?” I recognised this voice as Nux’s, but it seemed both close and far away at the same time, like he was talking through layers of cotton wool.

“Dunno, brain’s broke?” The woman said and then added, “Nah, just hiding inside; seen it before. Sometimes people can’t take it when bad stuff happens. Pick her up, let’s get her to Able.”

Warm hands lifted me, and I knew it was Nux, but I still couldn’t respond. I could see the dark shape of his skull against the night stars, feel the warmth of him as he held me, smell the unmistakable scent of night greenery, and yet, none of it seemed to matter. Nothing penetrated the numbness that held me in thrall. After a short time I was placed in a seat, my legs hanging, Nux and the woman on either side of me. As she moved the small lamp she held I could see her long pale hair and the strong lines of her face. She must’ve been almost as tall as Nux, her long slim arms and legs dwarfing mine.

“Hold onto her,” She ordered, grabbing my arm to punctuate her words, “Think she’s too far gone to hold on while we cross.”

Nux put his hand around my waist, his long fingers digging into me. The seat jerked and swung, and I felt my stomach drop inside me as we left the ground. Dimly I realised we must be in some kind of ski lift. Part of me wanted to hold the safety bar and look around, but it was like I was trapped in treacle or still-liquid amber, the sense of numbness all pervading. There was motion, and bright lights cutting across the darkness, but I couldn’t focus enough to take in more than that. Before long we were on the other side, descending into bright patches of light with the long shadows of people streaming across the ground. The green smell was strong here and I could see the outlines of many trees around us.

Nux and the pale woman dragged me up off the seat and towards the waiting figures. The thought of seeing more people fractured my bubble, threatening the return of emotion. I closed my eyes against the feeling of dizziness, and heard myself whimper, drawing back against their hands. Quickly Nux picked me up again, and glancing upwards, I could see the planes of his face defined by the lights as he looked down at me, the only detailed thing in this fuzzy unrealness. His brow was furrowed with worry. It hurt to look at him, to know that he must be aware of what I’d done. I closed my eyes again, trying to shrink within myself to where it was safely numb.

Low voices around me, the small sounds of people shifting. Furiosa’s voice came sharp out of the confusion.

“Total brain-lock?” she made an inarticulate sound of frustration, “That’s all we need. Able, how can we bring her out of this?”

I felt a warm hand cradling my face, turning it towards the light. Blinking my eyes open, I saw it was her, Furiosa, her sapphire eyes sharp enough to cut yourself on, fixing me with an intense stare.

“They’re not dead, do you understand? You only killed that kamacrazy War Boy.” She turned away, still holding my chin, looking to someone out of my view. “I need her back up quick, you hear? Corpus says he saw vehicles on the Fury Road today; we’re running out of time. I don’t care what you have to do.”

“She’s not a thing.” This was from Nux, I could feel the quiet rumble of sound in his chest as he spoke. His tone wasn’t belligerent, merely flat, but there was a responding tension in Furiosa’s hand as she touched me.

She dropped her hand to her side, and as my eyes followed it I could see that she now had another hand, part of a metal forearm attached to her body with straps.

“She will be if we don’t shred them. “She told him harshly. Her eyes turned back to me, and there was almost softness in their peerless blue. “It’s hard, first time you kill, I know it. But we need you in working order, don’t have time for you to go soft.’ She turned to the Vuvalini woman who stood next to her. “What can you do?”

This woman, who had a lined face and steel grey hair, dressed in the customary brown leathers they all seemed to wear, nodded thoughtfully, “Warmth, rest, sleep, that ought’to do it. Got some willow bark and valerian been saving for a rainy day, I’ll make up some tea. She shouldn’t be alone tonight.”

“She won’t be.” Came Nux’s instant answer.

I turned my face away from the outside world, hiding against the warmth of his chest. I was ashamed of my weakness, of letting these people down, but at the same time the thought of going back to healing all those war boys filled me with an overwhelming feeling of anxiety. My numbness wavered as this anxiety climbed. I felt an urge to jump out of Nux’s arms and run away, run off the edge of the cliff if I had to, just to get away.

I heard Furiosa’s voice, fading as if she were walking away. “Alright, I’m going to get some sleep. Fix her up; I want her in the organic repair room early. Valkyrie; organise more helper shifts, I want to meet that quota tomorrow. And put a guard ‘round her; we can’t have this happen again.”

I could hear the sounds of the circle of people breaking up and leaving.

“Follow me.” This was Able, and the warm practicality of her voice comforted me enough to look around. Nux was carrying me into a large shack which looked like it was made out of corrugated iron sheets. Tall vines supported by iron rods covered the walls; I could smell the sweet scent of their pale flowers. Golden light bathed us as we entered; the pale girl who’d found me was already heating water over a campfire gas burner propped up on cinder blocks.

The shack was ramshackle and rusting, with chairs and a table made out of various scrap metal. An open door led onto another room, I could see the dim outlines of piles of bedding on the floor against each wall.

“Put ‘er down over there.” Able waved to a low bench in a corner. She dug through a shadowy pile, and pulled out a large blanket, covered with the same bright geometrical patterns that had adorned Cheedo’s headband.

I allowed myself to be wrapped in this blanket, and sat there while Nux patted me on the hand and then went to squat by the heating water. He kept looking back at me, as if he was afraid I might jump up and turn tail or disappear in a puff of smoke.

“Don’t fuss.” the pale girl ordered him, stirring dried herbs into the water. She hummed to herself, a dark pleasant sound, mysterious. Able had disappeared into the other room, and came out with a small handful of herbs which she handled as if they were very precious.

“This’ll set you up,” she said, glancing at me with a wrinkled smile, “valerian’ll let you sleep easy, that’s what you need.” She tossed them into the simmering water.

The pale girl gave me a shyly curious look behind her wings of white blonde hair, light blue eyes wide. “I’m Dag, The Dag, they call me.” She told me. “Heard a lot about you.”

She dipped a metal mug into the water and handed it to Nux, who brought it over to me. He took my hands and folded them around it, as if I were a small child. Feeling its heat through the metal, I gingerly raised it to my lips, blowing on the surface to cool it.

“Good, good.” Breathed Able approvingly. “You’ll be alright. Had a bit of a nasty shock, right? Can’t say I did much better when I killed my first; puked all over me boots, I did! How we laughed!” She grinned, showing missing and snaggled teeth.

The tea was bitter, but soothing, and I felt braver taking in the world around me with the mug rim as a sort of shield. Furiosa had told me the helpers had lived, and that made things a whole lot better. It was still embarrassing that I’d freaked out and run away, but at least I wasn’t some out of control mass murderer, as much a danger to my allies as my enemies. Nux had his arm around my shoulders, and I leaned into his side as The Dag brought him a mug of tea too. She poured another for Able and then took one herself, grinning as she did so.

“Can’t hurt.” She commented with satisfaction.

Able nodded and raised her mug to us in a toast. “Sweet dreams.” She murmured.

I yawned; the herbal mixture was already beginning to affect me, along with the hefty dose of emotional and physical fatigue from the day’s events. I rubbed my eyes with one hand, and drained the last of the mug, tasting the bitterness of the boiled and crumbled leaves on my tongue.

“Sleep now.” Ordered Able. She raised an eyebrow in Nux’s direction, “You staying?”

I turned my head to look at him as Nux nodded. As much as I wanted him to stay, I still felt a pang of guilt pierce me. I liked Capable, and I found myself torn between selfish desire and not wanting to hurt her.  
“You don’t have to.” I whispered.

His arm tightened on my shoulder momentarily in a hug and he gave me one of those old lop-sided grins. “Want to.” He stated.

Able stood up, grimacing as an audible crackle came from one of her knees. “Righto. No funny business though; don’t want you waking us up.” She picked up the small lamp while Dag turned off the gas camp stove.

Nux took my hand as we stood up and we both followed Able and Dag into the bedroom. They laid themselves down, each on a pile of bedding against a wall, while Able motioned for us to do the same. She set the lamp down beside her, waiting for us to lie down before she blew it out.

It was very dark in there; there were no windows, and what little light there was came from chinks and cracks in the metal walls. The Dag and Able’s quiet breathing broke the silence as they drifted off to sleep. I was tired myself, but the thought of having to go back tomorrow was increasing my nervousness. I lay on my side, facing the room, while Nux curled in behind me, his top arm hugging me so that his hand rested in the space between my neck and my shoulder. I could feel the warmth of him against my back, and the canvas of his cargo pants under my legs and feet. His breath tickled the back of my neck, and I found myself unhappily restless.

Finally I turned on my back, stepping my feet over his legs so that my thighs rested on his, reminding me of our time in the desert. I breathed deeply, trying to calm my mind.


	22. Chapter 22

“Can’t sleep?” Nux’s voice was the barest whisper, breathed into my ear. His arm hugging me stroked across my shoulder, tracing the line of my collar bone until his fingers rested in the dent where the two bones met at my neck. In spite of the delicious sensation his trailing fingers awoke, my anxiety wouldn’t leave me. I shook my head, as much against the pressure of his hand as his words.

“I don’t want to go back there.” I whispered in return, clasping his forearm in my hands. His fingers stroked the side of my neck, and he shifted so that his lower arm passed under my body, wrapping around me.

I shot a quick glance over at the sleeping forms of Able and The Dag, but neither of them showed any sign of our whispers waking them.

Nux sighed and kissed the side of my neck where it met the jawline; not a kiss of passion but one of comfort and sadness. He rested his forehead against my temple.

“First time I killed, messed me up too.” He said in a hushed tone. “Chrome helped, but after…thought about it for a long time.”

I closed my eyes, feeling my mouth compress in a tight line. I didn’t want to talk about it, didn’t want to think about it. This made me search for something else to say to distract him.

“Thanks for being here.” I murmured finally, feeling a pang of guilt that I was so glad he was. “You always are, when it matters.” I raised his hand from my neck and brought it to my lips, kissing the back of his fingers. His breathing quickened and I felt his body tense; belatedly I realised I might be in the process of breaking my promise to Capable.

In a confused attempt to defuse the situation, I wriggled around until I was on my side facing him, using my hands and feet to create space between us, keeping him at arm’s length.

“Don’t.” I said. I’d meant to say more, about how I didn’t want to hurt Capable, and I was still feeling pretty anxious about what I’d just experienced, but the words died in my throat. Arm’s length for me wasn’t nearly arm’s length for him, and I found myself turning my face into his hand as he cupped my jaw. I had just enough self-control left not to kiss his palm, and I shook my head, kicking his knee gently for emphasis.

He dropped his hand from my face, reaching back towards him to peel one of my hands off his chest.

“Told Capable I couldn’t be…mono, mono…that thing you were saying – only with her, you know what I mean.” His words were short and choppy, as if it hurt him to say them. His hand kneaded mine, his thumb tracing circles around the centre of my palm.

I gritted my teeth and let my head fall back in frustration. “What did you go and do that for?” I asked, trying to keep my voice at a hissing whisper. I snapped my head forward again, trying to read his expression, but it was too dark to see more than vague shadows.

“Cos I like her, but I like you too. She’s so shiny, she taught me Joe wasn’t a god…but in the desert…you,” Nux paused, and I could sense he was struggling to express himself, “more than just…, I dunno…” he trailed off, his voice thoughtful.

“But I’m going to leave.” I protested urgently, “I’m trying to get home.”

“I know.” He answered quietly, “Want to know you better, know you…that way, before y’go.” He sounded more adult than I’d ever heard him, in a quietly despondent kind of way.

I didn’t really know what to say to this. I felt confused, and guilty over Capable, but not guilty enough to tell him to get lost. The most I could manage was a quiet mumble of “She’s prettier’n me.”

I could hear the suppressed snort of his laughter close to me in the darkness. “Yeah,” he agreed, flinching a little as I kicked him in the knee again, harder this time, “but you’re shiny in your own way, a different way. Good different.”

He dropped my hand and used both arms to pull me close, until I was pressed against him, my own arms circling his torso. Heat radiated out from him, and I gulped as my hands rested on the skin of his back, feeling the play of muscles under them. He bent his head, and kissed the hollow where my neck met my shoulder. I felt my heart rate increasing, and a sense of panic rising. The situation called up memories of my former normal life, and I remembered enough to know that lack of experience wasn’t the issue, but I still felt like if I gave in to the sensations he was causing, I would lose control.

I shook my head again as his lips trailed up my neck, the softness of them making me bite my lip against the sensation of pleasure. “Don’t.” I repeated, clenching my hands into fists against his back.

He pulled back and looked me in the eyes. Dark as it was, I could see the glint of his eyes against the darker planes of his face. “Don’t want to?” he asked softly, and then I heard the intake of his breath. “Have you never…?”

“Don’t be silly,” I retorted in a hissing whisper, digging my knuckles into his back, “I bet I’ve done it lots more’n you. It’s just, I dunno, there’s two other people in the room, I’m tired and upset, and I’m just not…y’know, not feeling it right now.” I finished awkwardly, knowing that the last was a lie. I was feeling it, very much so, but anxiety was still dominant.

“’K, ‘s organic.” Nux nodded, accepting. His arms relaxed and he let his head drop to the pile of rags which served as a pillow. Of course, the moment he did, desire swamped me, and I found myself clenching my fists for a different reason entirely.

I squirmed in the loose circle of his arms, caught between lust and doubt. Finally I ventured, “Ok, well, maybe a little bit. Can’t we, uh, just fool around?” Without waiting for an answer, I kissed his cheek, allowing my hands to slide up his back.

I’d meant to kiss him again on the cheek, working my way up to being brave enough to kiss his mouth, but he turned his head to meet me, and my mouth landed on his, harder than I’d intended. The friction of it sent pulses of pleasure exploding to my nerve centres, and I squirmed closer, raising my hands to clasp the back of his shaved head. He responded by crushing me to him, one hand on my upper back while the other stroked the skin under the waistband of the back of my skirt. Gently his tongue pried open my lips and I darted mine out to touch it, tasting the saltiness of his saliva.

For a while I lost myself in the pure sensory overload of kissing, grinding my hips against his as the urge to merge myself with him grew stronger. I could feel my heart racing and my breath coming in silent gasps as he broke the kiss, bending me backwards while his tongue trailed down my neck, until he was kissing the space between my collarbone and my breasts. Clenching my teeth to prevent myself crying out, I bent my leg, raising it outwards until my thigh rested on top of his, the coarse material of his trousers scraping against the inside of it. Nux buried his face against my neck again, and I felt rather than heard his stifled groan as his hand left my back. It pushed the thin material of my skirt past my knee as he followed the line of my leg, until his fingers brushed the crease where my thigh met my bum. Rising above the smell of his sweat was the scent of my own musk. His body was tense as a drawn bow, and we were both shaking with barely-there control, the only thing which stopped us at the borderline between foreplay and real sex.

Abruptly I heard the sound of Able or Dag shifting in their sleep, acting like a bucket of cold water for me, although Nux didn’t seem to notice until I stopped responding and disengaged myself. His breathing was still ragged as he murmured in my ear. “What?”

“We’ll wake them up.” I whispered back, my lips grazing his earlobe. I couldn’t see his shrug, but I felt it; evidently public sex wasn’t a bother in his world.

“Outside?” he suggested, one hand stroking the soft flesh of my thigh languidly.

I chewed on my lower lip, again torn between yearning and prudence. On the one hand, I wanted him, badly, and this was an opportunity which might not happen again. But on the other, I was starting to get pretty tired, and I knew that awesome sex would not be a good enough excuse to be late for my appointment at the organic repair shop the next day. While I waffled, Nux spent the time stroking my body and kissing the length of my neck. I writhed silently under his hands, feeling my will crumble.

“Ok, ok!” I muttered, knowing I was probably going to regret it in the morning.

With a last deep kiss on my lips, Nux raised himself to a crouch and started to crawl stealthily towards the door. Feeling slightly breathless, I sat up to follow him.

“Hold on there girl!” Able’s voice was not much more than a whisper, but it rang through the room as if she’d bellowed it. The Dag spluttered and turned over, apparently still asleep.

“I told Furiosa you’d rest, and so you will, even if I gotta tie you up.” Able hissed. “Get back to bed. Boy, if you can’t keep your hands to yourself, you’re gonna sleep out there. What’ll it be?”

Nux had frozen in a squatting position by the door, but now I could hear his chuckle, and saw the outline of his body shake with quiet laughter.

“I’ll be good.” He promised her, crawling back to my side on the pile of bedding.

He pulled me down beside him, and as I lay on my side he wrapped his arms around me and cuddled close, giving me a chaste peck of a kiss on the back of the neck. Within minutes I could hear his breathing settle into the rhythm of sleep, and wished that I could do the same. Yawning, I closed my eyes, trying not to think about his proximity. Finally fatigue swept over me, and I fell into sleep.


	23. Chapter 23

It was still gloomy in the shack when I woke up, but I could see bright sunlight burning its way through cracks[B1]  in the walls and ceiling. Dislodging Nux’s arm carefully in an effort not to wake him, I sat up and stretched. The action made me aware that I was in need of a bath again; my clothes and body smeared with dirt and crusted with sweat. Absently I ran my fingers through my hair with the object of taming it a little. Once again I inspected my stomach, trying to find traces of any wound, but there was nothing, only the memory of abject pain. Curling my knees up I clutched my belly, wishing the memory wasn’t so vivid.

The spell was broken my Nux’s hand on my back; without having to look around I could imagine his questioning expression.

“I’m hungry.” I said flatly, not wanting to talk about anything less mundane. I reflected that I always seemed to be hungry in this world; a handful of dates or nuts per day was not enough. Dreamily I remembered the delights of my old life, the thought of chocolate making me salivate.

Nux sat up next to me, yawning and rubbing the back of his stubbly head. I heard movement from the other side of the room and saw that Able and The Dag were also stirring. As Able blinked and stared at me, I repeated, “I’m hungry; is there anything to eat?”

Her tangled grey hair making her look like some crazy scarecrow, she pointed to the other room. I jumped up and trotted in there, looking around for any sign of food. In one corner was a bowl containing fresh fruit, a luxury I had only seen so far in Cheedo’s secret stash. It was predominantly figs, with a couple of apples and apricots; I took a sample of each, tossing Nux an apple as he appeared in the doorway from the bedroom.

I leaned against the wall while he sat in one of the backless chairs, and we ate in companionable silence. Thinking about the night before made me blush a little, and when I glanced over and caught his eye, we shared a small private smile. But there was no time for such distractions, for Able came out and looked me up and down critically.

“You should get going.” She told me, her arms folded.

I shrugged, “I don’t know the way.” The feeling of reluctance was growing inside me; it made me a little shaky to think about going back to that hall, to all those people.

“Take the chair lift back over, then the freight elevator down, it’s pretty simple, girl.” Able explained grumpily. I nodded, wondering if she was mad at me about last night, or just not a morning person.

“I’ll show her, I ‘member the way.” Volunteered Nux, finishing off his apple core right down to the pips.

Able leered at him, “I’m sure you will, boy.”

I felt my face turning red, and looked away, although he didn’t seem phased by it at all, responding with his signature lopsided grin. He stood up, preparing to leave, and that brought into focus my rising sense of anxiety. I opened my mouth to say I didn’t want to go, and then shut it again, knowing that really wasn’t an option. Glumly I stood up and took a deep breath.

“Let’s get it over with then.” I said bleakly. Able and Nux shared a look, and I knew they were registering my unhappiness, a fact which didn’t make me feel any better about the situation.

Chewing my lip nervously I turned and walked out through the door of the corrugated shack, blinking in the bright sunlight. A grove of fruit trees surrounded me, dappling the short grass with light and shade. A little way off stood a pyramidal iron structure with the chair life cable attached to it. Not waiting to see if Nux was following, I strode over to it, feeling the early morning breeze on my skin.

I wanted to run away and hide again, curl up in a corner and scream to be left alone, but I knew I couldn’t. It seemed unfair that everyone else in this world was so strong, so inured to pain and fear that they considered it just part of normal life. I couldn’t do that; all my memories of my former life seemed pedestrian and safe in comparison.

Nux had caught up with me pretty quickly, and as he slid into step with me, I found myself reaching for his hand. He gave it a friendly squeeze, and helped me into the chair lift, reaching over with one long arm to flip the lever that started it. My stomach lurched as we jerked into the air, and I clung to the safety bar this time, no longer having the numbness of shock interfering with my fear of heights.

“Isn’t this so chrome?” he commented happily as we swung out of the edge of the precipice, kicking his legs like an overgrown schoolboy. I shook my head and stiffened, praying that he would stop doing that soon. Seeing my discomfort, he leaned over and gave me a quick hug, causing the chair to swing even more violently. I squeaked with dismay, and he pulled back, giving me a puzzled look.

“Aren’t you ever scared of anything, man?” I asked, feeling relief as we approached the other side.

His answer was a shrug, and we left it at that. I wondered if that was a side effect of being brought back from near-death, or again, a symptom of such a violent upbringing. When we stopped and disembarked, my legs were shaking. I realised it was not so much from the chair ride as from the thought of going back to what I almost considered my job at this point.

I hung back as he led me to a square of shadow on the ground, which turned out to be the entrance to some descending stairs. I stood at the edge of them, my body trembling. Nux, who’d started to walk down them, stopped and turned, looking at me questioningly. His brow furrowed when he saw me shaking, and he bounded back up the stairs lightly until he stood in front of me.

“What’s up?” he inquired, reaching out to touch my shoulder with his fingertips.

I shook my head, feeling cold sweat pickling my skin. “I can’t.” I covered my face in my hands. “Please don’t make me.”

I felt him hug me close, his voice quiet as he spoke to me. “’Member the desert?” he reminded me. “Thought you couldn’t do that either, but you did. Stronger than you know.” Here he pried my hands free from my face, and kissed me gently on the mouth. “One of the reasons you’re so shiny.”

I bit my lip and turned my face away, unwilling to accept the trust he was showing me. I knew that right now I didn’t care about any noble sentiments, I just didn’t want to revisit a situation which had caused me to kill someone and nearly be killed myself. Yet I knew I had to; my own survival, as well as many others, depended on it.

I breathed deep and pushed myself away from him. “Lead on then.” I said curtly, squaring my shoulders against the trembling which still plagued me.

As he took my hand and led me down the steps I had a sudden mad vision that I was descending into some underworld, a hell on earth filled with pale painted demons. I told myself that was unfair; most of the men I’d healed had been not much more than kids, and this was the only world they’d ever known. I kept breathing deeply, trying to push past the fear. It seemed an age before we reached the bottom of the stairs and came face to face with the iron gate of the freight elevator.

Nux pushed a button and the gate slid open creakily. We stepped in, and I found myself wedging my body in the far corner, staring out as it jerked and slid its way down. Stripes of light and shadow passed over us. I took deep breath after deep breath, trying to keep panic at bay.

“It’s organic, really,“ he reassured me, “I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

I nodded quietly. “I know.” I didn’t want to add that it wasn’t just that, that I was almost as scared of hurting someone else. The memory of my attacker’s body crumbling to dust, the look of shock and pain on his face as I drained all the life out of him, these were hard to accept.

Finally we were there, and I grabbed his forearm to steady myself as the life came to a shuddering halt. The gate opened, and we stepped out into the familiar short corridor. I was shaking like a leaf as we walked down it, hugging myself convulsively. Nux put his arm around my shoulder, and it was a good thing he did, because I almost turned and ran instinctively once we came to the long room, the organic repair shop.

I could feel many eyes on me as I entered, saw many faces, expectant and curious. The supply of sick war boys still seemed neverending; there was also a group of healed ones, and various people recruited to help me. Valkyrie and two of her Vuvalini warriors stood close by, and she hailed me as I stepped over the threshold.

“Welcome back.” She greeted me. I nodded shyly, hoping she wouldn’t mention yesterday. She didn’t, instead motioning me forward to begin at once. With a last look up at Nux for reassurance, I walked over and began.

It was a changed atmosphere from yesterday; a much higher level of tension in the room, compounded by the fact that the Vuvalini guards checked every man I healed for weapons beforehand. Whether through having more of the ‘born again’ war boys to help me or simply from having absorbed so much energy from the man I’d killed yesterday, I managed to heal four war boys before fatigue even began to touch me.

Valkyrie was watching approvingly, no doubt thinking she might actually be able to tell Furiosa I’d hit my quota today, when Nux tapped me on the shoulder and told me he was going to do some mechanic work, but would be back later to check on me. Kneeling next to a sick war boy, I smiled up at him, trying not to reveal my trepidation.

“You be ok?” he asked, as he turned to leave.

I nodded. “Yup, I think so.” I watched him stride out of the room, ignoring the curious glances everyone gave me.

The war boy I was about to heal, he’d said his name was Gearz, offered me his hand and asked, “He’s the one you brought back from Valhalla? Nux the Traitor?”

I took his hand in mine. “Yeah, sort of, but don’t call him that. He’s the only reason I’m here to help you.” I stopped, aware I was probably sounding a bit defensive. Oh well, they were all traitors once I’d healed them and they fought for Furiosa, all except that one who chosen death instead, trying to take me with him.

Gearz grinned at me, “Gotta thank him later once ‘m a full-life then.” I smiled back at him, thankful that he wasn’t taking it too seriously, and then closed my eyes to start the process of energy transfer.

I was on a roll that day, still conscious in spite of growing fatigue by the time I’d finished the tenth. Valkyrie was so pleased she came over and tousled my hair with her hand as I sat on the ground, breathing in short gasps.

“You did it!” she exclaimed exultingly. I nodded, feeling the warmth of her approval. That warmth dissipated when I realised that all they had to do to repeat this was feed me a whole life every day. Sick at the thought of it, I hugged my knees to my chest, trying to get my breathing back to normal.

“Think you can do more?” She asked hopefully, looking around the room. Her face fell. “Damn, no more recruits, guess not.”

Greatly daring, I stood up shakily. “I’ll try one without.” I offered, and then added quietly, so that only she could hear, “I’ve got lots of energy left over from yesterday.”

Valkyrie’s eyes narrowed, and she nodded thoughtfully. “So, works like that, eh. Ok then, fang it.”

I walked slowly over to the next war boy, a young man almost skeletal in his sickness. He told me his name was Amp as I took his hand, reaching within myself for that mysterious ability. Almost immediately, I knew I’d overreached; without the streams of energy incoming, even the excess from yesterday’s kill was bleeding out of me at an accelerated rate.

Determined to see it out, I kept going, feeling that draining which foreshadowed coma. My hand shook as I gripped his, black spots floating in front of my eyes. It was by this sign that I knew what was coming next, and I pitched to the floor, feeling darkness overwhelm me.


	24. Chapter 24

I was lying on the cold hard stone of one of the benches when Valkyrie shook me awake.

“Think you’ve had enough.” She stated, and with a motion of her head beckoned two of the Vuvalini women over. “Take her back to the vault.” She told them matter of factly, and then flashed me a quick smile. “You did well today; rest easy.”

I was too out of it to be embarrassed that the two women had to support me to leave the room, my head hanging as they half-dragged, half-carried me, with an arm under each shoulder. I kept drifting in and out of consciousness, and don’t even remember the cable car or going through the circular rooms which led to what Valkyrie had called the Vault. I came to once they laid me down on a dilapidated couch propped against the wall opposite the piano; something I could’ve sworn hadn’t been there last time I was in the room.

“Need anything?” one of them asked, as they turned to leave. She was the short-haired brown one from the cable car room with all the alcoves; I was slowly starting to recognise these women as individuals, although I didn’t know most of their names.

“Food.” I gasped, lolling on the couch weakly.

The woman nodded and drawing a thin square package out of her trouser pocket, tossed it to me. Disappointingly, it turned out to be more of the hard-tack biscuit, but I was too hungry to turn my nose up at it. I mouthed it feebly until it was all gone, and then drifted off into sleep again, too tired to make my way to my tiny room.

The setting sun was casting long shadows in the domed room of the vault when I blearily opened my eyes again. I yawned and sat up, feeling a little wobbly. It was lonely being by myself in that large space after having been surrounded by people all day, although a relief not to have so many hands on me. Briefly I wondered where Nux was, remembering that he’d said he would come back to the organic repair shop. Oh well, I told myself, I couldn’t expect him to babysit me all the time, and in a way it was kind of nice to have some time to just be, instead of constantly having to interact with others.

I stretched, and the smell of my body hit me, rank with old sweat and the cleaner scent of crumbled earth. I really did need a bath and a change of clothes. Feeling a little uneasy about it, I staggered into Cheedo’s room, and picked up some lengths of white cloth from a pile on the floor. They smelt pretty clean, cleaner than what I had on anyway, so I grabbed them and made my way shakily up to the second level where the brass bath stood. It took me a bit to work out how to turn the hose on, and the water was cold, but eventually I was lowering myself into clean water, scrubbing my skin and scalp with the tiny remnants of soap that Cheedo had left on the floor.

I was still splashing around when I heard the sound of the vault door scraping open and the slap of feet entering the room. Hopeful that it was Nux, I got up on my knees in the bath and peeped over the balcony wall, feeling a pang of disappointment when I saw it was Cheedo. This was followed by surprise when I noticed that she was not alone; she had a lanky war boy in tow, leading him by the hand while she looked back at him giggling flirtatiously.

They both looked up at the sound of my splashing around, and Cheedo waved to me happily.

“Good to see ya!” she exclaimed.

I looked from her to the war boy; it was one of the ones I’d healed, but I couldn’t remember his name for the life of me. He was one of the younger ones, with coppery stubble and freckles. His green eyes widened as he saw me, and then he blushed, and looked away.

“Cheedo, are you sure..?” I asked, feeling a little protective of her, although she seemed more comfortable with the situation than he did.

Cheedo tossed her hair in annoyance and pouted. “Don’t lecture; everyone always lectures me cos they think I’m a baby.” She spat the last word, and her mouth settled in a grim line. “Haven’t been a baby since Joe laid hands on me,” she pulled herself closer to the war boy, looking at him with a soft smile, her moods as changeable as ever. “I spent years being piked by some filthy old man with boils, think I deserve someone young and shiny for a change.” She kissed his mouth gently, and giggled again at his clumsy attempt to reciprocate.

I smiled, glad that she seemed so happy. Still, I wanted to make sure she’d be ok; I pointed an accusatory finger at the war boy, and demanded, “You, what’s your name again?”

“Hex, Redee - Rachel.” He answered dutifully.

“Ok, Hex, if you hurt her,” I waggled my finger for emphasis, “if you hurt her, I’ll take back all that life I gave you. Got it?”

Hex nodded humbly, still looking back at me as Cheedo took his arm and propelled him into her room, kicking the door closed with a sharp smack. The sound of her laughter floated up to me, and I pushed myself back down into the water until my ears were covered, wondering if I should leave the room for a bit, and if so, where I could go. After a few minutes I decided I was too tired, and since she didn’t seem to care, why should I. I just hoped they wouldn’t get too loud; in spite of my nap on the sofa, I felt the need for more sleep.

I stood up and stepped out of the tub, standing over the grate while I hosed myself off, and took the opportunity to drink some of the spray. Then I tipped the bathwater down the grate and made a half-hearted attempt to knot the lengths of white material into clothes. This wasn’t as successful as when Cheedo had helped me before, but since I was going to bed anyway, I didn’t bother with it too much.

Not sure what to do with my dirty clothes, I left them in a pile at the bottom of the stairs, and made my way into my cramped room. Already I could hear sounds of activity from Cheedo’s room, and as I shut the door, I could hear Hex’s raised voice, crying “Glory be!” Sighing disconsolately and still wondering where Nux was, I threw myself on the bed and burrowed under the blanket, putting the pillow over my head to keep out any further noise. I needn’t have worried, because within minutes, I was asleep.

I was disturbed by the movement of someone getting into bed beside me. Startled, and unable to see since the closed door left the room in utter darkness, I stiffened and shrank away.

“’S just me.” Nux’s voice thrummed quietly through the pillow blanketing my ears. His hand brushed my shoulder, bringing with it the sharp scent of mixed sweat, grease and petrol. He shifted around until he was lying facing me, boots knocking against the bed frame, and lifted the pillow away from my head.

“Why?” he asked simply.

“Cheedo brought a war boy home.” I explained dryly, adjusting the pillow so that it was beneath me. His head moved, a dark shape in the surrounding blackness, until it rested on the further end of it.

I could hear the smile in his voice when he said, “That’s chrome, gonna be more of that now Joe’s not running the show.” He sounded tired, his hand brushing my hair leisurely from my face and travelling down my shoulder and arm, until it circled my wrist, paused, and then ascended again in a slow sweeping motion.

I reached out myself, feeling the slight jump of his muscles as my fingers stroked his flank. We lay there silently; conversation seemed unnecessary, and I wondered if he was as hypnotised by me stroking his side as I was by the motion of his hand running up and down my arm.

After awhile he sighed, and said, “Talked to Capable; she’s angry.” His tone was melancholy.

I paused my hand, not sure what to say. Finally, I ventured, trying to keep my voice neutral, “But you’re still here.”

He sighed wearily. “Yeah, still here.”

“You don’t have to be; you don’t owe me.” I told him hesitantly. I didn’t want him to leave, but I also didn’t want him to stay if that was the only reason.

“Want to be.” Came the quiet answer. A pause, and then, “I do owe ya, but’s not why.”

“Even if it means losing her?” I asked bluntly.

There was a shifting from him in the darkness and I could tell he was shrugging.

“Couldn’t make her understand, can’t explain…not good with words like that.”

“Please, will you try?” I pleaded.

There was a longer pause, so long I thought he’d just decided not to answer. And then, starting slowly, quietly, as if he were thinking aloud, he said, “She’s shiny, don’t want to lose her, but…in the desert, you, we…were like brothers, like you were my lancer.”

This made little sense to me, but it obviously meant a lot to him, so I listened silently while he continued, “She’s like the sun, so chrome I can warm m’ hands on her, but far above, not for knowing like that, like a brother. I don’t know her really; just spent a day and a night with her ‘fore I went to Valhalla. What a day that was! But you,” he reached up and his fingertips brushed my cheek softly before he let his hand fall, “y’should be a god to me for bringing me back, but you’re not. I know you; seen you bleed, seen you starve, seen you chromed,” here I could hear a smile of remembrance in his voice, “seen you give up. And…and more I know you, more I want to.

You’re different, gentle…not…broken. Everyone here’s broken: me, her, Furiosa, war boys, everyone. ‘Cept you. ‘Cos you’re from somewhere else, somewhere better. And I want…I want you cos of it. I don’t want to miss out on being with you just cos Capable wants me for herself.”

The words were tumbling out of him at an accelerating rate, and now his voice rose with emotion. “I don’t understand! War boys ain’t like this; we fight, we fuck, we don’t say you only have sex with me and no one else. D’ya feel like Capable? If I have sex with you, will you shred me if I have sex with her? I don’t understand!” He ended with a wail.

By the end of this outburst he had curled into a semi-foetal position, his head in his hands. Troubled by his obvious distress, I covered his hands with my own, kissing his brow.

“I don’t know, I really don’t,” I whispered frantically, not sure how to calm him down, humbled and admittedly a little disturbed by what he’d said, “I could maybe handle it for a little while, but I don’t know.” The thought of Hex with Cheedo next door gave me an inspired scenario. “Nux, if you’d come in tonight and that war boy was with me instead of Cheedo, how would you feel? Wouldn’t you be a bit pissed? Cos that’s kind of what you’re asking Capable to put up with.”

There was silence as Nux thought this over. Finally, he dropped his hands from his face and tentatively said, “Maybe, if y’didn’t tell me first.” He sounded unsure and then after a pause he burst out, “Am I like Joe then? She says I just want to be like Joe and have a bunch of breeders to pike whenever I want.” There was a tremor of self-revulsion in his voice at the thought of this.

I felt the corner of my mouth switch in a smile. He sounded so young, so completely lost and confused, my heart went out to him. I leaned my head forward and gently kissed his mouth, feeling him respond absently. “I don’t think so,” I assured him, “It’s not like you’re rounding us up at gunpoint or anything.”

“Should I leave? You want me to go?” His voice was sad, and he shrank in on himself, returning to the foetal position, arms crossed against his chest.

My throat constricted at the thought of it; I really didn’t want him to go. I knew it was selfish, and that it was probably going to end badly, but his words had made me realise that I was horribly, hopelessly in love with him.

It was like a weight descending on me to say it, but eventually, I muttered, “If you don’t want to lose Capable, maybe. I, I like you a lot,” I breathed deep, “like, really a lot…I’ve never known anyone like you either. I think you’re totally awesome, and I’m really attracted to you. But I’m still trying to go home, and if you stay, you might end up with neither of us, cos I’ll be gone and Capable will hate you.” I stroked his cheek, biting my lip on the words ‘I love you’, words which seemed unfair to burden him with.

There was a long silence, and as it lengthened, I found it so hard not to blurt out ‘stay!’. But I clamped down on the urge, and let my trembling fingers rest on his neck, feeling his hand reach up to lightly caress the circle of my wrist. I tried to prepare mentally for him to leave, telling myself that it was the logical choice, but knowing that I would be wretched if (when, I told myself) he did.


	25. Chapter 25

It seemed like forever that we lay there, but eventually Nux sat up, and swung his legs back to the ground. It was my turn now to curl in on myself, certain that this was a precursor to him leaving. I clenched my fists and bit down on my knuckles, determined not to cry or beg him to stay. My heart contracted as he stood up without speaking, and I felt the prickling of tears starting.

He was fumbling with his hands, feeling around the edge of the bed, and then I heard a small ‘snick’ and a tiny light blossomed in his hand, flickering. He shuffled over to the wall, and there was a quiet whoosh; he had turned on the small gas lamp which nestled in its wall embrasure. A second later he touched the fire in his hand to it, and warm light filled the room, creating long shadows on the walls. I covered my face with my hands, finding it unbearably bright after the total darkness, and not wanting him to see the tears in my eyes.

There was a thump as he sat back down on the bed. Hardly daring to breath, I lowered my hands and looked up at him as he twisted to put a hand around my shoulders and pull me close, so that I was curled around his body. I buried my face in the material of his cargo pants, not wanting to hope. His hand stroked my hair, and I heard his voice, firm and more confident than before, as if he’d come to a hard decision, and put confusion behind him.

“’M staying.”

I curled tighter into his body, and exhaled deeply, aware that I’d been holding my breath. A thousand trite phrases came to mind, from the self-deprecating ‘I’m not worth it’ to that treacherous ‘I love you’, but my throat was so tight I just lay there dumbly, revelling in the sensation of his body close to me, his hand smoothing my hair. It took a bit for the shock to wear off, and when it did, I sat up, my hand on his thigh to support myself, and plucked up the courage to look him in the eyes.

Nux returned the gaze, looking at me with an almost shy smile, wide eyes and slightly raised eyebrows giving him that puppy dog look once again. The lamplight ignited tiny sparks of reflection in the deepness of his blue eyes, and I found myself smiling back just as shyly. Slowly he passed his arm around my waist, pulling me closer as he leaned in to kiss me on the mouth. I tilted my head back to meet him, feeling the tingling warmth as his lips pressed against mine. The kiss deepened, and I gripped handfuls of the coarse fabric of his cargo pants, allowing his hands to support my upper body.

Caught up in the moment, I still had time to reflect on his strange combination of youthful confusion – what I called the puppy dog side of him – and the adult confidence and reserve he displayed at other times, times like this. Arguably I was probably more experienced sexually, but right now he was the one leading, while I followed. The sensation of pleasure his tongue pushing past my lips brought banished these thoughts, and I gave myself up fully to it, raising my hands to caress the network of scarification on his chest. His chest and stomach muscles tensed under my touch, and he gripped me tighter, his fingers buried in my tangled hair and digging deep into the flesh of my back.

We were both breathing faster as I slid my hands lower, trailing my thumbs just under the waistband of his trousers. He caught my lower lip between his, and then released it, kissing me lightly on the mouth. I opened my eyes to look at his face; his eyes were half open, long dark lashes grazing his cheek, a small smile curving one side of his scarred mouth. He bent his head and his lips trailed along the side of my throat. I could feel his breath hot and quick on my skin.

Abruptly he slid one hand under my bum and lifted me up until I was sitting sideways in his lap. The heat of his body underneath me, next to me, was intoxicating, and I raised my hands to cup his face, running my tongue over his lips. We launched into another deep spiralling kiss, my heart beating against my chest like it wanted to escape. His hand slid under the material of my skirt, caressing the length of my thigh. The touch of his fingers felt burning hot, sending pulses of pleasure through my body.

As his fingers brushed the bone of my hip, I let my hand travel down his chest and stomach again, feeling the twitch of his muscles as my fingers passed over them. My thumb slid under his waistband, reaching down until I felt the soft fluff where his pubic hair started. His hand left my hip, squishing the flesh of my buttock, and he broke the kiss again, pulling back to fix me with an intense stare, so intense that I trailed my hand away from his groin, coming to rest on the safer area of the jutting bone of his hip.

“What?” I whispered curiously.

Gently he kissed my mouth and then asked quietly, “We still just foolin’ around?”

I grinned, realising that this was Nux’s way of asking for permission to go further. Kissing his face with quick light kisses, I wriggled in his lap with delicious anticipation.

“What’s that word you lot all use?” I murmured, “Fang it?” I caught his earlobe between my teeth and sucked on it lightly, hoping that this would be obvious enough for him.

It seemed to be enough, for he caught my mouth with his in another deep kiss, pushing his tongue forcefully between my lips. I could feel his hands shaking as he fumbled with the knots holding my halter top in place, and my own hands trembled as I undid the top button of his cargo pants. My knots gave him more trouble than the button, and he had to stop kissing me so he could look over my shoulder to see what he was doing. Leaning forward, I kissed his chest, running my tongue over the ridges of his scars, tasting the salt of his sweat. I bent forward as low as I could go, my tongue flickering over the flesh of his stomach in loose circles. I heard the intake of his breath, and he stopped pulling apart the knots of my clothing long enough to kiss my shoulder and the back of my neck.

He returned to loosening the knots, and finally managed to break them, letting the material fall to the bed discarded.

“Glory, how did you get those so tight?” He complained breathlessly, starting on the knot which kept my skirt tied around my hips.

I shrugged. ”Cos I suck at knots?” I offered, pulling down the zipper of his trousers and running my palm lightly over the dark puff of his pubic hair. Turns out War Boys go commando. His hips bucked slightly in response, almost throwing me off his lap.

“Done!” Nux exclaimed exultingly, as the folds of my skirt left my hips and settled over his thighs and the bed.

I sat up with a giggle, and then stopped at the expression on his face, feeling more than a little shy as his gaze travelled down my body.

“Shiny.” He breathed in an undertone and then he raised his eyebrows questioningly. Embarrassed, I looked down to what seemed to be catching his attention, knowing what it probably was. Even my damned pubic hair was white, a snowy tuft tinted pink from the skin under it; something I’d hoped he wouldn’t notice, because it made me feel even more like a freak of nature. I felt an urge to cover myself, but as my hand moved to do so, he caught it and raised the palm to his lips, smiling as he looked up at me.

“Super chrome.” He commented.

I grimaced. “I swear I used to be more normal looking.”

Nux put his arms around me and gathered me close, his lips on the base of my neck. “I like it.” He whispered, crushing me fiercely. The motion caused his zipper to scratch the underside of my thigh, and I hissed with pain, jerking my body backward until I fell off his lap and sprawled on the bed; an especially undignified position to be in while naked. Recovering, I hugged my knees to my chest, watching him shyly while he kicked off his boots and raised his hips to help pull down his trousers, flicking them into a heap in the corner. I found it hard not to stare at his erect penis, all the many synonyms for the male member running through my head.

When he was naked he sat close to me, running his thumb over the red scratch on my thigh.

“Sorry.” He apologised, the puppy dog look back in his eyes.

“It’s ok.” I murmured, feeling heat rise again in me at the sight of his body. His long thighs were crisscrossed with scars, and he was still wiry and thin from our sojourn in the wastelands.

I let my thighs fall outward until I sat cross legged in front of him, and as I leaned forward to kiss him, I let my finger trail through his pubic hair and up the underside of his phallus from root to tip, circling the top with the lightest of touches. My eyes open while we kissed, I saw his eyelids flicker, and an expression of bliss cross his face. His breathing became ragged as I formed my finger and thumb into a loose circle, sliding up and down him. There was a flash of blue as Nux opened his eyes and ran his hands up the inside of my thighs, burying them in the soft fuzz of my pubic hair. Warmth exploded out from where his fingers touched me, and I pulled away from his kiss long enough to let out a low moan of pleasure.

I let the circle of my hand tighten around him, increasing the pressure as it slid slowly up and down, stopping to let my fingertip trace a looser spiral at the tip once more. He was hard as steel under the silk of his skin. He groaned, and used one hand under my bum to pull me forward onto his other hand, pushing his fingers inside me while his thumb traced a circle of its own over the nub at the top. I gasped, and let my head fall back, blinking my eyes against the sensations which threatened to overwhelm me. I felt his lips move down my neck and breast until they covered one nipple, his tongue flicking gently over it.

Feeling wantonness take over, I stepped my feet apart over his thighs, wanting nothing more than to have him inside me. Putting both hands under my buttocks, Nux lifted me onto his lap, close enough that my nipples brushed the scars on his chest. I raised my arms to clasp the back of his head with both hands, drawing him into a kiss more urgent than those which we had shared before. His lips pressed against mine hard enough to bruise, the slight stubble of his chin scraping my skin. I ground my hips against his, feeling his pubic hair brush against mine, tickling my inner thighs. His shaft twitched and slid against my lower lips, pushing them apart so that my body’s moisture was released, and the smell of my musk overtook his mingled scent of sweat and gasoline.

I was shaking with desire at this point, and so was he, but he pulled back from the kiss one more time, his blue eyes so close to mine that I had to lean my head back to focus on him. His cheeks were flushed, pupils dilated, but his crooked smile was tender as he lifted me again closer. I rocked my hips to meet him, feeling only the barest resistance as he impaled me in one slow thrust. The breath rushed out of me in a loud gasp, and I bit down on his shoulder gently to prevent myself from crying out, even as I heard his own inarticulate exclamation.

I started to rock my hips again, but his fingers dug into the soft flesh of my bum and he whispered urgently, “Don’t move.” Realising that Nux must be on the edge of orgasm I froze, resting my hands on his shoulders, trying to prevent my body from making the motions it so desperately wanted to. His breathing came in short shallow gasps, but after a moment he regained control, kissing me softly on the neck as he loosened his hold and encouraged the rise and fall of my hips with his hands.

Drowning in pleasure, I found myself letting out a low cry with every thrust, only dimly hearing his corresponding groans. His teeth grazed my neck; sinking one hand into my hair, he pulled me backward so that he could kiss my breasts again, my body arching like a bow. I crossed my ankles behind his back, squeezing my thighs against his flanks.

The combination of sensations pushed me almost to the tipping point and as he supported me leaning back, I let one hand fall to that tiny nub of flesh which was the centre of my pleasure, taking a moment to let my fingers brush the length of him as he thrust into me. I was so close anyway, it didn’t take long, and I let myself cry out as orgasm exploded out from my core, making me jerk and shudder violently. I was still quivering from the aftershocks when I felt his final quick thrusts, increasing in intensity until he yelled inarticulately and the pulse of his orgasm ran through me like a minor electric shock.

We collapsed against each other, both breathing in sharp ragged gasps that slowly returned to normal. I felt the pounding of my heart slow and a euphoric sense of relaxation as I sighed, and rested my head on his shoulder. Nux brushed a lock of my hair, damp with sweat, out of my eyes, and kissed my eyelids softly. We caressed each other’s backs languidly for a while, until his erection faded, and he lifted me gently off him and deposited me on the bed, enveloping me in a hug as I lay down on my back.

Neither of us seemed to feel the need to speak, and I found myself drifting off into a doze, sated and content.


	26. Chapter 26

We had sex (made love? Neither of us had mentioned the word) twice more that night; the first taking our time, exploring each other’s bodies with delight, the second slow and sleepy, more cuddly than passionate, both sinking into sleep the moment we were done, limbs entwined.

The gas lamp still burned fitfully in its embrasure when I opened my eyes again, but I could see the bright square of sunlight under the door, telling me it was day.

Feeling tired but also refreshed, happier than I’d been in days, maybe even since I’d arrived in this world, I sat up with a stretch and a yawn, disentangling myself from Nux. He shifted and opened one eye blearily. He flashed me a small lopsided smile, and curled his hand around my bum to draw me towards him. I raised my eyebrows, seeing that he was already erect, and then carefully removed his hand.

“I’ve got to go.” I reminded him wistfully, sad that I couldn’t spend the day in bed with him.

He sighed, and rolled off the bed in one clumsy movement, climbing into his cargo pants while I hunted for the pieces of material I had to call clothes.

“Where d’you get those trousers from?” I asked with frustration. “They’re way more practical than this stuff.” I wrapped the skirt piece around me like a towel, determined to have a bath before I went anywhere.

Nux shrugged. “Quartermaster.” He replied shortly, occupied with putting his boots on while he sat on the edge of the bed. I watched him wiggle his long toes into them, feeling that war boys definitely got the better deal when it came to clothes – I still didn’t even have shoes, and no one had ever offered me any.

Boots on, he looked up at me with another crooked smile, his eyes crinkling at the edges. One wiry arm reached out and pulled me onto his lap. I leaned against him, my head against his neck, twining his long fingers between my own.

“I really do have to go.” I stated reluctantly, not attempting to move.

I could feel his chuckle vibrating through his chest as he replied, “Yeah, know it. We’re organic, right?”

I laughed. “Sure, whatever that means.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed his scarred mouth. “Yes, we’re organic.” I slipped off his lap as he leaned forward for another kiss, and said teasingly, “You don’t get tired of it, do you.”

He grinned, and stood up. Rubbing his shaved head with the back of one hand, he tilted his face to look at me from under those long dark lashes of his. “Spent years too sick to do anything; now ‘m a full-life gotta make up for lost time.”

This statement aroused my compassion, and I felt my brows creasing into a sad frown. “Sorry you had to go through that.” I shook myself, remembering my duty. “Right; I’m going to have a bath.”

His expression of puzzlement and almost revulsion surprised me as I said the last part. “Why? It’s a waste of water.” He told me frowning as he wrinkled his nose.

“Cos I stink of sex, that’s why.” I retorted, opening the door of the room.

As I left the room I could hear his almost plaintive whisper behind me, “But I like the way you smell…”

Ignoring him, I tripped up the stairs to the balcony, noting that Cheedo’s door was still shut. I filled the brass bath with water and lowered myself into it with relief.

Nux’s head peeked around the top of the stairs. “’m gonna go then.” He said, and then stopped and turned his head at the sound of a door opening.

“Save some water for meee!” shouted Cheedo from below in a sing song voice.

Nux’s head disappeared. Curiously I got up to my knees in the bath so I could peek over the wall. Cheedo, wrapped in white material as if it were a mini sari, was hugging Hex while he and Nux nodded awkwardly at each other. She planted a final kiss on Hex’s mouth before she danced up the stairs towards me, his eyes following her intensely. Then he turned to Nux and I saw them share some private meaningful look which I didn’t quite understand, before they both left the vault.

“My turn, my turn!” My attention was caught by Cheedo, who was skipping around the bath tub naked, like some water nymph out of the old fairy tales. I tried not to stare at the perfection of her body, and averted my eyes as I clambered out and went to hose myself off. I heard a splash, sounding like she had jumped rather than lowered herself in.

“That was so chrome!” she exclaimed, humming as she scrubbed herself. “I had so much fun, it wasn’t like Joe at all – I got to drive an’ everything!” She cast me a sly glance, making her eyes look even more almond shaped. “Sounded like you had fun too.”

I smiled wanly; now that Nux was gone, I felt guilt over Capable returning, and a certain anxiety over where things were headed. “Yeah…yeah, it was awesome…” I paused and sighed, “I feel bad about Capable though.”

Cheedo shrugged, “She’ll get over it,” she said nonchalantly, “she thought he was dead before, and she was getting over that. Anyway,” she added, her eyes dancing, “there’s lots more where he came from!”

“You,” I laughed, training the hose on her face, so that she spluttered and squealed, “are shameless.”

After she was done, I got her to help me with knotting those stupid draperies for clothes, privately vowing that I was going to hunt down a pair of cargo pants. Then I set off for my day’s duties, munching on an apple Cheedo had pressed into my hand as I walked out the door.

It was early yet, long angled stripes of light falling across the vertical farm in the next room. I passed into the room with the circular pool, and stopped awkwardly.

Capable and Toast were there, sitting together in a corner. Toast’s arm was around Capable’s shoulders, and the red-haired girl’s eyes were red-rimmed and puffy. They looked up as I entered, and Capable immediately looked away, her mouth compressing in a grim line. Feeling terrible, I made a move to walk towards them, vaguely intending to apologise, or I don’t know, something, but Toast shook her head emphatically.

Slumping my shoulders, I walked quickly out of the room, reflecting that while I may have gained a lover, I had definitely lost a friend.

I was starting to know the route to the organic repair shop off by heart now, but as I walked along the stone corridors I became aware that there seemed to be more activity than usual; people bustling about even at this early hour. Feeling a little uneasy, but too shy to ask anyone what was going on, I hurried into the cable car room, barely noticing its unsettling movement as it traversed the gap between mesas. There seemed to be more people on the other side too; painted war boys and pups running about, some carrying long poles with ends that made them look like torches, but not quite.

I took the freight elevator down, wondering what was going on, and headed into the organic repair shop. Valkyrie and her guards were there, but there were no healed war boys or recruits of the other types, rather a crowd of skinny old men and women clothed in rags. I glanced questioningly to Valkyrie.

“Wretched,” she answered, following my eyes, “Can’t spare the others; need to teach them to fight. We’re bringing everyone inside; more activity on the Road. Can’t be long now before they come.”

I didn’t have to ask who ‘they’ were, and my spirits sank to think that the attack Furiosa had talked about was imminent. Feeling new urgency, I walked forward to a random sick war boy and went through the familiar ritual; ask his name (Volt was the answer), wait for my helpers to put their hands on me, take his hand, reach inside for that mysterious energy, try to recover in the time it took him to take in what had happened and for everyone else to do their weird ‘I live, I die, I live again’ thing. Rinse and repeat.

It’s odd how even the strangest events can become routine if we do them over and over again. I’d been at the Citadel for less than a week, and in this world itself for less than two, but already I had come to view this mysterious and unlikely process as my job, almost. I’d stopped being awed or upset by it, even though the idea of being attacked again lurked like a fearful undercurrent, and now took refuge in being as professional and efficient as possible. That day was annoying though, because the Wretched’s life streams were not nearly as vital as my previous helpers, and I found myself getting tired much quicker than the day before.

I was sitting on the rock floor gasping for breath, when there was a sudden flurry of activity and noise. Glancing up, I saw that a small trio of war pups had run into the room, breathing fast with exertion and excitement.

“They’re here, they’re here!” The smallest one shrieked, a boy of not more than six, jumping up and down on the lowest bench.

Instantly there was an answering hubbub of questions from the sick war boys, the less sick ones calling for war pups to help them up so they could go and see what was happening.

Valkyrie turned to one of her Vuvalini guards and ordered, “Stay here. I’ll be back as soon as I find out what’s going on.” She pointed a finger at me. “You, keep going.”

I nodded, unhappily aware that these war boys would be risking their lives again almost as soon as I healed them. Bending my head to my task once more, I felt the hands of the Wretched on my skin, and wondered what would happen once the siege actually started; did we have any chance of winning? No one around me seemed to be very confident about it, although the Citadel was many times more massive than Gastown. Shaking my head to dispel such gloomy thoughts, I reached inside to begin the exchange of energy.

Hours later I’d used up all the Wretched, and was once again teetering on the edge of consciousness. Valkyrie had still not returned, and the Vuvalini guards seemed edgy and worried. None of the sick War Boys who’d limped off or been half-carried to see what was going on had come back with more than reports of seeing a small group of bikes and cars on the road close to the Citadel.

Unable to walk, I lay on a stone bench which had recently been occupied by the last war boy I’d healed – a grey eyed youngster by the name of Cog, who now sat next to me looking as if he was torn between awe and concern for my welfare.

One of the Vuvalini guards came over and squatted down beside me; the short haired one I seemed to see all over the place.

“Sorry, but you’re supposed to continue until you’re…you’re out.” Here she at least had the decency to look embarrassed.

I let out a short, cynical laugh. “Didn’t realise I was a sweatshop worker.” I waved my hand at her blank look. “Never mind. Help me up.” This last was to Cog beside me. He drew me up with his hands under my elbows, the warmth and solidity of them making me realise how cold and tired I was. He and the Vuvalini guard helped me over to the next sick war boy.

“What’s your name?” I asked her quietly as she helped me sit down next to the sick boy.

She didn’t answer for a second, obviously assuming I was talking to the young man, and then she looked surprised and said, “Oh. I’m Eris.” She smiled at me, and I smiled back, sorry that I hadn’t taken the time to ask her and the other guard women before. They were a constant background presence in my life here, calm and silent.

I turned to the kid propped up on his elbows in front of me; he really was a kid, very young, very thin, with liquid dark eyes and olive skin showing under the combined pallor of sickness and paint.

“And you?” I asked, taking his hand.

“Pilau.” He answered in a husky whisper. Even through the war paint I could see the network of his blue veins, his skin translucent as it was drawn tight across his frame.

I nodded, thinking that this was a name unlike the others, but then the sensation of gluing started, and I passed into the altered state of the energy exchange. As I’d anticipated, doing it in this state without helpers was too much to handle, and before long I found myself sliding into blackness. My last thought was that I was really getting sick of fainting.


	27. Chapter 27

Again I awoke in darkness, although I could see shifting moonlight coming in from the open door. I was tired, bone tired, too weak to move from my sprawled position lying on my back on the dilapidated bed. Hunger gnawed at my insides, but even trying to prop myself up on my elbows was too much, so I just lay there, trying to drop back off to sleep again.

I dozed, but don’t think I fell asleep completely, and my eyes opened quickly when I heard the sound of Nux coming in, and saw his form outlined against the moonlight. He sat down on the edge of the bed and stroked my hair for a second before noticing my state of weakness.

He leaned forward, looking at my face and said, “You look shredded; they pushin’ too hard again?”

I nodded and whispered, “I’m hungry.”

He dipped his chin in acknowledgement and pulled out some dates. He always seemed to have dates, I guess they were his favorite. I was so weak he had to hand feed them to me one by one, but afterwards I felt a lot better.

“Water?” he asked. I licked my lips, and he disappeared for a few minutes, returning with some water in an actual glass. I drank it gratefully, and then lay back down with a sigh, feeling like I could now go to sleep.

Nux climbed into bed next to me, still with his boots on, and put his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close against his body.

“Saw Capable tonight.” He told me quietly without preamble.

I said nothing, too drained to feel more than a vague sense of unease.

“We..ah…” He stopped, and I felt the unease increase. He breathed deep, as if about to say something unpleasant.

“You slept with her, didn’t you.” I interrupted flatly.

His body jumped, as if I’d surprised him and then he said, “No, almost…but…no.” His voice ended on a thoughtful and melancholy note.

“Almost?” I echoed, confused.

His hand around my shoulders gripped me convulsively and he shifted restlessly. “It was so chrome when she said she would, thought everythin’ was going to be shiny,” Nux was gabbling in that way he had when his mouth couldn’t quite seem to keep up with his thoughts, but then his voice faltered and became more inward-looking, “felt wrong, like when a motor’s packing sand or somethin’. I was stiff, that weren’t the problem,” I rolled my eyes at this, “but it felt…mediocre. Not like she ain’t shiny, she’s sooo shiny. I dunno…couldn’t. Left.” He finished and turned on his side towards me, burying his head in the space between my shoulder and my neck. “’M I going half-life again?’ He whispered plaintively.

Although it cost me just to move, I took his hand and looked within, not trying to drain or fill with energy, simply trying to see it. His life aura was strong and vital; it was very tempting to siphon some off for myself. I resisted, and dropped his hand.

“You’re fine.” I told him curtly. He tensed at the tone of my voice, and removed the arm he’d been hugging me with.

“You angry?” he asked cautiously.

“No,” I replied, not adding that being angry with him would feel like kicking a puppy for peeing on the floor, “just a bit disappointed. I bet Capable was pretty upset,” I took his silence as confirmation, “and it would’ve been nice if you’d maybe, I dunno, told me you were going to spend the night with her.” I sighed, and ran my fingers through the hair at the top of my scalp, “I can’t deal with this right now, I’m too out of it; can we just go to sleep?”

I closed my eyes, trying to relax. There were a few minutes of silence, while Nux curled next to me, his face still buried in my neck but his arms crossed across his body in a defensive posture.

After a while, he said quietly, “Take some, you need it,” and clasped my hand in both of his.

I blinked, coming out of a doze. “What?”

“Some life; here, take it, it’ll fix you up.” He offered, shaking my hand as if trying to start the process himself. There was a childish eagerness to his manner, and I could tell he was trying to make amends.

I shook my head against the temptation; I was so very tired. God, you’re turning into a bloody vampire, I thought dryly. “I don’t have that much control, man.” I told him. “Might take too much.”

He dropped my hand, and placed both of his on my shoulder. “Like this maybe? Did that way with Furiosa and you didn’t take too much.”

I took one of his hands and raised it to my lips, kissing it wearily. “Not when you’re the only one. I can’t risk it. Thanks though.” Still holding onto his hand, I pulled his arm across my body, sliding my fingers up and down his forearm. He responded by kissing my neck and burying his face deeper.

“Sorry.” I felt rather than heard his whisper.

“’S ok.” I yawned.

There was a long silence, so long that I started to doze off again. Nux shifted, and then started to fidget, knocking his boots against the bed frame.

“What now?” I sighed, trying to keep the irritation out of my voice.

“I was…” he stopped awkwardly, “I was thinking ‘bout you when I was…uh…with Capable.”

“Ok?” I breathed, not sure what he was getting at.

He shifted again, and slid his other arm underneath me, pulling me closer. “I mean, that’s why I couldn’t…” he trailed off, and hugged me tighter.

“Oh.” I thought about this for awhile, and the more I thought about it, the less sense it made. Finally I couldn’t take it anymore, and sat up, or more accurately, tried to sit up, and ended up falling back on my elbows with a gasp. “Hold on, what happened to the whole wanting both of us deal?”

Nux buried his face in my side. “I don’t know, I don’t know!” he wailed. “I still do…”

I let myself fall back on the bed, confusion and frustration warring within me. “I don’t understand.” I admitted.

“Wanted to but it felt wrong.” He mumbled against my skin, having returned his head to my neck.

I shrugged. “Isn’t this sort of what me and Capable have been telling you all along?” I bit my lip. “I hope you weren’t too mean to her.”

“She gave me a shredding; told me not talk to her ever.” He sounded unhappy.

“I don’t blame her.” I retorted callously; he was going to have to learn somehow.

“You hate me too?” Definite puppy dog whine in that voice.

I sighed, wishing that I could just sleep, but aware that by getting romantically involved with him, I’d signed up for this in a way. “No, I don’t hate you. Please, I really need to sleep; I know you’re messed up here, but I can’t think about it properly right now. Can’t we talk about this in the morning?”

I closed my eyes, letting my arm fall across my face. He nuzzled closer to me, but said nothing. I could feel his tension as he curled close to me, and knew he wanted to continue the conversation, but I didn’t care, I just wanted to sleep. I breathed deeper, feeling myself fall down into forgetfulness.

Suddenly it was morning, and I was blinking awake to the shaft of sunlight streaming past the open door. Somehow we’d shifted around in the night, and I was now lying curled against Nux, while he was the one lying on his back, his arm around me. I was still pretty tired, so instead of getting up, I cuddled closer to him and let my eyes close again. The motion must’ve woken him – I had a feeling war boys didn’t live long if they weren’t light sleepers – and he stroked my shoulder sleepily, leaning his head in to kiss my mouth.

“Mornin’.” I yawned, only half-opening my eyes. I was determined to have at least one morning sleeping in, no matter how urgent the situation outside my room was.

His answer was to kiss me again, pushing my tangled hair back from my forehead. I responded with a happy sigh; this was a much better way to wake up than rushing off to the organic repair shop. I caressed his chest, running my hand lightly over his scars, and then lifted my arm so I could touch his face, pulling him in for a deeper kiss.

Sure, we both had morning breath, but I hadn’t seen a toothbrush in a long time, and everyone here just seemed to rub their teeth and gums with their fingers. You get used to it after awhile, the same way you get used to the smell when no one bathes much.

He wrapped his arms tighter around me and pulled me slightly onto his chest. At this point I opened my eyes, staring into his cobalt ones, his dark lashes still sticky with sleep. His eyebrows were raised in that puppy dog look of appeal, and as I kissed his scarred lips again, I realised he was trying to say something. I raised an eyebrow questioningly.

“You’re not angry?” He asked in a low tone, his hands caressing my back.

I shook my head, “No. Life’s complicated; sometimes things get confusing.” I felt like there was a lot more I could say; about how I owed him my life ten times over and even if he’d stayed with Capable like he planned in the desert, I would still be his friend. Or how he seemed to be going through the kind of relationship explorations that people in my world – or at least my part of the world – went through when they were in their teens. But I didn’t. Instead I simply leaned in to kiss his mouth again, and experienced an overwhelming sense of warmth and affection when he responded fervently and our tongues touched.

Eventually he broke the kiss, planting a smaller quicker one on my cheek, and hugged me closer, pulling me across his body, so that I lay on top of him. He buried his face in my neck and then said in a muffled voice, “This is why you’re shiny. You’re my lancer.” He paused, and I had time to reflect that I still didn’t know what that meant, although it obviously held great meaning for him. “I love you.” He continued in a small voice, his body tensed as if expecting rejection.

I kissed his temple, “Yeah, me too.” I answered. I hesitated, trying to get the courage to say the actual words, words that I hadn’t said many times in my life – not that I could remember anyway.

Just as I was about to say it, there was a sudden blaring of noise, so loud that I rolled off him, covering my ears, and screaming with the shock of it. It went on and on, a terrible mechanical wailing that penetrated my bones. I still had my hands over my ears while Nux sat up like a shot, grabbing my arm and pulling me off the bed with him. Looking up, I could see he was shouting something, but I couldn’t hear it over the all-encompassing noise, which I now recognised to be some sort of siren.

He dragged me out of the room, and I saw that Cheedo had also dashed out of her own quarters, looking scared and dazed. She ran to me and hugged me, her body quivering with sobs. “What’s going on?!” I heard her shriek above the cacophony.

“I don’t know!” I screamed back, shaking my head.

Nux leaned in close to my ear, still holding onto my arm at the elbow, “Gotta take you to the War Boys!” He yelled, so near that I felt like my eardrum was about to burst.

“What is it?! Is it the attack?!” I yelled back, cupping my hand over his ear. He nodded, and pulled me towards the door, Cheedo in tow because she was still hanging onto me.


	28. Chapter 28

Again I awoke in darkness, although I could see shifting moonlight coming in from the open door. I was tired, bone tired, too weak to move from my sprawled position lying on my back on the dilapidated bed. Hunger gnawed at my insides, but even trying to prop myself up on my elbows was too much, so I just lay there, trying to drop back off to sleep again.  
I dozed, but don’t think I fell asleep completely, and my eyes opened quickly when I heard the sound of Nux coming in, and saw his form outlined against the moonlight. He sat down on the edge of the bed and stroked my hair for a second before noticing my state of weakness.   
He leaned forward, looking at my face and said, “You look shredded; they pushin’ too hard again?”  
I nodded and whispered, “I’m hungry.”  
He dipped his chin in acknowledgement and pulled out some dates. He always seemed to have dates, I guess they were his favorite. I was so weak he had to hand feed them to me one by one, but afterwards I felt a lot better.  
“Water?” he asked. I licked my lips, and he disappeared for a few minutes, returning with some water in an actual glass. I drank it gratefully, and then lay back down with a sigh, feeling like I could now go to sleep.  
Nux climbed into bed next to me, still with his boots on, and put his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close against his body.  
“Saw Capable tonight.” He told me quietly without preamble.  
I said nothing, too drained to feel more than a vague sense of unease.  
“We..ah…” He stopped, and I felt the unease increase. He breathed deep, as if about to say something unpleasant.  
“You slept with her, didn’t you.” I interrupted flatly.  
His body jumped, as if I’d surprised him and then he said, “No, almost…but…no.” His voice ended on a thoughtful and melancholy note.  
“Almost?” I echoed, confused.  
His hand around my shoulders gripped me convulsively and he shifted restlessly. “It was so chrome when she said she would, thought everythin’ was going to be shiny,” Nux was gabbling in that way he had when his mouth couldn’t quite seem to keep up with his thoughts, but then his voice faltered and became more inward-looking, “felt wrong, like when a motor’s packing sand or somethin’. I was stiff, that weren’t the problem,” I rolled my eyes at this, “but it felt…mediocre. Not like she ain’t shiny, she’s sooo shiny. I dunno…couldn’t. Left.” He finished and turned on his side towards me, burying his head in the space between my shoulder and my neck. “’M I going half-life again?’ He whispered plaintively.  
Although it cost me just to move, I took his hand and looked within, not trying to drain or fill with energy, simply trying to see it. His life aura was strong and vital; it was very tempting to siphon some off for myself. I resisted, and dropped his hand.  
“You’re fine.” I told him curtly. He tensed at the tone of my voice, and removed the arm he’d been hugging me with.  
“You angry?” he asked cautiously.  
“No,” I replied, not adding that being angry with him would feel like kicking a puppy for peeing on the floor, “just a bit disappointed. I bet Capable was pretty upset,” I took his silence as confirmation, “and it would’ve been nice if you’d maybe, I dunno, told me you were going to spend the night with her.” I sighed, and ran my fingers through the hair at the top of my scalp, “I can’t deal with this right now, I’m too out of it; can we just go to sleep?”  
I closed my eyes, trying to relax. There were a few minutes of silence, while Nux curled next to me, his face still buried in my neck but his arms crossed across his body in a defensive posture.   
After a while, he said quietly, “Take some, you need it,” and clasped my hand in both of his.  
I blinked, coming out of a doze. “What?”  
“Some life; here, take it, it’ll fix you up.” He offered, shaking my hand as if trying to start the process himself. There was a childish eagerness to his manner, and I could tell he was trying to make amends.  
I shook my head against the temptation; I was so very tired. God, you’re turning into a bloody vampire, I thought dryly. “I don’t have that much control, man.” I told him. “Might take too much.”  
He dropped my hand, and placed both of his on my shoulder. “Like this maybe? Did that way with Furiosa and you didn’t take too much.”  
I took one of his hands and raised it to my lips, kissing it wearily. “Not when you’re the only one. I can’t risk it. Thanks though.” Still holding onto his hand, I pulled his arm across my body, sliding my fingers up and down his forearm. He responded by kissing my neck and burying his face deeper.  
“Sorry.” I felt rather than heard his whisper.   
“’S ok.” I yawned.  
There was a long silence, so long that I started to doze off again. Nux shifted, and then started to fidget, knocking his boots against the bed frame.  
“What now?” I sighed, trying to keep the irritation out of my voice.  
“I was…” he stopped awkwardly, “I was thinking ‘bout you when I was…uh…with Capable.”  
“Ok?” I breathed, not sure what he was getting at.  
He shifted again, and slid his other arm underneath me, pulling me closer. “I mean, that’s why I couldn’t…” he trailed off, and hugged me tighter.  
“Oh.” I thought about this for awhile, and the more I thought about it, the less sense it made. Finally I couldn’t take it anymore, and sat up, or more accurately, tried to sit up, and ended up falling back on my elbows with a gasp. “Hold on, what happened to the whole wanting both of us deal?”  
Nux buried his face in my side. “I don’t know, I don’t know!” he wailed. “I still do…”  
I let myself fall back on the bed, confusion and frustration warring within me. “I don’t understand.” I admitted.  
“Wanted to but it felt wrong.” He mumbled against my skin, having returned his head to my neck.  
I shrugged. “Isn’t this sort of what me and Capable have been telling you all along?” I bit my lip. “I hope you weren’t too mean to her.”  
“She gave me a shredding; told me not talk to her ever.” He sounded unhappy.  
“I don’t blame her.” I retorted callously; he was going to have to learn somehow.  
“You hate me too?” Definite puppy dog whine in that voice.  
I sighed, wishing that I could just sleep, but aware that by getting romantically involved with him, I’d signed up for this in a way. “No, I don’t hate you. Please, I really need to sleep; I know you’re messed up here, but I can’t think about it properly right now. Can’t we talk about this in the morning?”  
I closed my eyes, letting my arm fall across my face. He nuzzled closer to me, but said nothing. I could feel his tension as he curled close to me, and knew he wanted to continue the conversation, but I didn’t care, I just wanted to sleep. I breathed deeper, feeling myself fall down into forgetfulness.  
Suddenly it was morning, and I was blinking awake to the shaft of sunlight streaming past the open door. Somehow we’d shifted around in the night, and I was now lying curled against Nux, while he was the one lying on his back, his arm around me. I was still pretty tired, so instead of getting up, I cuddled closer to him and let my eyes close again. The motion must’ve woken him – I had a feeling war boys didn’t live long if they weren’t light sleepers – and he stroked my shoulder sleepily, leaning his head in to kiss my mouth.  
“Mornin’.” I yawned, only half-opening my eyes. I was determined to have at least one morning sleeping in, no matter how urgent the situation outside my room was.  
His answer was to kiss me again, pushing my tangled hair back from my forehead. I responded with a happy sigh; this was a much better way to wake up than rushing off to the organic repair shop. I caressed his chest, running my hand lightly over his scars, and then lifted my arm so I could touch his face, pulling him in for a deeper kiss.   
Sure, we both had morning breath, but I hadn’t seen a toothbrush in a long time, and everyone here just seemed to rub their teeth and gums with their fingers. You get used to it after awhile, the same way you get used to the smell when no one bathes much.  
He wrapped his arms tighter around me and pulled me slightly onto his chest. At this point I opened my eyes, staring into his cobalt ones, his dark lashes still sticky with sleep. His eyebrows were raised in that puppy dog look of appeal, and as I kissed his scarred lips again, I realised he was trying to say something. I raised an eyebrow questioningly.  
“You’re not angry?” He asked in a low tone, his hands caressing my back.  
I shook my head, “No. Life’s complicated; sometimes things get confusing.” I felt like there was a lot more I could say; about how I owed him my life ten times over and even if he’d stayed with Capable like he planned in the desert, I would still be his friend. Or how he seemed to be going through the kind of relationship explorations that people in my world – or at least my part of the world – went through when they were in their teens. But I didn’t. Instead I simply leaned in to kiss his mouth again, and experienced an overwhelming sense of warmth and affection when he responded fervently and our tongues touched.  
Eventually he broke the kiss, planting a smaller quicker one on my cheek, and hugged me closer, pulling me across his body, so that I lay on top of him. He buried his face in my neck and then said in a muffled voice, “This is why you’re shiny. You’re my lancer.” He paused, and I had time to reflect that I still didn’t know what that meant, although it obviously held great meaning for him. “Love you.” He continued in a small voice, his body tensed as if expecting rejection.  
I kissed his temple, “Yeah, me too.” I answered. I hesitated, trying to get the courage to say the actual words, words that I hadn’t said many times in my life – not that I could remember anyway.  
Just as I was about to say it, there was a sudden blaring of noise, so loud that I rolled off him, covering my ears, and screaming with the shock of it. It went on and on, a terrible mechanical wailing that penetrated my bones. I still had my hands over my ears while Nux sat up like a shot, grabbing my arm and pulling me off the bed with him. Looking up, I could see he was shouting something, but I couldn’t hear it over the all-encompassing noise, which I now recognised to be some sort of siren.  
He dragged me out of the room, and I saw that Cheedo had also dashed out of her own quarters, looking scared and dazed. She ran to me and hugged me, her body quivering with sobs. “What’s going on?!” I heard her shriek above the cacophony.  
“I don’t know!” I screamed back, shaking my head.  
Nux leaned in close to my ear, still holding onto my arm at the elbow, “Gotta take you to the War Boys!” He yelled, so near that I felt like my eardrum was about to burst.  
“What is it?! Is it the attack?!” I yelled back, cupping my hand over his ear. He nodded, and pulled me towards the door, Cheedo in tow because she was still hanging onto me.


	29. Chapter 29

We passed through the vertical garden room and the circular pool room without seeing anyone, that terrible klaxon going off the whole time. But when we entered the throne room it was filled with people engaged in what was obviously an emergency war strategy meeting; Furiosa was jabbing at her table map rapidly, and shouting above the lessened sound of the siren. Around the table stood Valkyrie and a group of Vuvalini, as well as Toast, Capable, and another group of the Maori mother goddess-types. A little way back stood a white painted War Boy and one of the hangman masked guards, attentive as if awaiting orders.  
No one heard us come in, but Cheedo left my side and ran over to Capable, hugging her in the same frightened way she had with me. Capable looked up and saw us, and a series of emotions passed across her face; anger, sadness, fear, before she gained control and brought her features into a mask of calm efficiency. Nux dragged me over to the table, and Furiosa turned to look at us, finally realising we were there.  
“You, get down to the organic repair shop. Wretched are waiting, and I need warriors as soon as possible. Just keep ‘em coming ‘til I tell you to stop, no more breaks. Tell them to go to the front door when they’re cured.” She told me brusquely, her sapphire eyes glinting with determination and battle lust. “You,” she turned to Nux, “get down to the mechanics; I don’t have enough flamethrowers up, and I need more bombs. Now!” She turned back to see me still standing there, barking in a tone of command.  
Shaking with terror, I caught Nux’s eye for a second, long enough to share an unspoken goodbye, and then dashed out of the room and down the maze of stone corridors to the cable car room. All around me people were running, carrying weapons, shouting, lugging boxes of ammo or those weird torches. The noise and confusion was deafening, and the siren, slightly quieter now, was an undercurrent of urgency pushing us all along.  
The Vuvalini attendant shoved me into the cable car and pulled the lever in a hurry, and I found myself jerking along over the void between mesas.  
The sirens were muffled now that I was away from the Citadel and from below me I could hear the sounds of explosions and gunfire. Frightened but curious, I leaned out of the window, and saw small tongues and blossoms of flame, many vehicles and the tiny doll-like bodies of men. It was so remote and chaotic I had a hard time telling what was going on, but it looked like the entrance to the Citadel was under attack and repelling boarders with industrial size flamethrowers. Transfixed by this, I didn’t even notice I’d come to the other side until the girders and rock of the next mesa began to interfere with my view.  
A ghost-white war boy helped me out of the car and I ran the distance to the freight elevator, punching the button in my haste. A few minutes more and I was skidding into the organic repair shop out of breath, while the War Pups and Wretched crowded round me and the sick War Boys craned their heads and demanded to know if war had started. There were no guards for me, I guess they just couldn’t spare them, and I had no time to think of the implications of that.  
Leaning my hands on my knees to catch my breath, I shouted above the din of the siren and babble of questioning voices, “We’re under attack! Furiosa says to go to the front door when you’re ready.” As soon as I’d said the words I strode over to the first war boy, giving the group of Wretched a look to show them I was ready. I didn’t ask the poor kid lying there for his name; there was no time for that anymore. I simply grabbed his hand and hurriedly searched within myself to start the process of giving him energy.  
When I was done, he jumped to his feet and for the first time didn’t do the whole ‘I live, I die, I live again’ thing. Instead he punched the air and screamed, “War!” The entire room echoed him as he ran out of the room. Briefly I wondered if I would ever see him again, or if he would die minutes from now under a hail of bullets or ball of flame. No time for that, no time to think about it; I jumped up, driven by pure adrenaline, and started on the next one.  
And so it went on, while the distant blue shafts of sunlight reaching down from the holes in the roof crossed the floor, and I grew wearier and wearier. The whole time the sirens wailed and below them I could hear the distant sounds of battle, echoing hollowly around the long hall. There was an intense aura of urgency and anticipation in the room, the war boys impatient to be cured and go off to fight, possibly to die again. For the first time I could really see why they had the religion they did; it made them anticipate war rather than fear it.  
I tried not to think about what would happen if things didn’t go our way, or the fact that I’d had nothing to eat or drink all day. At around midday, a very harassed looking Vuvalini guard came in and rounded up all the war pups and led them away. I had lost count of how many men I’d healed, or what time it was; caught in a never ending cycle that was rapidly becoming a downward spiral into exhaustion. Eventually I reached the point where I couldn’t stand up; the last war boy I’d healed picked me up unceremoniously and carried me over to the next young man, before dumping me on the bench next to him and running off with that same yell of ‘War!’. We were almost as badly off as each other, both slumped with enervation. Shakily I took his hand and began the process.   
I was beginning to notice that this group of Wretched was also rotating, getting more and more shaky and tired themselves. I hoped Furiosa hadn’t told them to keep going until they dropped too. And all the while, the echo of high speed metal and dynamite, the distant roar of screams and engines, went on outside, floating up to us. Part of me wished I could go and lean out of a window and watch it all, like the most immersive 3D movie ever made. But the more sober part realised that this was not mere entertainment, and my own life rested on the outcome. I was also painfully aware that if I were not doing this impossible task, I would probably be trying to shoot people or lobbing bombs to help out, and that was likely to get me killed.  
So I continued without complaining, until finally I healed one too many, and passed out, the Wretched’s life streams dim and faint by this point.  
When I woke up it was to someone shaking me relentlessly. Dazed and exhausted, I blinked my eyes open, looking up into the pale face of a Vuvalini guard, the pallor of fear and fatigue under her tan rather than any paint. She hauled me up, and I saw that Furiosa and Valkyrie stood there at the entrance of the room, holding a black dressed, black hooded man between them, chained and kneeling with a gun at his temple.  
“Over here!” Furiosa beckoned me imperiously over the shrill wail of the sirens. The Vuvalini woman helped me over with a hand around my waist and my arm over her shoulders. I was too weak to walk, even breathing took effort.  
Once I was in front of them, head lolling and feet dragging, I saw Valkyrie shoot me a look of pure pity, and wondered at it. She’d seen me in a worse way than this before, why was she looking at me like things were about to get really bad? And then it came to me, like a blinding flash behind my temples; the only reason they could possibly bring a captive here, to me.  
I glanced at Valkyrie questioningly and she shook her head, and whispered, “Sorry, I had to tell her.”  
I looked over at Furiosa, who had been watching this exchange impatiently, and my face must’ve said more than a thousand words.  
“That’s right.” She said harshly, confirming my unspoken fears. “I want you to drain this filth dry, eat him, whatever it is you do, and give his life to the War Boys.” She rammed the muzzle of the gun, some old school sawn off shotgun, against the temple of the masked man in emphasis of her words. He cursed, and spat blood at my bare feet, trying to struggle to standing in spite of the boots that Furiosa and Valkyrie had stamped down behind each of his knees.  
I shook my head, feeling my mouth drop open in horror. I tried to recoil, but the Vuvalini guard was pretty much the only thing holding me up, and she wasn’t budging. I breathed in wide eyed, panic threatening to overtake me.  
“I won’t, I won’t do it, it’s wrong!” I protested weakly, struggling in the grip of the Vuvalini woman. “This is not – we’ll be just as bad as them, don’t you see?!” I stared into Furiosa’s eyes pleadingly, but there was no mercy there, either for him or for me.   
“You’re turning me into a monster!” I yelled, anger overtaking horror. Surging inside me was a hate for this woman who had directed my life for the past week, forcing me to constantly play around with the life forces of other people.  
There was a heavy silence from the sick war boys around the room; I knew I couldn’t expect much sympathy from them on this, all they wanted to do was become well enough to fight, and nowhere in this Citadel had I ever gotten the sense that the Geneva Convention, or any normal civilized morals, would apply in time of war here.  
Furiosa laughed shortly, and in spite of her iron self-control, I could see her eyes blaze with the emotion she was named for. “Monster? You’d have to go a long way before you reached the depths of these filth.” She brought the butt of the shotgun down on the captive’s head, just hard enough to make him jerk and blink, but not enough to put him out. Valkyrie yanked the chains wrapped around his hands and throat so his head snapped back, and Furiosa reached out with her metal hand and whipped off his black hood.  
Underneath it was a face pale with lack of sun, bleached eyes and shaved head, not unlike the war boys, but with one major difference; his teeth were filed to sharp points, horribly visible as he snarled up at the two women.  
“We didn’t call their leader the People Eater for nothing.” Furiosa spat, and then aimed the gun towards me. “Don’t have time for this; drain him or die with him.”  
I gasped with disbelief, my mouth open in shock. Hitting me like the impact of ice water on a hot day came the realisation that this was the defining moment where I was no longer an ally, but merely a slave, coerced into doing things that were morally abhorrent to me. Floating up from the depths of memory came the quotes from every low level war criminal in history; ‘they made me do it’, ‘I was just following orders’, or ‘it was them or us’. But I had no time to think about it; Furiosa cocked the gun with an ominous click, her eyes narrowing, and I knew that she meant every word she said.  
Shaking with revulsion and fear I raised my hand and then stopped. “I need skin contact.” I pointed out, not willing to touch his face in case he decided to bite me with those filed teeth. Valkyrie leaned forward and ripped his black shirt from his throat to his waist, revealing the same unhealthy pallor, dotted with scars.  
The Vuvalini guard edged me forward, while the unfortunate captive tried desperately to thrash free, his eyes widening. I don’t know how much he understood of our conversation, but he obviously understood enough to know that what was about to come next could not be good for him.


	30. Chapter 30

For a moment, our eyes met, and I stared into his pale mad ones with a mixture of horror and pity. Maybe he did deserve to die, but like this? I was crossing that invisible line between human and inhuman behavior, and whether he’d gone there before me or not was not the point. He snarled at me as my fingers touched his chest, his skin clammy with fear.  
“I am so, so sorry.” I whispered, letting my palm rest against him. And then I discovered that it wasn’t so much a case of wanting to, as Capable had supposed, but a question of needing to; my fear of being shot driving the process this time.   
The gluing sensation started and he gave a convulsive jerk, as if I were a magnet and his chest made of iron. Dimly I sensed the three women around me stepping back, no longer feeling the grip of the Vuvalini guard.   
His life energy crashed into me like a wave, intense and violent. I felt it surge through me, and realised that because I’d gone in with the intention to take it all, I was, all at once. Euphoria and revulsion overwhelmed me in equal measure as my back straightened and all weakness left me. I could see his face, his eyes glazed, mouthing hanging open, and hoped desperately that this wasn’t too painful for him, as if somehow that made it better.  
And then he was dust, his clothes and chains falling to the floor with a clatter. I stood there gasping, staring at my hands; my sight kept switching back and forth between normality and this strange vision where I pulsed with red energy, my veins a network of glowing currents.  
There was a small sound and I looked around, to see Furiosa still pointing the gun at me. Its barrel quivered not at all, but her blue eyes held a new emotion when she stared at me, not fear, not horror, but almost a sense of awe. But that gun barrel still waved me over to the war boys, and her eyes narrowed as she waited to be obeyed.  
Feeling as if right now I could fight the whole opposing army by myself, exhilaration streaking through me in waves, I strode over to the nearest war boy, and without further ado, transferred energy to him. Not all of it, he didn’t need all of it, but it was quicker and more intense than when I usually did it with my volunteer helpers.  
“Make it count.” I whispered harshly as he stood up. He gazed down at me, his eyes almost as pale as the one I’d killed, and then he did a strange thing.  
He kissed me on the cheek, just a quick peck, and whispered in my ear, “By your hand I am redeemed.” He leaned back and grinned. “Thank you for his life.” Then he turned to the rest of the room and punched the air, screaming, “War!” before looking at Furiosa questioningly for orders.  
“They’re skulking on the road for the night,” Furiosa told him, and as she said it, I realised with a shock that it was already dark, “Building up a sortie to worry ‘em around the edges. Follow me.” She beckoned him over with her metal hand, and then surveyed the room. “Rest of you; once you’re healed come to the front door.”  
The crowd of young men did their strange over the head prayer as she and the healed War Boy left the room. I looked at Valkyrie; she avoided my eyes, and said, “Keep going.”  
I gritted my teeth, hating her too in that moment, and went on to the next sick war boy.  
It must’ve been past midnight when the last dregs of energy, mine, the captor’s, it didn’t matter, left me, and I passed into comforting oblivion. I’d healed many men in that time, more than ever before, and so quickly that there was almost a steady stream of war boys running jubilantly out of the room, and the benches began to empty. I had to admit that though Furiosa’s strategy had been abhorrent, it had worked better than I’d ever imagined. As darkness claimed me, I could only hope that there wouldn’t be any more captives.  
I was lying on one of the cold stone benches, but it was the warmth of a man’s body curled around me which woke me. For a moment I thought it was some random war boy in search of comfort, and tensed against the arm folded over me, but then the reassuring whisper of Nux’s voice reverberated against the back of my neck.  
“Just me.”  
Somehow having him there broke the cold resolve I’d been using to keep myself going since I’d killed the captive. Convulsively I twisted around until I faced him in a foetal position, burying my face against his chest with my knees wedged against him, and burst into silent choking tears. His arms hugged me tightly, and he stroked my hair, pushing my knees down so he could press me closer to his body.  
“Shhh, shush.” He whispered in my ear, his voice trembling as if he wasn’t quite sure how to deal with this. He smelled of engine grease, sulfur and sweat, and I filled my lungs with it, trying to gain comfort from his solidity.  
After a little I ran out of tears, and just lay there, feeling numb and drained as he stroked me.   
“Know you don’t feel it, but you did a good thing today.” He told me softly, kissing the top of my head.  
My heart sank; so he didn’t understand either. The gulf between our worlds was too great to bridge in this instant, but somehow I still felt I had to try.   
I raised my head to look up at him and said in a choking voice, “No, I didn’t. I murdered a prisoner of war, and in my world, that’s…” I searched for a phrase that would sum up how truly awful it was, “it makes me worse than him, whatever he’s done.”  
There was a flicker of compassion in the cobalt eyes shadowed under his long lashes as he looked down at me. Nux kissed me gently on the lips, the roughness of his scars brushing along them. “Hard to call for mercy when it’s war.” he commented. “’s what makes you different.”  
I shook my head. “It shouldn’t. God, I hate this place!” I hissed desperately. He stiffened, and I realised how that must sound.  
“Not you, never you.” I added quickly. “I just don’t…it’s too brutal. I want to go home; I don’t belong here.” And I don’t want to, I added silently.  
Nux crushed me to him almost fiercely, and whispered in my ear, “Don’t want you to go.”  
I shook my head again, tears flying from the sides of my eyes, the breath choking in my throat. I didn’t know what to say. I loved him, but I hated his world. And I was trapped there.   
He sighed sadly at my response, and his lips dragged across my neck in a slow kiss. Almost unbelievably for the situation I felt heat rise in me, the desire to drive away pain and fear by losing myself in pleasure. But it was an impossibility – at least for me; all around us were the restless night sounds of a hundred war boys; snoring, shifting in their sleep, coming awake with great hacking coughs.  
The problem was solved by the entrance of a squad of war boys carrying their wounded; participants from Furiosa’s night sortie. I sat up, knowing what was expected of me. How many lives must you save to balance out one, no two, I reminded myself, murders? I determined to put my angst behind me and at least do what good I could. The sooner we won, the sooner I could look for a way home.  
It wasn’t too bad, there were only a couple, and their wounds were light; I was still conscious when I was done. One of the younger ones, dark eyed, grinned at me and said teasingly, “No prisoners, Redeemer.”  
Instantly one of his older, more serious fellows cuffed him hard around the head and said, “Respect.”  
Chastened, the younger one made the strange over the head prayer motion to me and slunk off. I watched him go, thinking that it was probably a good thing he wasn’t totally in awe of me, but still unhappy that something so horrible was taken so lightly by these young men.  
Nux gave the older one who’d defended me a nod of approval, one which was reciprocated. The War Boy came over, and I recognised him, but couldn’t remember his name. Gray eyes, broken nose…”Grouser?” I hazarded.  
“Yup.” He glanced at Nux. “Nux the Traitor?”  
Nux sighed glumly, but nodded.  
Grouser chuckled, “Reckon we’re all traitors now, after tonight. Blooded those Gas Town filth for our traitoress Imperator Furiosa. Glory be, she leads a good fight!” His eyes shone with the memory of it.  
“Yeah, she’s chrome. Should’ve seen her on the war rig fightin’ Joe; she was proper historic.” answered Nux eagerly. “Would’ve gone with y’ tonight but she had me fixing flamethrowers; ‘m a blackthumb.”  
Not wanting to hear about how awesome Furiosa was right then, I stood up to go and start the whole healing production line again, and then staggered at the feeling of emptiness in my stomach.  
“I’m starving.” I told Nux when he reached up an arm to steady me. “I don’t think I’ve eaten since…” I tried to think, “day before yesterday?”  
“Always hungry, aren’t you?” joked Nux, the warmth of his eyes talking about more than food.  
Grouser glanced from him to me and back again with a knowing smile, but said nothing, instead fishing a bag of nuts out of his cargo pants pocket. He tossed it to me, and I fumbled it, grabbing it from the ground with the intensity of hunger. I stuffed a large handful in my mouth, and then tied it to the knot holding my skirt together.  
“When are you going to get me some trousers?” I demanded of Nux indistinctly, feeling like I had that chipmunk look again. He shrugged non-committally.  
Grouser’s eyes raked over me with a look of clinical appraisal. “War Pup gear should fit ya. Be right back.” He left the room with a wave.  
“Shinier in a skirt.” Nux muttered under his breath, watching Grouser darkly as he walked away.  
“But really annoying.” I pointed out, heading over to a sick war boy who had been watching all this with interest. “No pockets.”  
“Back to work.” Sighed Nux, standing up and giving me a quick kiss and hug before he left the room. The young man I was headed to glanced at me curiously and then blushed. I had a feeling Nux had just destroyed some of the reverence this youngster felt for me; the unapproachable Redeemer may suck the very life out of people, but she still lets a War Boy, and a traitor to boot, kiss her.  
Sunlight was beginning to show from the doorways at either end of the room, but it was too early for the sun to have climbed high enough to shine down the long shafts in the ceiling. A crowd of war pups dashed in carrying food and water, distributing it to the war boys too ill to walk. I grabbed a metal cup of water and one of those awful hard tack biscuits from a lanky painted kid who looked all of nine, but already had a fine collection of scarification, and then set to work.  
A small crowd of Wretched arrived soon after; no Vuvalini guards this time, they were led by one of their own, a wizened scrawny woman with white hair reaching her waist and luminous dark eyes starring out of her lined tanned face.  
“Help y’ til we drops.” She told me, baring her toothless gums in a startling grin. I nodded, relieved that no one was bringing me captives to kill. As I started to pour energy into this latest young man and felt the Wretcheds’ life streams dim against the outgoing river, I reflected again that it had been a really good, if amoral idea on Furiosa’s part. I hated that, but my thoughts were cut off by the sound of explosions starting below. Another day, another battle.


	31. Chapter 31

It went slower that morning with just the Wretched to help. I was in the middle of an energy transfer when suddenly there was an explosion that sounded a lot closer, and the walls of the room shook and reverberated with the noise.

The boy I’d just healed stood up trembling with excitement, and as he helped me to my feet he breathed, “They’re inside!” before running out of the room.

I and the Wretched were making our way slowly and wearily to the next impatient war boy when another explosion echoed through the chamber, and after it the distinct sounds of bullets and screams.

Getting more and more anxious, I healed this young man as quickly as I could. When I was done the old Wretched female leader grabbed him by the wrist before he could dash off and said urgently, “Kid, think the battle’s coming to us. Any weapons hiding ‘round here?”

The War Boy, whose name was Pin, and on the younger side, nodded and directed the Wretched to the top benches. These revealed that the third tier seats hinged up and were filled with weapons of all kinds. Trust this place to keep a bunch of guns and crossbows and whatnot in what was basically a hospital. After they’d armed themselves and some of the less sick war boys, they returned to me, and we started the process of energy exchange again. Pin stuck around, guarding the door tensely.

I managed to heal two more while the sounds of battle came closer and closer, and the walls shook with the echoes. Now we had three war boy guards, and as I sat gasping on the floor, trying to catch my breath to heal at least one more, I saw Pin walk into the corridor, his shadow large and wavering on the wall as he turned the corner.

There was shouting and the noise of people running down the passage way towards us. I could see the Wretched and sick war boys clutching their weapons tighter, tensing to prepare for what might come into view. Another explosion, so close it made my ears ring, reverberated off the walls, and I could see the glow of it splashing the wall leading to our room. It was in that moment that I realised no one had given me a weapon, not that I knew how to use one.

The unseen runners came into view and everyone breathed a visible sigh of relief; it was a party of War Boys, Pin among them. They looked like they’d been in the thick of things; blood and soot streaked their faces and bodies, and they half-dragged, half-carried a couple of wounded. Quickly I grabbed the Wretched leader’s arm and got her to help me over there. I was already very tired, but it was obvious what needed to be done.

One of them merely had a flesh wound, a bullet hole that had passed through the edge of his torso without hitting any organs. There was a lot of blood, and it wasn’t only weariness which made me tremble while I transferred energy to him. It was the work of a minute to knit his tattered flesh back together; he laughed crazily once I was done, and I could see the bloodlust in his brown eyes.

The other was not so easy; he’d lost one hand and the lower part of his arm, it was burned and shattered horribly. I tried not to feel sick when I put my hand on his chest, willing myself to give him as much energy as possible. For the first time I had a strange sensation, as if I could see an ethereal network of lines and sparks in the space below his shattered bone. I tried to turn up the energy flow, but I was so weak and no one was helping me, it sputtered like a weak candle.

“Need a little help here!” I snapped; almost instantly a dozen hands touched me, war boys leaning over their fellows to make contact. The brightness of their vitality did the job; within seconds I could see an overlay of flesh covering the glowing lines, and a minute later I could hear the surrounding gasps as the war boy stood up in a daze, turning his new hand back and forth before his stunned eyes. I frowned, puzzled. Why hadn’t I given Furiosa back her hand when I healed her?

My legs were wobbly as I tried to stand up; the one I’d just healed raised me with his new hand around my waist, and helped me over to a bench away from the door. He patted my shoulder and smiled down at me before returning to where the rest of them seemed to be having some kind of strategy meeting.

Some of the Wretched came over, and I was about to start healing another one of the sick war boys, when there was a truly epic explosion from somewhere off close in the corridor, sending dust tumbling down on our heads. A rain of bullets impacted the wall where the corridor turned; one of the war party shouldered one of the weird long torches he was holding, ducking around the corner with it. There was the sound of a smaller explosion close by, I could see smoke drifting in to the room from it. The war boy came dashing back round again, his face shining with the joy of battle.

There was a short silence and then we heard the sound of many feet slapping against the rock, and all of a sudden the entrance to the room was boiling with a crush of men rushing in, heedless of the fact that they were sitting targets for our weapons. Soon everything was chaos; I desperately finished healing the war boy I’d been sitting in front of, even as my helpers jumped to their feet and started shooting at the incoming enemy. The only way to tell enemy and friend apart was that the other side all wore black hoods and black long sleeved tops, but the hall was so crowded with flailing bodies that even that didn’t help much.

The war boy I’d healed sent a small knife spinning into the back of someone fighting one of the Wretched and then he pulled me to my feet and pushed me to the back of the room, where the strange pyramid was. It was hand to hand combat now, and I felt worse than useless hiding behind this kid I’d just healed. He looked around quickly and then pushed me towards the doorway that was obscured by this pyramid. Distracted and terrified, I noticed that this was made up of what looked like steering wheels, a motif so odd that I almost burst out laughing in spite of what was going on.

“Go, get outta here!” The war boy shouted at me, his blue eyes flashing. He gave me a shove towards the door. I fell back, shaking my head in confusion. I was so scared, the urge to run was taking over, but something still held me in check; I didn’t want to abandon these people.

“Now!” he yelled, shoving me harder, so that I slammed against the edge of the door frame. Behind him rose a dark figure, metal glinting in its hand.

“Look out!” I screamed, flinging out my arm to point behind him. With feral speed he ducked and twisted, bringing up a long spike which he held between his fingers into the attacker’s throat. Blood spurted all over him, turning his white body red.

Horrified I turned and ran, stumbling through the door and up the steep stairs. The sounds of the battle raging in the room below faded as I dashed up the winding steps, but my heart leapt in my throat as another sound became clearer; feet pounding up the steps behind me in pursuit. I tried to tell myself it was probably the war boy I’d just left, but I didn’t believe it, so I kept running, too scared to look behind me. I knew I must’ve been up these stairs before, after I’d run away from killing the war boy loyal to Joe, but I had no recollection of which way I should go.

Abruptly the stairs opened up into a long shelf of rock, open to the sky, with many doorways cut into its rock wall in a line. The bright sunlight made me blink and cover my eyes with one hand, eddies of wind tugging at my hair and clothing. Ahead of me was a narrow bridge of gridded metal, its sides huge rusty girders, as it spanned the gap between mesas.

Sprinting to this, I finally dared to look behind me, and saw one of the black-garbed enemies appearing out of the dark doorway, a long machete in his hands. I gave a sob of terror as he grinned, his filed teeth grotesque, and darted out onto the bridge, ignoring the clamoring alarm bells my fear of heights was assaulting me with.

As I ran, I raised my eyes to the other side of the bridge and saw a small figure kneeling there; her billowing red hair and floating white clothing distinctive. She was pointing a long rifle at me, and shouting something I couldn’t hear, the wind whipping her words away. For a crazy second I thought she was going to shoot me, ridding herself of a rival forever, and fell into a ducking roll to avoid it.

Sharp pain exploded along the back of my shoulder, and I screamed, hearing the sound of a shot. Behind me, there was a heavy thud and a metallic clatter; dragging myself to a crouch, I could see my pursuer lying face down only inches behind me, blood dripping between the holes of the metal grid floor. Gritting my teeth against the pain, I forced myself forward, stumbling along in a low crouch as bullets whined around me.

Capable was close now, and I could see her urging me forward, while she yelled out, “The bridge! I’ve got to blow the bridge! Hurry!”

I was still about ten feet away from her when there came another staccato burst of gunfire. Capable stiffened and her eyes widened in shock; in the same instant I saw a gout of crimson blossom from her throat as a bullet passed through her. The momentum of my run brought me to a skidding halt in front of her as she folded backwards onto the floor, blood soaking her white clothes and darkening the vibrant copper of her hair.

Time seemed to slow, and I found myself looking down into her white face. Her mouth was slightly open, all the colour drained out of those rose lips, and her glazed blue eyes stared up at me without recognition. She was fading fast, blood pumping out of her and sluicing through the holed floor to hit the rocks far below. There was a horrible moment, a voice inside me which said slyly, let her die, let her die and he’s yours. I shook my head against it, even though I knew I was so weak and drained already that attempting this could well be suicide.

I placed both hands on Capable’s chest above her breasts, and summoned the energy transfer with all my will, trying to give her as much as I possibly could, holding nothing in reserve. As with the prisoner I’d killed, the intent of taking or giving everything changed the intensity of the exchange, and I felt as if I’d rolled up my entire life force into a shining ball and flung it at her. In an instant the breath rushed out of me and I pitched forward into darkness on top of her.


	32. Chapter 32

I felt like I was slowly climbing out of a deep well of darkness into awareness. First there was sound; the murmur of voices, the drip drip drip of water against stone, distant booms and crashes. I listened in a daze, unable to make sense of things. After some time I realised I was held by someone, the warmth of their body around me. I tried to blink, but even this was too much for me, sending me spiralling back down into forgetfulness.

It could have been an instant or a day later when consciousness returned. Feeling stronger this time, I blinked open my eyes; staring upwards into a hazy gloom. Slowly the gloom began to refine into a distinct image, a ceiling of rock. I tried to move, and stopped with a groan, weaker than I’d been even back in the canyon after I’d healed Nux.

“She’s awake!” I heard Cheedo’s voice, tremulous and anxious, and as soft thin fingers tightened around me, I realised that the person holding me was her, her long black hair floating on the edge of my vision. Her face hove into view as she leaned over me, and I saw that her eyes were red-rimmed and puffy, the tracks of recent tears a lighter path in the dirt and blood spattering her cheeks.

“Capable?” I whispered, unable to move.

Cheedo looked up at someone out of my view.

“I’m here.” Capable’s voice came from further away, quiet and calm.

Blinking with effort, I turned my head to look in the direction of her voice, trying to get a bearing on my surroundings. We were in some kind of small cave, maybe used for storage by the huddle of crates and sacks leaning against the walls. The only light came from the cave mouth; bright sunlight obscured in part by the figures kneeling on either side of the entrance.

One was Capable, bright and alive, on one knee with a long rifle cradled in her arms. Her white top was dyed dark red with her own blood, but she seemed healthy enough, flashing me a tired smile when she saw me staring at her. The other was a War Boy, also kneeling on guard, with a sawn off shotgun in his hands, and one of those things I’d thought were long torches, but now realised were lances with exploding tips. The sun glinted off the copper stubble on his scalp, and I recognised him as Cheedo’s lover, Hex. Seeing Capable smile, he glanced around, and his eyes widened when he saw me awake.

“Glory be.” He breathed solemnly, and then whipped his head back to face front as the sharp whine of gunfire sounded in the background. He raised the shotgun and blasted off a couple of shots, but I got the feeling he was more testing than aiming at someone specific.

I clung to Cheedo’s arms, trying to raise myself to sitting, but I was far too weak.

“How long have I been…?” I asked hoarsely, leaning my head against her.

“Hours and hours, more than a day!” exclaimed Cheedo. “We thought you were dead, but Hex did this chrome trick with a knife to see if you were breathing. He rescued me, you know.” She finished proudly. Hearing her words Hex glanced back at her with a small smile, his green eyes shining.

In the background I heard Capable mutter, “Don’t exaggerate; it’s been less than a day.”

“Well, a long time anyway!” retorted Cheedo, her dark eyes flashing as she scowled at Capable in a very younger sibling kind of way.

“What…”I struggled to speak through weakness, “what’s going on out there?”

“We don’t know.” Said Capable. “We’ve been pinned down since…since I blew the bridge.” She dipped her head and I saw the shyness in her eyes as she looked up at me from under her copper lashes. “Thank you for…” Her voice trailed off, and she blushed.

I took a deep breath. “You saved me too.” This reminded me of the long wound across my shoulder, reawakening its sting. I hissed with pain as I shifted in Cheedo’s arms.

“We tried to give you life,” chattered Cheedo; even this situation couldn’t completely dampen her spirit, “but I guess it only works when you’re awake. Do you want some now?”

I hesitated. I felt incredibly weak, and the offer was very tempting, but I was afraid that I would take more than they could afford, and I didn’t want Capable involved in case I took all her life energy back.

“I’m not sure I can control it.” I said finally.

With a last look outside, Hex scrambled over to us in a half crouch. He offered me his hand. “If it’s all of us it’ll be organic, right?”

I shot a glance at Capable. “Not her.” I said indistinctly. “Too dangerous.” Capable bowed her head, and returned to keeping watch on the world outside.

Cheedo and Hex each took one of my hands, and I cautiously tried to start the process slowly, being very definite about my intent to only take enough to get me on my feet. Almost as soon as I saw their energy streams, I dropped their hands, thankful that I’d been able to avoid getting too glued to them. It was enough to enable me to sit up and stop my back stinging a little, although they both looked a little grey faced, and Hex stumbled wearily as he went back to his guard post.

Now I felt well enough for my appetite to return. “I’m hungry.” I remarked, not really expecting them to have anything on them.

“You’ve got a bag of nuts tied to your skirt, silly!” Cheedo pointed out with a laugh, before adding, “Although I did eat some, but there’s still lots left, honest.”

I grinned, her optimism infectious, and plucked the bag from my skirt knot with shaky fingers. Soon I was stuffing nuts into my mouth, sharing them with the other three. Hex brought out some sun-dried tomato strips, making it seem like a feast, for this world, anyway. Every once in awhile a bullet smacked the stone wall outside our cave, and either Capable or Hex returned fire.

“Got one!” Hex exclaimed at last, peering out of the cave.

“How many?” I asked, wondering if there were any more weapons around; Cheedo didn’t seem to be armed.

Hex shrugged. “Dunno. They’re on th’ other side, too far for the lance. When it’s dark maybe we can get past ‘em.”

I nodded doubtfully, not at all sure I was up to walking. Capable must’ve seen this, for she asked me, “Do you think you can move if we have to?”

“I’ll do my best.” I answered in a more stoic voice than I felt inside. I was still confused as to what the status of things in the Citadel seemed to be. “Are we losing?” I asked finally.

Capable shrugged. “Who knows? I haven’t seen Furiosa since we were ordered off to break any links between the towers. I don’t think they managed to get inside this one though; all the explosions seem to be over there.”

“A..and Nux?” I asked slowly. I hadn’t wanted to broach the subject, but I desperately wanted to know if he was still alive.

Capable bit her lip and looked at the floor with another shrug. Trusting that she would at least tell me if he were dead, I let it lie, instead crawling forward a little way to the cave mouth. Outside the sun was setting, bathing everything in orange light so that Capable’s skin nearly matched the colour of her hair, and the mesa cliffs seemed to be all aflame. As if on cue, there was a distant boom and a small ball of fire erupted from one of the other mesa’s many caverns. Black smoke floated up towards us, bringing the smell of burning gasoline.

“Not long ‘til dark now.” Commented Hex, shifting with impatience.

“Where will we go?” Cheedo asked him, looking more than a little scared at the thought of leaving the cave.

Hex jerked a thumb upwards. Capable explained for him, “We’ll head to the gardens up top; the trees will hide us and there’s not many routes up there, we can hold off a lot of people if we have the higher ground. And maybe Dag and Able will be there.” She added hopefully.

So the four of us waited tensely while the sun sank below the horizon and the orange light faded into indigo night. I could see flames licking out from a dozen places in the other mesa, and every so often the sound of screams or gunfire would float up to us, but it was impossible to tell what was really going on. Those on the other side still shot at us occasionally, but it felt a bit half-hearted on their part.

“Stairs up to the left.” Whispered Capable as we all crouched near the cave entrance, adjusting our eyes to the darkness.

Moving slowly Hex led the way, making us three girls wait inside until he was sure no one had seen him. Then we all trooped out and stumbled up the dusty stone stairs, using our hands to feel the way, or in my case, to also pull myself up. I was very fatigued, and it was a struggle to keep up with the others.

The night breeze was chilly as it whistled around us, and it was hard to tell how high we were, the only sign of ground being the tiny beams of headlights and miniature explosions going on below.

All of a sudden Cheedo cried out, “Oh no! Look, look, they’re burning the fields!” I looked up and saw the spreading glow from the top of the opposite mesa. The tree I’d cuddled for comfort came back to me, and I felt a pang of sadness that it would be burned in this. The crops would be more of a problem though; no more hard tack biscuit, unless our food stores survived this war.

The whining impact of a nearby bullet disrupted my thoughts; obviously someone had heard Cheedo cry out. We quickened our pace, and I could dimly see Cheedo being dragged along by Hex and Capable as she sobbed inconsolably.

We were nearly level with the flickering light of the conflagration going on opposite when a hiss came from above.

“Stop right there!” A woman’s voice, not Able or Dag, I didn’t recognise it.

“it’s us!” squeaked Cheedo, cringing behind Hex’s body.

There was a chuckle from above. “Is that you, Cheedo?” and then more seriously, “Who’s with you?”

“Just me, Capable.” Called out Capable. “and Hex and Rachel.”

There was a sigh of relief, and someone else said in a low voice, “Good, they haven’t made it over here, then.”

Hex climbed up the last steps, closely followed by Cheedo and Capable, with me bringing up the rear. Waiting up there for us was a motley assortment of people; Vuvalini, Milkers, Wretched, a few War Boys. There were no lights on up here, and everyone looked slightly sinister in the red glow coming from the burning terraced fields on the other side.

“Where’s Dag?” asked Cheedo once she’d gotten her bearings.

A mother goddess type, all long dark hair and breasts, carrying a crossbow which looked like it weighed a ton, jerked her head in the direction of the darkened shack.

“Over there.” She said, “her and Able are looking after the wounded.” I realised it was her voice that had acted as sentry. Her eyes narrowed in recognition as she glanced at me. “Reckon you should join ‘em.”

I nodded wearily and turned to stumble over there. Suddenly there was the sound of an explosion so massive, everyone covered their ears and ran over to the edge to see what was going on. Looking down we could see tall flames licking the side of a great rent in the other mesa, black smoke billowing out of it until it reached us in choking waves.

“Ammo stores?” yelled a war boy to no one in particular. There was a lot of muttering in answer from the assembled people but no one seemed to know.

Soberly I left them watching the flames, and walked over to Able’s shack. Things seemed to be going badly over on the other side, and my heart sank as I thought of Nux in the middle of it.


	33. Chapter 33

It was only once I got close that I could see that there was actually light coming from inside the metal walls, but it seemed to have been blocked off or dampened so that it didn’t spill out too much into the night. Warm golden light bathed me as I opened the door, and I heard someone yell out.

“Close the bloody door ‘fore someone decides to put a bullet through you!”

I did as I was told, and glanced around, shading my eyes against the brightness contrasting so strongly to the dark outside. Able and Dag were there, tending to a couple of prone individuals lying around the room. Dimly I could see more people lying down in the bedroom, and hear the sound of their groans and pain-fueled shifting.

“Oh, it’s you. ‘Bout time you got here; come over and work your magic, girl.” Grumbled Able. The older woman looked tired and worn, a smear of dark blood on her forehead.

“I need some help to do it.” I answered, walking over to where she ministered to a dark man in his thirties; his skin tone reminded me of Toast’s, which made me wonder if she was still alive in all this chaos. His pain-filled eyes were large and black, liquidly intense. One of his thighs was mangled by a ragged wound covered with some evil smelling poultice which must be one of Able’s creations, his breathing uneven with pain.

“Fine, fine.” Able put her hand on my arm in an impatient gesture. I opened my mouth to say that this probably wasn’t enough, then closed it again at her expression. I took the man’s hand and breathed deep to start giving him energy, trying to keep an eye on how much I took from Able. Soon he breathed easier, the tense look of suppressed agony leaving his face, and flexed his leg experimentally.

Able let out a whoosh of breath and raised her eyebrows at me. “So that’s how it is, eh? Think you can do anything for the corpses out back?” Her face was grey and her hands shook.

I wasn’t sure if she was joking or not, but I shook my head. “Don’t think so.” I didn’t add that I didn’t want to try; that seemed to be asking for trouble.

“Good to know.” Commented Able, looking at me askance. “Hey, you, go get some more fodder for this little vampire here.” This last was directed towards the man I’d just healed, who nodded with a smile and walked out of the hut.

Once he came back with an assortment of helpers, I spent the rest of the night healing people, some of them worse off than others, but luckily none at death’s door. The blue-grey light of dawn was beginning to show by the time we’d finished; stretching, Able opened the door and looked outside.

“Don’t hear anything.” She said meaningfully.

I wiped my forehead with the back of my hand, accepting a metallic mug of tea from Dag. The tall girl’s eyes widened. “Think it’s over?” She asked in a whisper.

Able shrugged. “Maybe, but who knows if we won. Best stay alert.” She strode out of the shack to talk to the mother goddess woman with the crossbow, who seemed to be in charge of our motley crew. I found out later her name was Mulau, and the boy Pilau I’d healed was her son. It was odd; I hadn’t thought of the war boys as having mothers, but apparently many of them were the sons of the larger women who used to be Milkers.

Yawning, I leant back on the low bench at the back of the room and closed my eyes. It had been a long night, and I still wasn’t feeling like I’d totally recovered from bringing Capable back from the brink. At first all was quiet, but then I could hear the clamour of voices a little way from the hut. Rubbing my eyes against fatigue, I stood up and went to the doorway, peering out into the long morning shadows of the trees.

About fifty feet away stood the people who made up our refugee party, talking to a large group of War Boys, who definitely hadn’t been up here over the night. So, they’d managed to make their way up from below. That seemed to promise that we weren’t doing all that badly. They were holding an animated conversation, and as I watched I saw Capable’s copper hair floating along as she walked over to the group of war boys.

Someone in the crowd yelled her name and I saw Nux dash out of the melee and wrap her in an enthusiastic hug. My stomach dropped a little as he kissed her on the lips, and they started to talk urgently. I found myself half hiding behind the open door as I watched them interact; he had his hands on her shoulders and seemed very earnest. Finally, she dropped her head, her body language signalling weariness and pointed to the hut. I took a step back, my heart beating fast, as I saw Nux look over in my direction.

It didn’t make much sense that I felt so apprehensive about seeing him; I’d been so worried that something had happened to him, and it wasn’t like I hadn’t seen him kiss Capable before. Yet here I was basically hiding behind the door frame, afraid to make eye contact with him. I felt the push as he opened the door, and suddenly he was towering over me, daylight outlining his form.

I looked up, still clinging to the door knob. “Hey.” I said inadequately. For a moment he stared down at me, his cobalt eyes intense, and then his face broke in a grin and he lunged forward and enveloped me in a tight hug. Frozen for a second, I hugged him tightly back, lifting my face to meet his kiss. I felt a dam of emotion breaking inside me, and realised that I’d been subconsciously preparing myself for him to be dead. It was good to feel his arms around me, to know that he was real and solid and alive.

Kissing me deeply, his scarred lips sliding over mine, he crushed me to him. He lifted me slightly off my feet, his face buried in my neck.

“Thought you were dead.” He muttered.

The words choked in my throat. “Same.” Was all I managed to get out. I found myself taking deep breaths, drinking in the smell of his skin, reassuring myself that he was actually here.

We lost ourselves in another kiss, and then he lowered me to the ground and stepped back, holding me at arm’s length.

“Furiosa said if I found you to bring you back to the wounded; organic repair shop’s gone, but we set up on this side. You think you’re up to it?” He gazed at me intensely, his eyes searching my face, and I felt a small sense of unease, as if there was some underlying current I wasn’t quite aware of. I thought sadly of all the people I’d left fighting in the organic repair shop; had some of them managed to make it out?

“Yeah, I’m tired, but if there’s people to help.” I answered. “Did we win then?”

Nux laughed and nodded, his eyes glinting. “Yup. Shredded ‘em so bad Gastown must be standing empty. Furiosa wants to head down there and clean up in a couple of days.”

He kissed me again, and although it started out fairly chaste, by the end of it our tongues were mingling and I had my arms around his neck. He broke away first, and taking my hand, led me out of the shack and over to a set of sunken steps near the chair lift apparatus. It seemed that many had gone ahead of us, because the gardens were almost empty, and I couldn’t see Able around anymore.

We descended the steps into the earth, and after a short passageway came to a freight elevator much like the one on the other mesa. Again I experienced that faint sense of unease as Nux glanced at me before sliding open the elevator door.

“What’s up?” I asked quietly as the lift creaked into downward motion and he took my hand.

He glanced at me again and then looked away. “Capable told me what you did.” He said haltingly, but though his tone was serious, I had the feeling that he had been about to say something else and changed his mind at the last minute.

“She saved me too.” I told him staunchly.

He rubbed the back of his shaved head with one hand, a nervous habit I had come to recognise.

“Seriously, what’s going on?” I asked, trying to keep the anxiety out of my voice.

Nux took a deep breath, and took my other hand, turning to face me as he looked deep into my eyes.

“Furiosa’s…” he stopped, and his face crumpled with concern and pity, “…we took some prisoners – look, I know it’s stone cold mediocre for you but this is War, this is the way it is…” he trailed off at the expression on my face, and closed his eyes briefly with a deep sigh of melancholy.

I sighed myself, my mouth tightening into a grim line. I thought of all the many responses I could show, from maddened physical resistance to passive-aggressive bitchiness, but nothing seemed like it would get me anywhere. There was nowhere left to run, and now that I knew we’d won, all I could think about was getting Furiosa to stick to our deal, and what that would mean for things between me and Nux.

He seemed a little taken aback by my silence; I guess he’d been expecting me to throw a fit about it. Cautiously he rubbed my arm, and raised one eyebrow questioningly.

“You’re organic with it?” he asked, a subtle note of unbelief colouring his voice.

I shook my head. “No, of course not. But do I have a choice?” I gazed up at him, and he looked away, the edges of his scarred mouth turned down sadly. “Yeah, thought not.”

His blue eyes flashed as he glanced back at me, full of emotion, and then he pulled me into another tight hug.

“’m sorry.” He whispered in my ear as the freight elevator shuddered to a halt.

I hugged him convulsively, trying to gain emotional strength from his presence, and then followed him out of the elevator and down another stone corridor. It twisted and turned, with many side passageways leading off from its main artery, but finally it opened out into a large cavernous area, its ceiling dark and obscured with machinery.

Lying or sitting in rows on the stone floor were a number of people, not just War Boys but also representatives of every other community which inhabited the Citadel. To my dismay, there were even a couple of war pups, grimly holding in their tears as their fellows crowded round them. As Nux led me past this gathering many looked up at me, their whispers following us. Finally we stopped a little way off in front of a line of men; by their chains, guards, and sullen attitudes, I could tell they were the prisoners.

I looked at them; hard men, dressed all in black. Some still wore hoods but the ones that didn’t snarled at me with their pointed teeth, hatred in their eyes. But I still felt pity; wondering if some Milker mother goddess had also been their mother, if they had giggled and played as children, or only known the iron boot of their leaders, forming them into what they were today.

While I was lost in thought Furiosa had appeared; she stood next to me, looking down into my eyes. Haughty as ever, I still thought I detected an undercurrent of something softer when she stared at me, transfixing me with the sapphire brilliance of her eyes.

“Couldn’t have done it without you.” She said gruffly.

I gave a small nod of recognition at her words. Part of me wanted to beg her not to make me do this, but I knew it was hopeless. There was no way I could heal so many wounded with the helpers left to me; some of them would obviously be dead before the day was out. But I still had to try.

“Is there no other way?” I pleaded quietly. Nux squeezed my hand as I said it, offering me comfort the only way he could.

Furiosa narrowed her eyes, but she seemed more thoughtful than when she’d pointed a gun to me before. Finally she jerked her head to indicate I should follow her, and stalked off to one end of the rows of wounded. She stopped in front of what I first thought was a burnt bundle of brown clothing; a second later it resolved itself into a woman, lying twisted, one side of her body burned and shattered. The smell of burnt meat mixed with gasoline was strong, and as I leaned forward, I saw her long dark hair, and the remaining brown eye which stared up into space, glazed and unknowing.

I gasped; it was Valkyrie. She was still alive, but barely, and obviously didn’t have long.

Furiosa waved an arm in her direction, and then pointed back at the captives.

“Tell me their lives are worth more than hers.” She said, her voice harsh but quiet.

I closed my eyes, biting my lip to stop sobbing. I liked Valkyrie, even though she’d told Furiosa what I could do. She had been a calm, upright presence in my life in the Citadel, and I valued her nobility of spirit, her compassion in her dealings with me. Surely it was worse to let her die so that the people who’d cut short her life could walk free?


	34. Chapter 34

A slow tear trickled down my face in spite of my intention to be stoic. I was caught in a hopeless moral conundrum, one that most people never have to face. Triage is one thing, but it’s a very different proposition to take the life of someone perfectly healthy and give it to someone else.

“I’ll do it,” I sighed, “but you really are turning me into a monster. “ I said it without rancour, feeling completely defeated by the situation.

Furiosa snorted and her voice was almost jokey in a harsh kind of way as she answered, “Be thankful Able says you can’t bring back the dead.”

I breathed deep and straightened my back. “Just remember we have a deal. You’ve won; take me to the canyon when you go to Gastown.” If I was going to sell my soul, at least I could demand my freedom afterwards. I felt Nux stiffen next to me, his hand tightening convulsively as it gripped mine. I looked down, avoiding his gaze.

Furiosa frowned, seemingly a little surprised by my words. She glanced from Nux to me, and then said, “Thought you had some reasons to stay now.”

I turned to look up at Nux, my stare begging him to understand. “I have to try.”

His face was sad and depressed as he gazed down at me. He lifted one hand to my face and wiped away a tear from my cheek with his thumb. “Yeah, I know.” He mumbled quietly.

Furiosa shrugged impatiently. “Fine, we’ll take you as far as the canyon.” Her jewel-sharp eyes danced. “Know I’m not your favorite person, but I do keep my word.” She inclined her head over to the line of captives. “Time’s running short.”

I gulped. “Bring one over, then.” I clutched Nux’s hand, my body starting to tremble. He put his arm around my shoulders as Furiosa beckoned, and a war boy guard dragged one prisoner over by his chains.

The unfortunate man struggled as much as he could while Furiosa ripped the front of his shirt away, exposing his chest, only quieting when the war boy tightened the chain around his neck. His hood was tattered and I could see one side of his face; dark stubble against pale skin, eyes luminous with primal fear.

It was hard to meet his eyes, but I did. I could see the play of emotions in them, settling into despair as he ceased to struggle. I was about to say ‘I’m sorry’ but the words died in my throat as I realised just how little that really meant. I was doing a terrible thing to him, and there was no excuse. Best just to get it over with as fast as possible.

I dropped Nux’s hand and placed it on the prisoner’s chest, keeping Valkyrie’s burnt shape in front of me as I did so. Let that be the motivation for this, the need that sparked the beginning of this process. My vision flipped over to glowing threads and streams of energy. Feeling the sensation of melding, I willed for all of it. Moments later I staggered as the soft hiss of dust was nearly drowned out by the clanking fall of his chains.

Without pausing, I walked over and knelt by Valkyrie, touching my palm gently to the unburnt side of her face. She shifted a little, and I let the life I’d taken pour into her, watching the pulsing bright points of energy knitting her broken flesh back together. It took everything I’d taken, and more, to heal her, and I was sitting with my head hanging when I heard her sit up with an intake of breath. I felt her hand squeeze my shoulder, and looked up into her smile, her dark eyes warm and vital. I put my hand on hers and squeezed back, feeling like maybe it was worth it.

Valkyrie turned to Furiosa and they hugged each other tightly and shared a kiss, easy with familiarity. My jaw dropped; not because it was two women kissing, after all I was a 21st century girl, but because I had never imagined in a million years that Furiosa would show affection to anyone, whatever gender.

Nux helped me to my feet, and seeing this, Furiosa beckoned over another guard and captive.

“Keep going.” She ordered, a small smile tugging at the edge of her lips.

I nodded; what else could I do? There were still so many in need of help.

“Nux, go help fix that war rig we took; need you to disable their kill switch.” Furiosa told him. He nodded, giving me a quick kiss on the temple, and dashed off.

I breathed deep as the next prisoner was brought before me. Furiosa left; I assume she had other things to do, but Valkyrie stuck around, overseeing the process. I felt a certain warmth having her back; you don’t realise how much people mean to you sometimes until they’re gone, or almost gone.

After I killed this prisoner, my gut clenching with self-hatred, I started healing the rest of the wounded, noticing as I did so that Able, Dag, Capable and many others were moving amongst them, giving them painkillers and making them more comfortable until I got to them. Occasionally one of these nurses would come over and get me to heal someone particularly badly hurt right away.

That was how I ended up healing Grouser again; Dag called me over with her quiet whisper which somehow cut through the rest of the hubbub, and I saw it was him. His knee had been shattered by gunshot, and like many others, he bore the burns and cuts of being exposed to explosions. He grinned when he saw me, leaning on his elbows.

“Knew you’d make it,“ he smiled up at me, taking my hand in his. “Never did get you that kit. Y’must be tired of healing me.”

I grinned back, using stolen life to mend his broken knee. “Don’t get too cocky,” I teased him, “I won’t be here for ever.”

When I was done, he climbed to his feet and made that old prayer motion to me, before striding off to ‘see what needs doing’ as he put it. I watched him leave, and then moved onto the next person.

I was still going when light faded out of the cliff faces and the war pups lit gas lamps in this cavernous space, wavering shadows playing on the dim shapes of machinery. I’d neared the end of the serious cases, although there were a few with lesser injuries, ones that would heal by themselves in a week or so. There had been a lot of explosion victims; burns, shattered bones, that kind of thing.

During this time Capable and Dag had left, to be replaced by Toast and Cheedo and many of the Milker women, but Able had continued with quiet endurance, pressing her foul-smelling herbal poultices into people while she engaged in her usual grumpy banter with them. So had Valkyrie; she’d organised the massacre of the prisoners, and directed those healed where to go so they could be of most use. War pups had dashed to and fro serving as messengers, their white torsos and shaved heads making them seem more like imps than human boys. Communications were spotty; explosions had damaged a lot of the speaking tube cables.

I was sitting on the floor with my knees drawn up and my head resting on my forearms when I felt a hand on my shoulder and Nux squatted next to me.

“You need sleep.” He told me, brushing hair out of my eyes as I turned my head towards him, still resting it on my knees. “War rig’s done; Furiosa says I can drive it to Gastown!” he sounded tired but happy.

I sat up straight, rubbing my eyes and yawning. Nux glanced over to where Valkyrie stood watching us.

“Can she go?” he asked her. Valkyrie nodded imperceptibly, and made a waving motion with her hand towards the far door.

I gripped his forearm as he pulled me up, and stumbled along as he led me by the hand out of the room and towards the freight elevator. I stood there in a haze of fatigue while the elevator ascended, too tired to talk to him. I’d been awake for over twenty-four hours, and I felt it. The lift lurched as it settled into place, and I stumbled against him, leaning on his arm.

“Soo tired.” I mumbled wearily as a confused apology.

He put his arm around me and propelled me out of the lift; I could barely keep my eyes open, and I stumbled again, bumping my shoulder against the stone wall.

“Out on your feet.” Nux commented companionably and slipping one hand under my back and the other under my knees, he lifted me up in one smooth motion, my head falling against his shoulder. I was too tired to make even a half-hearted protest, and let my body go limp as he carried me along the passageways and through the adjoining rooms to the vault.

He had to put me down to open the vault door, and I leaned against the stone wall, watching the way the muscles moved on his wiry arms as he turned the wheel to open the lock. He glanced up to see me staring, and flashed me one of his old lop-sided puppy grins. I tottered over, brushing his forearm with my fingertips as I passed him and went into the dome room. There was warmth in that brief contact; the undercurrent of affection and relief I felt, knowing he was still alive, I was still alive, and the battle was finally over.

It was hard not to just throw myself onto the sofa, but I forced myself to walk the extra few steps to the bedroom, flopping face down on the bed. I heard Nux moving around to light the lamp – I was starting to get to know him well enough to recognise he didn’t like sleeping in my room’s absolute darkness, and then felt the bed shift as he sat down next to me. His boots knocking the bed frame were a comfortingly familiar sound as he stretched his legs out. He sighed as he put an arm around me, and I rolled on my side so I could put my arm over his chest.

He was yawning as I looked up at him, eyes so dark and puffy with weariness that he almost looked like he was wearing his old warpaint.

“I’m glad you’re here.” I burst out suddenly, shyness overtaking me the moment I said it.

Nux blinked and looked down, only a flash of blue visible under his long dark lashes, leaning his head forward so he could kiss me. I wriggled upwards until my elbows rested on his chest, uneven with scars, and our faces were level. I pulled his lower lip between mine and we kissed deeply until another yawn overtook me.

He chuckled. “Sleep first?” he suggested, his own face breaking in a yawn.

I nodded sleepily; emotionally I wanted to experience intimacy with him, to confirm our vitality after everything that had happened. But physically, although the flesh was willing, it also really wanted some rest.

As I let my head rest on his shoulder he stroked my hair, rearranging it in a wide fall over his arm. The motion was very soothing, and the last thing I heard before I dropped off was Nux’s breathing, calm and slow, reverberating through his chest.


	35. Chapter 35

It was morning when I woke, sunlight from the open door competing with the glow from the gas lamp. Nux was still asleep and I cuddled closer to him, relishing the warmth and solidity of his body. I could hear him sigh awake as I did so, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

I rolled partially on top of him, forearms on his chest, mirroring the position of last night. He reached up and tousled my hair with a grin, cobalt eyes flashing as he used the hand to pull me in for a kiss. My lips slid over his and in my eagerness I was the one to dart my tongue between his lips. We kissed deeply for a little, and then he broke it and sat up suddenly, dragging me with him in a tight hug.

“Come on, got a surprise for you.” He whispered, kissing my neck and ear.

“What?” I asked, curious.

He shook his head, fairly dancing with excitement as he pulled me off the bed and to standing. I laughed, glad that things were going well enough that puppy dog Nux was back. He took my hand and pulled me out of the room, making for the vault door.

“Where are we going?” I inquired breathlessly as he led me through the door, through the adjoining rooms to where this mesa’s freight elevator was.

He jerked a thumb upwards with a crooked grin. “Gardens.” He said and then continued, seeming to feel more explanation was required. “Got you the day off, isn’t that chrome!”

I gasped. “What, like an actual day off – I don’t need to do anything?” The concept seemed so luxurious at this point I could hardly take it seriously. I pulled back on his hand as he entered the freight elevator. “Furiosa’s cool with this?”

The grin was still there as he nodded and jerked me into the lift with a flick of his wrist. I collided with him and he wrapped his arm around me as he pushed the button to take us up to the gardens. Still feeling a little dazed by the idea of a day without some kind of crisis or responsibility, I clung to him silently as we ascended.

I felt almost shy hugging him; it passed through my mind that we’d never actually shared a day that wasn’t focused on survival, whether when we met in the desert, or in all the preparation for invasion. I was a little afraid that it would turn out that we didn’t get along without some external critical pressure. But by the time we reached the level leading up to the surface, I’d managed to calm myself down a little, realising that afterall, we had spent long periods of time with only the two of us to interact with.

We left the lift, walking along the passageway that ended in the steps upward. I remembered walking in the desert, the similar feeling of easy companionship. Communication was non-verbal; a touch here, a raised eyebrow there, a small private smile.

Walking up the steps was like walking into another world; a glaringly bright wonderland, so green and breezy after the dusty staleness of the Citadel. I blinked and stood at the top of the steps, not sure where to go next.

Nux let out a loud happy breath as he joined me at the top, looking around with an awestruck expression as he took in the groves of fruit trees and dew laden grass, framed against the high blue sky, a sky that mirrored the deep rich blue of his eyes.

“Never got to come up here before,” he explained, smiling down at me through his broken lips, “those are trees, Capable taught me that.” He pointed over at a copse of apple trees; their leaves shiny with droplets. A thin spray of water from the overhanging lattice of irrigation systems misted the area, refracting tiny prism-like rainbows.

“It is lovely.” I whispered, infected by his awe.

“Does your world get so green?” Nux asked suddenly, and I thought I detected a note of sadness in his words.

I fidgeted a little, not wanting to sound like I was showing off. “Yeah,” I said finally, “my city was right between mountains and ocean; the mountains are covered in trees, so it’s pretty green.”

He nodded thoughtfully, as if this answered some question for him. He took my hand and we walked slowly, aimlessly between the trees. For once I was glad I was barefoot, the already drying grass soft under my soles. Finally we stopped under a grove of trees that looked out onto the edge of the mesa, sitting with our backs to one as we looked out over the red expanse of the desert.

Nux stood and reached up his long arms to snag a couple of apples; the sun had warmed them and they were crisp and sweet. It was strange to be in such an oasis of life, raised high above the dusty plains.

“It’ll be different here now we’ve crushed Gastown.” Nux said slowly, staring out at the desert, leaning his forearms on his lanky drawn up knees. “Build something shiny for everyone, not just those up top.”

“Furiosa certainly gets things done.” I agreed with grudging admiration.

He gave a sigh tinged with melancholy, and rested his chin on top of his arms. “You could stay.” He continued to stare out at the desert while he spoke.

I shifted closer to him, placing my hand on the back of his stubbly head. For a long time I couldn’t think what to say, and let my fingers rubbing his scalp do the talking for me. He leaned into it, closing his eyes, more catlike than his usual puppy dog manner.

“I have to know if there’s a way back.” I told him finally.

“And I can’t go?” He asked plaintively, and I wondered if he was drawn by the idea of mountains covered in trees as much as following me.

I shrugged. “Who knows? I don’t even know if there’ll be anything there.” I reasoned, more to convince myself than him.

A small shiver ran through Nux’s body and he turned his head to look at me. “Be chrome for you to see me driving the war rig, anyway. Wonder if there’s any fight left in Gastown?” His mouth curved in a lop-sided smile and then his arms unfolded and he dragged me into a hug, pulling me forward and around so that I faced him, my back supported by his knees.

I laughed, knowing he was just trying to lighten the mood, and threw my arms around his neck. We both leaned in at the same time, and his lips pressed mine back against my teeth hard, making me gasp. In spite of his light hearted words, his kiss was more melancholy, coloured with the intensity of someone who knew they might be doing this for the last time.

I felt my heart contract as he deepened the kiss, pushing his tongue past my lips. Until that moment I hadn’t really considered the fact that leaving meant not seeing him again. Or any of the others, friendships forged in the quest for survival. And yet back home I wouldn’t be a freak, I could go back to being normal and boring and wonderfully anonymous. Here I was just a symbol, useful to anyone seeking power.

I touched his face, running my fingertips over his cheekbones as he tilted into my palm.

“I have to at least see,” I told him in a whisper between kisses, “wouldn’t you do the same?”

He stopped, and frowned as he thought about it, “Be hard to say no to green mountains,” he answered, kissing me absently, “But it’d be hard too to leave you behind.”

I bit my lip, and he moved his mouth to my neck, “I don’t want to leave you behind,” I tried to keep the tremor out of my voice, “but I don’t belong here; you know I don’t.”

Nux sighed, his breath warm on my throat. Briefly I considered reassuring him with the thought that Capable would probably take him back, but that seemed a little insulting to both of them, so I decided not to. I really didn’t want to lose him, and I found myself almost encouraging him to come with me, the soft pressure of his lips on my neck swaying me to futile promises I couldn’t keep. But that wasn’t fair either when I didn’t know how things were going to go.

So instead I concentrated on the present, the goodbye gift of getting to spend a day with him, a day to spend however I wanted. He seemed to feel the same, as one hand followed the line of my halter top, until he pressed his hand over my heart, long fingers spread out so that they touched almost from shoulder to shoulder. He lifted his head from my neck and we looked each other in the eyes, a complicated mix of lust, sadness and mischief flitting over his blue ones, adult depth in his scarred but youthful face.

I squirmed under the dual pressure of hand and eyes. I wanted his love but I was also afraid that surrendering to emotion would affect my decision to leave. Taking refuge in pleasure, I darted my tongue between his lips, guiding his hand under the material of my top. My teeth pulled on his lower lips as he cupped my breast, thumb sliding over my nipple.

“Sure I can’t convince you to stay.” He muttered through lips that pressed against mine, the light in his eyes turning to a glazed look as his breathing increased.

“Not fair.” I protested with a momentary pout, my hands on either side of his head as I drew him into a deeper kiss. His hand contracted, kneading my breast slowly. He was bending me backwards over his knees with the force of his kiss, and now his other hand scrabbled at the knots holding my top in place.

He sighed in frustration and broke away. “These knots are mediocre.” He told me, giving me a quick peck on the lips before focusing both hands on the job.

“Cheedo did them, don’t blame me.” I countered with a grin, running my lips over the curve of his neck.

It took him less time than mine had done, but I was still writhing with impatience by the time he finished. He pushed the cloth away roughly and pulled my upper body towards him with both hands under my back, kissing first one nipple and then the other, back and forth, as if trying to keep them equally peaked.

My heart rate increasing, I let my head fall back, staring up at the translucent green, sunlight shining through the apple leaves above us. A pulse pounded in my ears but some switch flipped in my mind, anxiety fading into a sense of deep contentment at the same time as my body flared with pleasure from his touch.

His knees had fallen outwards, and now he sat cross-legged, bent over me while I fell back against his hand, arching my body to meet his kiss. Further and further back I fell, until the grass brushed his hand cradling my head. With a flip of his legs he reversed his knees, letting his elbows hold him from the ground as his body pressed mine into the earth. I half expected him to enter me then and there, and a wanton, primitive part of me wanted him to, but instead he drew back a little, his thumb sliding over the wetness his tongue had left on my nipple.

Nux sat up, pulling off his boots with urgent hands, following them with his trousers. I raised myself up on my elbows to watch him, my groin clenching with warmth at the movement of his muscles under his naked scarred skin. He was fully erect, and as he turned back to me kneeling, I heard myself make a low guttural sound deep in my throat, a sound of wanting.

I leaned forward and used my hands on his thighs to steady myself, dipping my head until my lips touched his phallus, slicking it with the wetness of my tongue. His hands shook as they rested on my head, but he had enough self-control not to grab me, his touch light as I swirled my tongue along the underside of his shaft, darting it in circles at the head, keeping my mouth open so that only the barest touch of my lips grazed his taut skin. As I continued to tease him in this way, his fingers gripped handfuls of my hair, restraint crumbling.

Teasing him excited me too, the erotic thought of giving pleasure making my own loins ache. Taking a deep breath, I closed my mouth around him, adding pressure to the swiftly darting movements of my tongue. Sliding the circle of my lips up and down, over and over, now sucking hard enough to pull his skin, then backing off until the touch was just a graze, I felt tremors start to run through his body, his thighs tensing to iron under my hands. I heard his quiet exhalation, and then felt his hands in my hair pulling me back, away from him. I looked up into his face, his eyes glittering, dark with dilated pupils, the curve of lust in his lips almost cruel. He kissed me hard, the scars on his lips bruising, as he pulled me onto my back.

“My turn.” He whispered, and I let out a low breathless laugh. I writhed on my back, raising my hips to make it easier for him to undo the knot of my skirt. His hand brushed the material away from my thighs, trailing over my pelvis and scooping under me, bending forward as he pulled me up. I bent my legs, stepping my feet over his shoulders and arching back, arms over my head as I clutched handfuls of grass.

My shoulders rested on his knees as he supported my bum, running his tongue up along the inside of my thigh until it licked the crease where the leg met the pelvis. The lightness of its touch tickled the tips of my pubic hair, and I quivered as it found the cleft, running along my lower lips. I began to lose myself in sensation, tensing around him as his tongue darted deeper and deeper into me, retreating often to slide over the nub at the top. I dug my fingers into his thighs harshly, hearing the blood pounding in my ears louder than my low cries.

At the same time as I shifted my grip to circle his penis, he moved one hand so that he could still support me with it, while the finger of the other traced the path of wetness his tongue had left, sliding into me. I was so sensitized I could feel the brush of his knuckle as it tunnelled its way in. Another finger followed the first and I clenched around them, the sensation of his tongue darting over me pushing me to the edge. Before I even had time to vocalise it, the combination of sensations became the peak of a wave, crashing over me so that I shivered and bucked, my eyes flying open at the point of climax. The sun blinded me, and then I cried out, feeling a second shock of pleasure pass through me.

Shaking with desire, Nux lowered me down, impaling me smoothly as he leaned further over me, straightening his legs behind him. I lowered my legs to wrap them around his back, and raised my hands to his face, cupping him into an urgent kiss as he thrust into me, grinding me into the earth. His lips were salty with my musk, and I found my ardour rising again as his movements became more intense, throwing off all restraint. It wasn’t long before he reached his peak, and at the moment of orgasm he buried his head in my shoulder, letting out a long low groanas all tension left his body.


	36. Chapter 36

“Wow.” I breathed, as he collapsed on top of me, wrapping his arms around me and hugging me tight, rocking slowly from side to side.

“Stay.” He whispered into my neck. I stroked the back of his head, knowing that if I answered that right now I would swear to stay with him forever.

Instead I changed the subject. “Did Capable teach you that, cos it was pretty awesome.” I said, kissing behind his ear as he rolled away onto his side, pulling me after him so that his shaft traced wet trails along my belly.

He grinned, “She likes that too, but I learned sucking war boys years ago, before I was sick.” His voice changed as he said the last words, all the humor and lightness running out of it, leaving only a touch of hurt melancholy. I looked up at him curiously, wondering at it.

Seeing my questioning expression, Nux sighed, and spoke reluctantly, “Used to make Slit - my lancer - happy, until my half-life started running out. He turned on me then; never could stand weakness. Tried to take my wheel and replace me as driver.” The hurt in his voice intensified. “Got shredded by the war rig trying to stop Furiosa.”

I hugged him, trying to comfort him with the warmth of my body. He stroked my hair and then I heard the laugh come back into his voice. “Think I prefer girls anyway; all soft and shiny,” he buried his face in my hair and took a deep breath, “smell better too.”

“What about you?” he asked suddenly, “Someone in your world like the way you tease?” He tangled his fingers in my hair again and kissed me deep, pressing me closer.

I frowned, thinking about it. It seemed like my memories worked better for things longer ago; whenever I tried to think about the days leading up to my unexpected translocation details slid away from me, tantalising but never becoming solid. I shrugged. “Not sure about now, but I can remember lots of sex. It doesn’t feel odd, anyway.”

Nux sat up, dragging me with him. “Hungry.” He explained, clambering to his feet.

From my viewpoint sitting in the grass he looked impossibly tall, stretching his lanky body up to pluck more apples from the lowest bough. I hugged my knees and accepted an apple, biting into it thoughtfully. His information about his former lancer brought more context to the endearment he sometimes used with me. I watched him devouring his apple with gusto, stretching his long legs out and leaning back again in the grass. Did I really want to rush away from him? I shook my head, remembering the prisoners I’d killed. No, if there was a chance to get away from being coerced into acts like that, I had to take it.

“What you want to do now?” He asked me, breaking into my thoughts. “Didn’t really plan any further than this.” He flashed me a wicked grin, stretching his lip scars.

I grinned back. “I dunno, more of the same? Do you want to explore? Maybe there’s something other than apples.”

I scrabbled in the grass for my scraps of clothing while Nux climbed into trousers and boots. I was still struggling with the knots when he came over and pushed my hands away, tying them deftly while he kissed the back of my neck. I stood up, noting that he’d left the knots pretty loose.

We wandered around the perimeter of the mesa, sampling apricots and figs from the continuous orchard. Finally we stood opposite the other mesa, its once green fields black with soot. In the centre stood the dark twisted shape that had once been a stately tree. Both standing there silent, I reached for his hand. The mesa of the War Boys was a mess; apart from its burnt crown it was pitted and rent, spilling twisted metal out of jagged craters.

“We’ll fix it.” Stated Nux with quiet confidence.

“It is a shame about the fields though.” I sighed, thinking of Cheedo’s sobs as she’d watched them burn.

Nux nodded and put an arm around my shoulder, guiding me away from it. We walked further, zig zagging in and out of the groves to keep the devastation out of sight.

The sun was past its zenith when we stopped to rest, looking out towards the third mesa, its blunted pinnacle green but less so than ours, a forest of cranes and pyramids instead of fruit groves. Behind it curved the great rust coloured escarpment, a ship’s prow cutting through the ocean of desert.

We sat cross-legged beside each other on the edge of the grass, close to the precipice, eating an assortment of fruit we’d picked up along the way. For the first time since I’d woken in the canyon I felt the luxury of eating too much. All of it had seemed an unimaginable feast for Nux; I guessed that under Immortan Joe, war boys had mostly fed on hard tack biscuit and whatever they could steal. And yet talk of violence still came easy to his lips as he chattered on enthusiastically about his part in the various battles defending the Citadel, how he hoped that someone would attack the war party when they were on the road to Gastown tomorrow.

He stopped in mid-sentence, noticing my quietness. “It’s killing you hate, isn’t it.” It was a statement, not a question.

I nodded, leaning on his shoulder as he passed a hand around my waist.

“Is it all peace in your world then?” He asked, sounding like this was something beyond comprehension.

“No, not for most people. I was just lucky, I guess. My part of the world was peaceful.” I looked him in the eye seriously. “I never even saw a dead body before I came here.”

Nux’s eyes widened with pity and he pulled me closer. “Can’t remember a time when I hadn’t seen a dead body.” He murmured, turning my face towards his lips.

My clothes were easier to untie this time, and we found that repetition of the act didn’t diminish the pleasure of sensation, the emotional connection.

Afterwards we dozed on the grass, sprawled out, legs intertwined, letting the dappled light flow over our closed eyelids. Even in the shade the grass was warm, heated by the desert sun. It was quiet, not much sound floating up from below.

The light was cooling, a fine mist of irrigation water hovering over us when I came fully awake. It was late afternoon, lights springing up on the other mesas. I blinked, and rolled over towards Nux, stopping when I saw that he was already awake, propped on one elbow, his eyes brilliant with the fading light as he watched me. He brushed tangled hair way from my face, and accepted my kiss.

“Thanks for a lovely day.” I said quietly. “Now I want a bath. Coming?”

He sighed mockingly and rolled his eyes. “Such a waste of water.” But he rolled up into sitting quick enough, and helped me tie those damn knots until I was decent, pulling on his cargos and boots afterwards.

The sun was close to the horizon, boiling the sky into a deep red, as we made our way back to the sunken steps hand in hand. My heart was full of affection for him, and I wondered if I would have the will to leave even if the opportunity presented itself. I also couldn’t help being curious as to how he was feeling about the whole thing; this day, enjoyable as it had been, had seemed like a prolonged goodbye.

We hugged close as the lift descended into the warm glowing darkness of the Citadel. The feeling of farewell intensified, and I found my anxiousness rising the more we returned to the heart of the mesa. I tried to shake off these gloomy feelings, and cast around for something to distract me.

“So when was the last time you bathed anyway?” I asked Nux, knowing that the answer would probably shock me.

He looked shifty. “Capable made me, first night we got back. Made me feel all raw.” He added with indignation.

I laughed. “You know, back in my world I showered every day.” He looked shocked by this statement, and I could see his brain ticking over, calculating the cost in water of daily showers.

Now it was my turn to pull him along, dragging him along the corridors and through the familiar circular rooms to the vault.

We entered onto a contented domestic scene; Cheedo and Hex were reading some colourful picture book while they cuddled together on the sofa. They looked up as we came in.

“Heya!” exclaimed Cheedo happily, “Where’ve you two been all day?”

I grinned while Nux and Hex shared one of their mysterious nod hellos. “Up in the gardens pigging out on fruit. Is it ok if I use some water for a bath?”

“Of course, don’t be silly, don’t need to ask.” Said Cheedo, standing up. “Oh, I forgot; some war boy with a twisted nose brought you a present.”

She winked at me slyly, and then trotted lightly into her room. Nux sat down next to Hex and looked over his shoulder at the picture book, his eyes widening with wonder. It made me realise that I didn’t even know if he could read; there was still so much I didn’t know about him. Cheedo bounced back into the room, and I laughed at what she was carrying; a folded pair of black cargo pants.

“Grouser!” I chuckled.

Nux looked up, and his eyes narrowed a little at the trousers, before his face broke in a wide grin. “You finally got ‘em.” He remarked. Then something in his eyes changed, sadness flitting across their rich blue.

I raised my eyebrows and flashed him a wan smile. Well, at least I would fit in tomorrow on the expedition to Gastown. Impulsively I hugged Cheedo tightly.

“Thanks,” I told her, my voice choking a little, “You’re awesome. I’m going to miss you.”

“What?!” Cheedo cried out, holding me at arm’s length. “You’re not gonna stay in Gastown are you? That place is about as mediocre as you can get.” Her lovely brow crinkled into a worried frown.

“God, no.” I answered, “I’m going back to the canyon; looking to see if there’s a way home.”

“But this is home!” she asserted, as if I’d always lived there.

I shook my head as she turned to look at Nux, who looked away back to the picture book with a tight shrug of his shoulders.

“There’s probably won’t be anything,” I gabbled, “but I have to see, I have to know if there’s some door or portal or something.”

Cheedo’s frown deepened, “How can there be a door in the canyon? I don’t understand.”

I took a deep breath, about to launch into a vague explanation on the concept of wormholes and alternate realities; realised most of my knowledge came from sci-fi tv series, and stopped. I didn’t actually know what had happened, so how could I explain it to anyone else?

“Never mind.” I told her, “I’m just looking for any way to get back to where I came from.”

Her frown became quizzical, and then she shrugged, and turned to more important matters. “So that mean you’re going back to Capable then, Nux?” She giggled, with one of her abrupt changes of mood, as Nux raised his eyebrows at her. “You might be too late, I saw her talking with some shiny war boy today.”

He shrugged again, his slight grin and dancing eyes showing that he didn’t take her too seriously. Feeling awkward about the whole situation, I turned and went up the stairs to the balcony and ran myself a bath. I’d hoped Nux would join me, but he seemed still entranced by the books.

Lowering myself into the water I let it soothe away my anxiety, the feeling that whatever decision I made was wrong. Talking to Cheedo about it, even if it had been an inconclusive conversation, made me aware of just how conflicted I was feeling at that moment.

After I’d hosed myself off, I picked up the trousers. The cargo pants were only slightly too big, and I was using a ripped length of cloth from my dirty top – Cheedo had provided some clean material – to make into a belt, when Nux appeared at the top of the stairs. He looked at the dirty water and then looked at me.

“You think I should?” He asked, and then knelt, turning the bathwater over with one hand. “Be not addicted to water, lest you become resentful of its absence.” He intoned softly, and then smiled up at me. “One of Joe’s sayings.” He explained in answer to my questioning expression.

“He sounds like a right idiot.” I pronounced, not bothering to stop staring as Nux shed his trousers and boots, stepping into the water gingerly. As always, the sight of his lanky frame, covered in battle scars and self-inflicted scarification, wiry yet muscled, awoke intense feelings in me. To hide my flustered reaction, I finished knotting the material into a long belt, instantly changing my appearance from pseudo War Boy to something more New Romantic.

“Hey Hex!” yelled Nux as he splashed water over his head. “Need help shaving after this.”

“Organic.” Came the reply from below. I heard boots on the steps and Hex rose into view, carrying a well-oiled but elderly straight razor in one hand.

“Is that safe?” I asked, looking at the razor doubtfully.

Both war boys gave me dismissive looks. “Course.” Said Hex.

I didn’t stay to watch the shearing, retreating to my room. I lit the lamp with the lighter I’d taken from Nux’s pockets, and lay down on the bed with a contented sigh. I felt like today had shown me a little of the good side of the Citadel, and let me get to know Nux a little better. It was a good day to be the last day.

I found myself daydreaming about what life would be like if I stayed, and then fiercely reprimanded myself. I had to leave if I could; I wasn’t naïve enough to think that all would be peace and roses here. And I knew that my power would be a constant temptation to any war leader; having an army that could be healed to fighting strength again almost instantly was just too big an advantage. Plus, although I really did love Nux, and valued the friendship of others like Cheedo and Valkyrie, I was homesick for a normal life.

Nux looked very pink and raw when he finally came in, scalp and face shaved right to the skin. He stretched his arms over his head and yawned, before throwing himself down on the bed next to me. I rolled towards him, kissing him soundly on the lips.

“Love you.” I murmured, trying to make it sound as casual as possible. He raised his eyebrows and a small smile tugged at the edge of his broken lips. He returned the kiss, his hand stroking my back, reaching lower under the waistband of my trousers.

His other hand rolled me further onto him as our kiss deepened, before he broke away and I saw the glint of mixed affection and lust in his eyes. “One last time?” He asked, tilting his head to kiss the side of my neck.

I nodded and clasped my hands behind the smooth skin of his head, drawing his lips back to mine.


	37. Chapter 37

When I woke the next morning, I had a feeling of finality, akin to the end of a job contract, or moving day; that sensation that an episode in your life was ending, and things would never quite be the same. Nux and I sat on the edge of the bed together eating some squished fruit he’d pocketed yesterday. I plucked at the thigh of his cargo pants nervously as I ate.

“You think there’ll be a fight at Gastown?” I asked him, hoping desperately there wouldn’t be.

He shrugged and put his arm around my shoulders to reassure me. “Think we’ll crush ‘em if there is.” He pointed out. “We got a lot more fighters at this point.”

I sighed deeply, anxiety sweeping over me. A shiver ran through me and Nux gave my shoulder a friendly shake.

“It’ll be organic, you’ll see.” He told me, getting to his feet.

He pulled me up after him, and we left the room. I glanced behind me, taking in what seemed like the last image of that tiny windowless room, its rusty bed comfortingly familiar.

We made our way to the freight elevator, and took it to a large cavernous room, open to the outside. We walked onto a large rectangular platform that was slowly lowered to the ground, much like the one in the war boys mesa we’d originally been raised up on when we’d first arrived.. As the chains clanked and the platform swayed, I wondered why we hadn’t just taken the freight elevator all the way down. I didn’t even know if it went all the way down. It put my time here in perspective to think that although so much had happened, I had only been in this world for two weeks. There were still a lot of unanswered questions for me.

The space between mesas was only sparsely populated, the skeletons of huts and burned out fires dotting the dusty ground. Most of the Wretched must’ve decided to stay inside after the war was over, now that they were welcomed. I’d expected to see burnt out wrecks of Gastown cars left over from the battle, but I guess all that metal and parts was too valuable and had been scooped up already. Our feet echoed on the ancient tarmac as we walked along the short road to the War Boys’ mesa through empty silence.

A large gathering of vehicles and people awaited us, clustered around what looked like the scavenged remnants of an oil tanker. Painted war boys, their white skin almost reflective in the morning sun, clambered over the machines, readying weapons and making last minute adjustments with the enthusiasm of children. Their chants carried back to us across the air; ‘Kamacrazee war boys!’ or ‘Goin’ to Gastown!’.

I took Nux’s hand in mine, feeling shy and unsure. All my power lay in healing, but I was pretty useless in the middle of a battle, and I knew it. I was a fifth wheel in this company, only safe as long as I stayed out of the way.

When we neared the tanker, I saw next to it a strange vehicle with wheels larger than the body itself. Seeing me stare at it, Nux said helpfully, “That’s Joe’s old Gigahorse; chromest vehicle in the fleet.”

As he pointed at it Furiosa’s head appeared out of the window. “Get over here!” she yelled above the roar of many idling engines. Everything above her cheekbones was blacked with engine grease, making her piercing sapphire eyes almost glow in their sockets by contrast.

We jogged over, the tarmac starting to heat up under my bare feet. Even that short distance made me breathless, and I was still gasping when she started talking quickly to Nux.

“Drive the rig, as we agreed,” she told him, “Stick to the Fury Road, no matter who shows up. If we make it to Gastown park it across their doors; shield for us, block off any war parties they might have left.” Nux nodded, his face drawn with concentration and pride as she continued. “Tanker’s full of water; we’ll try to bargain for guzzoline in good faith, but things may not go that smooth. You,” she turned to me, “ride with me, and keep your head down.”

I shook my head and clung to Nux’s arm, determined to spend as much time as possible with him before the canyon. “I’m riding with him.” I declared stubbornly.

Furiosa’s brow creased in a frown, and she opened her mouth to no doubt tell me off, but Nux interjected, “I’ll keep her safe, it’s organic.” His face was stoic but his eyes pleaded with her, puppy dog to the nth degree.

“Fine,” she snarled, backing down before his appeal, “But get out of there first sign of trouble.”

Nux nodded and helped me up into the cab. It was large and felt more open than being in a normal car because of the lack of window glass. A partially crushed human skull adorned the dashboard, and the interior had been redecorated with a suspiciously black metal skull theme. There was no seatbelts; which didn’t surprise me, but didn’t make me feel very secure either.

Outside Furiosa bellowed one word into a megaphone, “Gastown!” A hundred war boys yelled it back at her, and Nux followed it up with a long booming peal from the rig’s horn. He settled himself in the driver’s seat as if he’d been driving it all his life – which now that I thought about it, he sort of had been, and flashed me a happy grin as he yanked the stick into drive and released the brake for a second. The rig lurched forward and then stopped.

Furiosa weaved the gigahorse in front of us and sounded her horn, accelerating fast. A dozen smaller cars and motorbikes sprang into motion and Nux eased the unwieldy tanker into a slow acceleration. I leaned out of the glassless window as we rolled out, my hair whipping in the wind of our passage as I stared up at the giant skull carving in the wall of the opposite mesa. I wanted to burn the image in my mind so I would never forget this place. It made me sad that I hadn’t had the opportunity to say my goodbyes, but I knew Furiosa was just humoring me, and probably thought I would be coming back with them. I told myself the odds were she was right.

My gaze shifted to Nux as he hummed contentedly to himself while driving, so at ease with it, the huge vehicle seemed an extension of his body. Feeling the concentration of my stare, he glanced over and smiled, taking one hand off the wheel long enough to touch my arm gently. I smiled back, and then returned to leaning out of the window, watching as the towering mesas of the Citadel shrank behind us.

Soon we were on the open road, and he leaned over and pulled me back in. “Stay low, don’t be a target.” He told me sternly, even while his eyes shone with excitement at the thought that someone might attack us.

Chastened, I sat beside him, contenting myself with glancing out of the front and side windows. The pillar of smoke that marked Gastown was a tiny thread ahead of us, the open desert sprawling out on all sides. It struck me that we would be there in a few hours, a polar opposite from the last time we’d travelled this road, stumbling along half-starved and dehydrated for more than a night.

I could hear the war boys walking around on top of the tanker and cab, shouting to each other if so much as a dust devil moved on the horizon. At first I was tense, expecting attack, but as one hour rolled into the next, and all that we saw was the river of asphalt and the empty desert, I started to relax. I put my feet on the dashboard and ate a squashed apricot I’d put in my trouser pocket. Nux reached over and tweaked my toes amicably; driving certainly put him in a good mood. I gazed over at him, holding my blowing hair away from my face, etching his profile into my memory.

“What would you do if I stayed?” I asked suddenly, scooting further down in the seat so that my feet on the dash were higher than my head.

Nux glanced around with a smile, and then looked back at the road. “Second thoughts? Probly get us a bigger bed; you kick in your sleep.” He joked.

I huffed with outrage, “No, I don’t!” I punched his upper arm lightly, and then sat up suddenly as I realised how close Gastown was becoming.

Its mass interrupting the horizon now filled most of the front window, and I could see multiple streams of greasy black smoke coming from stacks which belched fire. The metal perimeter walls had a blackened oily look, and as we drove closer I could see a surrounding field of barbed wire.

“Mine field?” I asked in trepidation.

“Yup.” Nux answered.

Abruptly there was the sound of a war boy banging on the top of the cab and then a white shaved head appeared upside down in Nux’s window.

“Furiosa says take point; swing it round on her signal.” He smiled over at me, and I recognised him as someone I’d healed way back when I was starting out – his name eluded me. “Best get under cover Redeemer.”

I nodded and hunkered down between my seat and the dash, my hand on Nux’s knee. He glanced down at me with affection and then returned his focus to the road, pressing down on the accelerator. I felt the massive vehicle gaining speed, and felt more than a little anxious. It was annoying not to be able to see what was going on again, I constantly seemed to only be seeing fragments of action, but it was better than getting shot, so I curled in on myself and prayed Furiosa’s trust in Nux’s driving was warranted.

We seemed to be barrelling along pretty fast, so it was a shock when Nux yelled, “Brace yourself!” and yanked on the horn to warn the war boys up top. I could see the intense concentration on his face as he spun the wheel, and the tanker twisted, feeling like it was about to turn over at any moment. But it didn’t, instead he slammed on the brakes and we shuddered to a halt. From my low position all I could see was sky on my side, and a dark metal wall filling the other. Nux crouched half under his seat, taking out a sawn-off shotgun, weapon of choice for many war boys it seemed.

There was the sound of many other vehicles screeching to a halt, and then what seemed like an eternal tense wait, the only sound the purring of all those idling engines.

Suddenly a megaphone blared into action, “Talk to us. We’re here to trade.” It was only just recognisable as Furiosa’s voice.

There was a moment’s silence and then a rough voice shouted cautiously, “Need a war party to trade do ya?”

“You attacked us.” Came the blunt reply.

Another pause, and then, “Joe’s folk and the People Eaters wanted pay back. None of ‘em came back so I reckon you shredded them, right?” This time the voice sounded wary but also slightly relieved.

Furiosa must’ve confirmed this visually for the next thing the Gastown voice said was, “Alright. Just us dregs left here, no one who wants to pick a fight. Whatcha want to trade?”

“Water for guzzoline, the usual.”

“Bring that tanker in then – wait, show us first.” The voice yelled inaudible instructions to someone.

The roof reverberated as one of the war boys jumped off, and moments later I heard the sound of water streaming to the ground. Meanwhile Nux had hopped back into the driver’s seat and was leaning out of the window. I could see him nod as if receiving a signal, and then a cacophony of squealing metal which must be the doors to Gastown opening. Tired of not being able to see anything, I slunk back into my seat, keeping low enough that I could just peek over the side window’s rim.

I had a view of tall metal gates sliding back against the walls as Nux swing the rig back round again and crept forward slowly. Furiosa’s gigahorse had pushed in front of us, and motorcycles and other vehicles flanked us.

The interior of Gastown looked like what it was; an old world refinery taken over by mercenaries. Barbed wire looped around everything, things were repaired with substandard welding, and the skull motif seemed to be ubiquitous. Every surface was covered in the same black oily residue, and the penetrating smell of gas made me dizzy. Dark smoke hung in a pall over the towers of the refinery, clouding the sun. Here and there men with weapons stood on different levels, tense and suspicious, or ran forward with long connecting pipes. Water out, petrol in.

I noticed that none of these men wore hoods and their teeth seemed to be normal, not filed. They didn’t have that same mad fanatical look that so many of the fighters against the Citadel had borne. But there were no women or children visible, and I couldn’t see anything which qualified even nominally as dwelling structures.

My gaze switched to Furiosa standing on the gigahorse, directing things, surrounded by painted war boys fingered their weapons impatiently. An older black garbed but unmasked man stood close below her, cradling an automatic weapon while they talked back and forth. Not exactly friendly-seeming but no one was trying to kill anyone.

It seemed to take forever, but finally the transfer of fluids was done, someone banging the side of the cab to let Nux know. It was a tight circle the rig had to turn around in, but he managed it.

He idled the engine as Furiosa took up her megaphone again to speak.

“We mean to keep up the old trade agreement; we’ll be back in a couple of weeks. Leave us alone, and we’ll leave you alone.”

As we left Gastown slowly, I looked back through the window; noting the mini towers with their flamethrowers, manned by flint-eyed guards. But we had many vehicles and many men, and though the guards didn’t look happy, they didn’t try to stop us[](https://www.fanfiction.net/docs/docs.php#_msocom_1).


	38. Chapter 38

It was hard to believe we were getting out of there without a fight, and from the grumbling of the war boys, it seemed they would’ve preferred one. We were about five miles from the gates, still in sight but distant enough not to be an immediate threat, when a young war boy, not one I recognised, hung from the top of the cab over Nux’s window and told him, “She says stop.”

Nux nodded without taking his eyes from the road, and eased the tanker to standing. The gigahorse had been in front, but now Furiosa wheeled it back and stopped by Nux’s window. I leaned across his body to look down at her, and he took one hand off the wheel and rested it on my waist.

“Still want to go to the canyon?” she yelled up at me, her blue eyes so piercing I wondered briefly if she could read my thoughts.

I nodded. “Yes. How long will it take?”

Furiosa huffed to show me what she thought of doing this, “’Bout four hours give or take. Give those scav rock riders some gasoline to shut ‘em up. We’ll stay ‘til dark, then you’re on your own.”

I smiled down at her. “Thanks for doing this.” I told her.

She rolled her eyes, and waved me back into the cab. As I leaned back in, Nux kissed me on the cheek and then wrapped me in a quick tight hug, before grabbing the wheel again. The sound of Furiosa’s car horn split the air, and Nux swung the wheel to follow her as the gigahorse accelerated away at right angles to the road.

“So you’re really going?” He asked, his voice quiet yet clear over the hum of the engine.

I bit my lip and rested my hand on his thigh. “I don’t know; I just want to see.”

He glanced over at me and gave me a wan smile, then turned his focus back to the desert. I wanted to hug him, but I didn’t want to distract his driving, especially now that the land seemed to be getting rougher. I tried to remember if we’d come this way, but it looked so different in the day, speeding over it so high above the ground. It was very hypnotic; the huge blue sky, the dusty red expanse below it, the continuous motion of the cab as it rolled along.

After awhile I started to get bored, and leaned out of my window to see if I could detect the mountain range the canyon belonged to. If I leaned far out I could twist my head and see the war boys lounging in their makeshift perches on top of the rig and behind the cab. Pieces of car bodies had been welded to it, forming small towers along its length, with a larger turret at the back. A couple of the young men saw me, so I smiled and waved. They waved hesitantly back, but motioned me to go back in.

At the same time I felt a hand yanking me back by the waistband of my cargo pants. Nux pushed me into the seat and glared at me.

“Not safe.” He snapped, and then his eyes narrowed as something in the distance caught his eye. “Buzzards.” he breathed and then yelled out of his window, “Buzzards!” before pulling on the rig’s horn.

I covered my ears at the sound and peered in the direction he’d been staring. Far away I could see several puffs of dust rising, creating long trails as they came purposefully towards us. The war party’s vehicles closed around us in a tighter formation, and I saw various war boys readying their lances of checking their guns were loaded. The atmosphere of the group became more ebullient; the young men working themselves up into a frenzy of anticipation for a coming altercation.

I’d expected us to slow down before they attacked us, but instead everyone seemed to be speeding up, Furiosa’s gigahorse rocketing forward as plumes of flame shot out the pipes from its rear. The tanker cab was starting to bounce with the increased speed, and I clung to the sides of my seat, wishing I had a seat belt.

“Shouldn’t we be slowing down?” I screamed above the clamour of many engines.

Nux laughed wildly, and as he turned to me his eyes shone. “Today might turn out to be chrome after all!” he exulted, and over the sound of the engines, I could hear the war boys yelling ‘War!’ at the top of their lungs.

Soon the vehicles making the clouds of dust were close enough to be visible, and I experienced a moment of surreality staring at them. They looked like some strange cross between cars and hedgehogs, covered in long thick spikes, and sprouting weird folded appendages.

“Get down!” ordered Nux, but I shook my head; for once I wanted to actually see what happened, and not just a confused part of it like I usually did.

He gave me a glance intense with a mixture of worry and annoyance, and then jerked the wheel one way and then back again, avoiding an outcropping of rock which seemed to rise out of nowhere. The swerve unbalanced me, and I had to brace myself against the side door of the cab.

My head against the window frame, I saw the gigahorse nearing the front hedgehog car. The ethereal white form of a war boy rose out of it carrying one of the exploding lances. He hefted it over his shoulder and threw it overarm towards the other car. At the same time Furiosa swerved violently to the left, and as an orange explosion bloomed out of the other car and it jumped and twisted in the air, I saw she was trying to avoid being caught in the wreckage.

Nux aimed the rig right through it at full speed, which seemed a bit reckless to me, given we were pulling a tanker of highly flammable liquid, but no one seemed all that concerned about it, and the rig hardly even jerked as it plowed through. I saw a phalanx of motorcycles surrounding another hedgehog car, their pillion lancers slamming exploding lances into it from all sides before they veered away and returned to the main formation.

A short crossbow bolt zipped through the window on Nux’s side and clattered over my head. I jumped, startled, and this time when he yelled “Get down!” he punctuated it by grabbing my arm and pushing me forward off the seat. I crouched there, holding onto the walls, while more bolts pinged and impacted around us. Nux spun the wheel and the rig leapt to the side, smashing against something which caused the cab to shudder so much it made my teeth chatter in my head.

“Got ‘em!” he whooped, leaning over the wheel with a look of fierce concentration.

From outside came the booming sound of an explosion and several voices yelled, “Witness!”

I clung to the seat, burying my face in its dilapidated leather. “I didn’t know it was going to be like this!” I shrieked above the sounds of engines and battle. “Are we going to turn back?!”

Nux grinned down at me before glancing back up again. “Why? This is lovely!”

There was a wildness in his voice which surprised me; sensitive and thoughtful he may have been, but he was also a war boy, and he seemed to positively enjoy situations like this. I probably should’ve pointed out to him that people were dying in horribly violent ways, and that there was the distinct potential for us to die too, but at that moment another explosion sent glowing debris flying against the side of the cab.

I screamed and put my hands over my head, reminding myself this was exactly why I didn’t want to stay in this world. Miserably, I wondered if we would make it to the canyon at all.

And then all of a sudden things quieted down and apart from war boys yelling to each other, the only sounds were engine noises.

“They ran.” Nux commented as I looked up at him, placing my hand on his knee. He sounded vaguely disappointed.

Slinking back into my seat, I noticed that he had some shrapnel cuts on the side of his head and shoulder.

“You’re hit!” I exclaimed, reaching out to touch him. Could I give him just a little energy, enough to heal those? I was a bit afraid it might distract him from driving, but I did it anyway.

He let out a deep breath and then grinned at me. “Thanks.”

I nodded, too breathless right then to speak. After this things became a lot calmer, and I settled in to looking out of the window again, watching the desert roll by. The mountains very slowly became larger as the shadows became longer in the afternoon sun. It was early sunset by the time we got there, weaving through the foothills to the canyon. I was interested to see that a lot of the rubble had been cleared away, enough that you could walk or ride a motorbike through the gap.

Furiosa signalled the war party to stop a little way from its cliffs. Silence replaced the hum of engines.

Turning off the rig’s engine, Nux turned to me, his face serious, and said, “This is it.”

“Yeah.” I answered uneasily, taking his helping hand as he stepped down out of the cab.

It felt strange to be on solid ground again after so long driving. I stretched and looked over to where Furiosa beckoned.

“Plan is give ‘em a few cans of guzzoline for holding back while you explore.” She said as she waved over a couple of war boys carrying jerrycans in both hands. “Things go bad, run.”

She set off with megaphone in hand, walking towards the canyon’s entrance. I, Nux, and about four war boys loaded with fuel, followed her. She stopped at what Nux whispered was just out of bullet range and then the megaphone hissed into life.

“Want to make a deal: fuel for checking the wreckage.”

A man’s figure popped up on the top of the cliff; dredded and masked like the people Nux had fought all those days ago when I’d first arrived.

“Deal didn’t go so well last time. And it’s our salvage!” He shouted, his voice hostile. Around him other dredded and masked men appeared, aiming their long rifles at us.

Furiosa turned and scowled at me, then said, her voice booming, “Don’t want salvage. Looking for…” she seemed to be casting around for an excuse, and finished lamely, “…a body.”

“What?! They’re all picked clean now, can’t tell who’s who. Tell us another.” This man didn’t seem at all inclined to give Furiosa what she – or more accurately, I – wanted.

I felt a sinking sensation; so close and yet so far. Crazily I started to wonder if I could slip in undetected after dark, but knew that it would probably not end well for me.

“Does it matter? We won’t take salvage, and you get as much fuel as you can carry.” Furiosa was starting to sound like she was losing patience.

The men conferred with each other hastily; I could see the leader wanted nothing to do with it, but his fellows were obviously very tempted by the petrol. The sun was just starting to set, glowing orange a few inches above the horizon, when the leader threw up his hands and turned back to us.

“Sure, sure, we’ll take it. Bring it over.” He beckoned us closer.

Furiosa turned and made a signal to the rest of the war party. Instantly a group of war boys trotted up, their weapons drawn.

“Cover us.” She ordered their leader, and then motioned with a nod of her head for us to walk forward.

Our long shadows streamed out in front of us as we took hesitant steps forward. When we reached the base of the rubble, Furiosa signalled us to walk through the narrow gap under the broken arch of the canyon entrance. Now we were cut off from the rest of the war party. I cringed against Nux’s arm; this was the perfect setup for an ambush, and I regretted being so gung ho about coming here. He put his arm around me, and smiled down, but his hand still clutched his sawn off shotgun.

“Put ‘em down.” Said Furiosa, and the war boys obeyed her; placing the jerry cans together in a square. She looked around at me, her face red in the light of the setting sun. “Ok, get going.”

I took a deep breath and spun around, wishing that it was night so I could try to more accurately compare what I’d seen the night I arrived. Nux stood with the rest of our small party while I dashed around, stopping every so often to see if I could find a landmark. At first they all watched me curiously, but when nothing exciting immediately happened, a bored look settled over them, only Nux and Furiosa continuing to watch while the others leaned on boulders or wrecks. Up above the rock riders sat and boiled some water, occasionally pointing at me. It was all quite embarrassing, and my sense of desperation didn’t help.

Night was deepening as I started to broaden my search, pawing the stones to see if any one of them might be an entrance way to another world. I closed my eyes, trying to will some sign of strangeness into view. There was nothing. I must’ve been over the wrecks and rubble about ten times, trying to find something, anything.

Soon, the first stars were springing out in the indigo sky, and that was when I’d had enough, throwing myself down on a large boulder with a sob. I couldn’t believe that we’d come all this way for nothing. I kept going over and over my arrival in my mind, trying to recollect how I’d gotten here. Again nothing. All at once, the fear and loss I’d been denying swamped me, and I put my head in my hands and started howling. I was crying for the last of my lost hope, the hope that I could go back to my leafy city to putter around coffee shops and sushi houses, wasting water by showering every day, eating chocolate, knowing that I could walk down most roads day or night, and be relatively safe. To be surrounded by a million people who didn’t know how bad things could get.

Now I was doomed to live the rest of my life in a savage and desolate world, with the constant fear of being forced by circumstances to murder or be murdered. I hugged my knees and rocked back and forth on the boulder, my chest heaving with the force of my crying.

After a little while Nux sat down next to me, his arm going around my shoulders. He pulled me close, his other hand cupping my face, drawing it up to his.

“’M sorry.” He whispered, kissing my forehead.

I bit down on another sob and clung to him, my anguish suddenly tempered by a feeling that maybe I wasn’t so alone after all. He could’ve been insufferable about this if he’d chosen to be, but instead he was as supportive and concerned as he’d always been. My heart flared with affection for him.

“Time to go!” yelled Furiosa from the knot of war boys, who were starting to fidget with impatience. Sensing the end was coming, the rock riders stood up, readying their weapons.

“Come on, let’s go home.” Nux murmured, pulling me to my feet.

I nodded numbly and allowed him to guide me back to the waiting war party on the other side of the breached canyon. I glanced back at the silhouettes of the jerry cans standing in the grey sand, and tried to imagine that I was leaving all thought of my old life with them. I’d been holding myself remote from this world as long as I’d been here, always thinking about getting home. And now that was gone. Somehow, I had to start thinking of the Citadel as home, of this world as my world.

Furiosa cast me a keen glance as we neared the main party, but there was compassion in it. While she and the other war boys leapt back into their vehicles, Nux hugged me by the cab door, wrapping his arms around me while he buried his face in my hair. We stood like that for a minute, unmoving, unspeaking, as if he was trying to communicate with me through skin contact alone. It made me realise like a flash that here was something worth staying for, whatever we had between us. I’d started this journey with him, and now it was over, maybe we could start something else together.

I broke free from his hug and stepped back to look up at him, holding both his hands, a shy smile flitting over my face. He smiled back down at me, blue eyes glinting in the glare of the gigahorse’s headlights.

“Home sounds good.” I said, knowing that for the first time that I meant the same place he did.

The End


End file.
